To think that perineal massage just makes you think how the fuck is a baby going to come out of there?

[honeytea]

Had the pleasure of a perineal massage for the first time today (thanks to my DP.) After lots of wiggling and me saying ow! and DP saying unhelpful things like "your streatch marks are cool, it looks like you have flames on your tummy" I am left with the overwhelming feeling that there is no way a baby will ever fit through that hole.

I wonder if it is too late to book a c-section.

Keep doing it! It will be worth it and have a water birth :)

Bless your DP! and it does fit honest.

Wow go your dh! Mine wouldn't do it

And seriously?! Sometimes it isn't as simple as "just have a water birth" believe me if it was I certainly would have!!!

It does help so keep it up. It will stop hurting. I never did it and I only had a tiny tear with my first that didn't need stiches. Bigger than average babies to. So the baby will fit. (hopes that this does not imply I have a wizard's sleeve).

Thanks for the reassurance :) I can't have a water birth as I live in Sweden and they are banned :( I hope to spend lots of time in the bath before we go into hospital, maybe that will help a little.

DP wasn't to happy about doing it but I told him that he put the baby in there so he had to help a little now it is time for the baby to come out (I'm a mean DP)

I've "persuaded" my DH to do it too but not sure if he's doing it right... I see it as a good chance to practise my breathing through the pressure gubbins.

yanbu. I remember it stinging and pulling a bit and having a slight freak out at the thought of a baby coming out.

(had an EMCS in the end).

Cringe. 3 Dcs and 3 cs here so can't help much

It works, I think. I did it myself. I'd really recommend keeping going with it.

Yanbu, but they do come out that way, in general, honest! Have an epidural if you need one. You will be fine.

Yanbu but they do get out - it is worth doing.

I did perineal massage (dp did it for me) and managed to get ds who was back to back and 9lb 7oz out - did tear a bit but I think with his position and head circumference being 91st centile I got off lightly.

If you don't have an epidural they can pop you some local anaesthetic in down there- I had this and did not feel the tear happen - and they got the gas and air working for my stitches :)

It's great to hear it does work!

I will try to practise my breating tonight when we try it again :)

The breathing is the most important part ime - I was doing it for 4 days and it really helped me manage along with my tens machine.

I did perenial massage... then had forceps. I had an episiotomy obviously, it isn't even that bad. If a babies coming out of there, a few stitches really don't make that much difference!

I have to say, it does sting a little, but your vagina is designed to allow a baby to travel down it. And it does (more or less) go back to normal again afterwards. Never tried the perineum massage; can't imagine my DH going for that - I was 14 days overdue and he even refused to have sex with me in an attempt to get things started naturally. Bastard.

YADNBU. I started this week and am finding it unbelievably grim. Had a proper freak out the first time and said the exact words of the title of this thread whilst nearly crying!

Am really trying to breathe and relax through but it's so hard. Everything feels so tight :( My Hypnobirthing teacher suggested visualising an opening rose. There's a good time lapse video of this on YouTube, I can't say it has helped so far but I am going to keep trying!

Just the thought of it makes my toes curl! I did it once and it was really uncomfortable and horrible. I was going to persevere but DD came at 36 weeks so thankfully didn't have to.

I had a baby two months ago - she got "stuck" half crowned for an hour as my perineal muscles were too strong according to midwife (she asked if I was a horse rider...I hate horses)! Anyway....as she brought out the threat of an episiotomy I managed to push out baby on next contraction with no tearing, cutting or stitches required! I am very proud of my perineum haha :)

Well I didn't do it and I ripped nearly in half or so it felt
Keep it up, it's got to be worth a try!