I've messed up my child care arrangements, should I leave dd with my friend?

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

I've been an idiot and fucked up my child care arrangements. Dd is normally looked after by my mum or by my aunt. We are all very close and this normally works brilliantly. Until now...

My mum reminded me that she is away this Friday & Monday, I remembered her mentioning this ages ago and stupidly assumed that meant my aunt would have dd. Spoke to my aunt today and she said "ooh you remember your mum and I are away this Friday & Sat."

It suddenly hit me that a month ago they had told me that they were both away and I had assured them if would not be a problem. Except I forgot and now have two really important uncancelable meetings on those days.

So would it be unreasonable for me to leave dd with my friend on Mon & Fri. I could work reduced hours do it would be for 3/4 hours. Dd does know friend but not really well.

(Dh is not available those days)

Wouyd your friend do it? If so YANBU.

How old is dd? Can you take holidays? Is friend available? Why can't dh step up?

If your friend has agreed to it then I'm not sure of a reason why not?

Sorry leaving out details.

Dd is 21 months

Dh has the same situation as me. Really important meetings those days so can't take a hol.

Has your friend agreed to it? Why do you think you can't leave her?
Really not sure what the problem is.

It's just that I've never left her with anyone but family before. Worried she would have a melt down.

Not fun for dd or for friend.

Why do you suppose she would have a melt down ?
If friend is happy, then I can't honestly see why there is any problem.

If it were me, I would leave dd with friend then. Although I have a mild mannered ds, who is quite happy to be passed from pillar to post and prefers the company of complete strangers to me or Dh.

ignores the screaming coming from bathtime upstairs

If you are really worried about her having a melt down can your friend watch her at yours?

Bugger. Your posts made me realise I was being very precious first born and should just let friend look after her.

Just spoken to friend and normally it would bd no problem but her son is home at moment with chicken pox.

Damn it.

Still blister pox or scabbed over pox?

Could you engage a childminder?

Engage? Arrange is what I meant, but I suppose either makes sense!

what about neighbour even for one day?

I have had this and variously: had a temp nanny, chucked DS into nursery under their occasional care arrangements, left him with friends. He's younger than your DD and always been ok with it so far.

So if you're happy with the pox risk go for your friend, if not look at a temp nanny.

Get thee to childcare.co.uk & book a one-off CM - it'll be fine.

Two parents + jobs that involve unavoidable meetings = this is going to be happening to you for at least the next decade...

Ok dh has manned up and said he can probably change his meet

Oops meeting on the Monday. So I just need to sort out Friday.

Think I will try a nursery.

The main problem with the chicken pox is that her little boy is feeling ill and is off scholl. Friend could manage her baby & dd but not her sick ds as well.

I doubt you'd get a nursery to take her as a one off.

It'a worth a try. I know one in Coventry if that helps?

Try sitters.co.uk? We've always had good experiences with them, heard about them on MN ...