to think mothers who constantly use the 'daddy' threat need to grow a pair?

[crazyhatlady]

I seem to be surrounded by women like this and it bugs the hell out of me. One of the mums at ds's nursery must say it to her son at least 10 times during drop off , every single day.

Right that's it I'm telling daddy, come here right now or I'm telling daddy and so on. My sil is the same, her kids don't listen to a word she says as she is incapable of disciplining them.

I mean all these women are just reinforcing gender stereotypes surely. They are your kids too ladies, deal with it yourself and stop turning daddy into the big bad wolf..

It also undermines their own authority as a parent, as they admit to their children that they are not the "alpha" and invites rebellion as they make themselves look weak.

I agree

I also hate the 'stop doing that or will one and tell you off'
After years of promising myself I did say to a child 'actually that's not true. I don't care if you do that or not' when a woman in a cafe said 'eat nicely and stop banging that or that lady will be cross and tell you off'.
I was just getting up to leave though so it wasn't that brave

I never did it when ds was little but now he is older (11) I sometimes say "I will discuss your behaviour with dad when he gets in." Works a treat

Authority boobs.

I'm a stay at home Dad, so to offer an alternative viewpoint, I do occasionally use "Wait til your Mum gets home" as a threat if I just want to mix things up a bit.

I like to keep 'em guessing.

I must have a pair of those already. Most small children (and grown men) are naturally terrified of me.

Not my own though

I hate the phrase 'grow a pair'. Implies you can ony be brave if you're a man

Unless you mean ovaries :)

Otherwise I entirely agree

perfectfather yeah I'm not convinced it doesn't hurt to let kids know they are answerable to not just you. Keeping them guessing is never a bad thing imo

Absolutely captainbarnacle that's what bugs me, they come across as weak to me so must do to their kids as well.

Fair point startingover perhaps backbone would have been a better choice of words!

Arf at 'I like to keep em guessing'

My dc, including the 19 year old, areaway more alarmed by 'I will need to discuss this with mum' than 'with dad'.
I am the finder of hideous consequences.

Agreed. Not as bad as that seasonal favourite:
Santa won't bring you your pressies! boak and

Weirdly I am too pag but because dh is very calm and has never lost his temper with ds yet - there's always the chance that today could be his unlucky day

In fairness I think it is different when you say to an older child 'I am going to talk to about this. That indicates that the matter is serious to warrant further action.
Telling a small child 'I will tell daddy/mummy about this if you don't stop' is just an abdication of responsibility. And weak ass

We here did Santa so that wouldn't have worked in our house help

never

Yes I totally agree!! And I also have a friend who says to her daughter 'oh stop doing that or peggotty will get cross' or 'peggotty doesn't like it when you do that'. I couldn't give a rats arse what her child does and now the girl looks at me like I'm I'm terrifying. It really bugs me!!

at Valium

That sounds a bit incredible Hulk...

I always thought grow a pair did mean boobs...
Does it actually mean testes?
Interesting! I suppose the link is 'get some balls' hmmmmmm

I agree.

On the other hand, when DS started being deliberately naughty (e.g. touching sockets or banging on glass - stuff he knows he's not allowed to do) when DH told him to stop or told him off it usually worked (well 90% of the time). When I did it he completely ignored me! I remember one day trying lots of different stern voices in an attempt to make DS listen to me DH was laughing his socks off

DS also listens more to my dad than to my mum (they look after DS whilst I'm at work).

I've not yet used the threat of telling his dad (he's only 14 months) but it is frustrating that he will stop when his dad tells him to but not me.

So I go more for the distraction technique, or the "punishment" (1 minute in his cot by himself).

dara o'briain's "the man" sketch

In our family, I am the main disciplinarian, so if DH tells the DC to do something, or not to do something, they often ignore him, until I back him up.

I think this has something to do with the fact that I am fairly easy going, but if I say something, I tend to mean it. My default position is "yes, unless there's a good reason why not" whereas his is "no, and I'll find a reason why not.".

I think the fact that I am less strict means I get better discipline when it's needed.

And I have a very fine if slightly saggy pair, thank you very much!

See I have a different perspective on this. My DH and I both use each other as a threat when we aren't there. For us it's more about the matter being so serious that the other parent will be told.!