to think mothers who constantly use the 'daddy' threat need to grow a pair?

[crazyhatlady]

I seem to be surrounded by women like this and it bugs the hell out of me. One of the mums at ds's nursery must say it to her son at least 10 times during drop off , every single day.

Right that's it I'm telling daddy, come here right now or I'm telling daddy and so on. My sil is the same, her kids don't listen to a word she says as she is incapable of disciplining them.

I mean all these women are just reinforcing gender stereotypes surely. They are your kids too ladies, deal with it yourself and stop turning daddy into the big bad wolf..

I am Evil Edna .

I do sometimes say, Get x done before Daddy comes home. Or, Daddy will be disappointed...however, it is not becasue I am incapable of disciplining them.

I say it to my four-year-old, but he's not scared of his Daddy. On the contrary, he's a total Daddy's boy and absolutely adores him - he gets distraught at the mere thought of Daddy being even slightly disappointed in him. Which is very handy for me at times, because he's not nearly so worried about what I think...

y Mrsjay, it's just lying to them and teaches them that you arn't to be trusted, also a pretty shitty lesson.

I think it is just lazy and why cant they just say sit down because you will fall our get in the way or cos i bloody said so ,

On a tangent, Betty White's quote is appropriate:

“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

I killed my first thread, didn't I?

haha i like that Poppy!

OP YANBU it pisses me off too.

Thanks, Heidi. Will always remember you fondly now

I absolutely agree op and it shows a sign of weakness. Also, we don't want to have to wait till daddy comes home, we want you to sought your child out NOW thank you!

I agree. It's also very annoying when police are about and they say, 'stop doing that or that police man will arrest you etc'.

You know this whole parenting lark can be fucking difficult. My husband is away ALOT. It all falls to me, I am the eternal bad guy. So what, when it calls for it dad is called in as back up for effect. It can be called sharing the load at times and sometimes just something to say when you are fucking tired and don't always know the perfect way to deal with it - shoot me, bad mother alert.

Yabu- can't find the words to explain properly, but sometimes a child will play up for the main parent. Sometimes it helps to point out that someone else will be disappointed/ upset blah blah to hear of their behaviour

I've been a single parent with ds from birth and I find threads like these on issues with co parenting very interesting because they're completely alien to me. There's no threats with ds, no one else to discuss it with etc, just whatever I decide at the time. I am both soft mummy and strict mummy. I'd never threaten ds with the police or the bogey man, he knows only children over ten can be arrested and even then not many children actually go to prison.

I agree, like LucieMay I was a single parent from birth so this type of threat was never an option! Sometimes I think raising dc in a relationship is actually disempowering to women, when they are in a couple they often relinquish responsibility of things like discipline, DIY, unwilling to travel alone with dc, afraid of being in the house alone and leave it all to the father. Then in situations when they do end up being a single parent, they end up being absolutely lost when they're forced to deal with it on their own.

I occasionally say it. But then again, I think DH says it about me when he's looking after the DCs and I'm out .

However, I am currently a big fan of the teacher threat with my 3.5yo. Not in a really negative way, but in a kind of: 'I think Miss X will be very sad and disappointed if we are late for school. I may have to tell her that you wouldn't put your shoes and coat on' - works an absolute treat as he worships her and doesn't seem to give a shit what I say at the moment.

I just snorted (very ungraciously) and authority boobs.

I too hate the "wait until your dad gets home etc". Unless the mum has already disciplined and is simply telling the child that they will inform the other parent (thou that's not normally the case IMO).

And I totally agree with the random shop worker, stranger thing etc