to think that feminism should have thought about the consequences and set some rules.

[TulisaLover]

I've been chatting with DP this evening and mentioned a post that's been doing the rounds on facebook. It's from a lady sending a message to This Morning about the cost of childcare - on the surface it's a powerful post.

To cut it down:

'I am looking to return to work next year and child care will cost 810 every 4wks - this is more than our mortage!!. The government should help with child care costs.'

DP and I agree with it's sentiment - that child care costs are crippling families, but not necessarily with helping for the costs - he said:

"This is why feminism should have laid down some rules. Both parents earning an income meant banks salivated and started lending for homes based on both. This has forced up prices to cover this as house prices are a function of the amount being lent. Society as a whole loses, bankers win. What should have happened is when you have kids, both parents should be encouraged to work part time so that childcare is shared - or failing that the higher earner whichever gender should have been the one to work. Problems like this wouldn't have happened."

It struck a chord with me - what do you ladies think?

They are our look out. Not one penny of tax credits here.

There are rules in Feminism. Here are just 3.

Rule 1. Men should accept that the care of their children is equally their responsibility.
Rule 2. Employers should accept that the care of their employee's children is equally the responsibility of their employees and their partners.
Rule 3. Men should share domestic tasks equally in the home

If men and society can't follow the damn rules, it's not the fault of "Feminism".
FWIW, the women in my family have always worked, even when "Feminism" said it was not the done thing.
It is the responsibility of those who actually make the laws regarding parental leave etc to make the rules of Feminism stick, otherwise we are all pissing in the wind.

I Thank You.

No, because of the high cost of living. You actually think everyone is a home owner? Or that all tenants are renting mortgaged properties? I rent - there has never been a mortgage on this house. The landlord (and his family) have owned it since it was built.

"I think you're all concentrating on the poor choice of using feminism, and missing the bigger point sadly."

We're not missing the point. You asked us what we thought of your DH's deeply misogynist views and we're telling you.

Feminism has got bugger all to do with usury is gender non specific... and women entered the labourforce in the bleeding paleolithic... hunter gather culteurs who did the gathering... the industrial revolution would never of happened if it wasn't for women and children working in factories and the information age would never have come about without Ada Lovelace

think DP's point was that when women started entering the workforce, this should have flagged up and thought about more.

when - your DP is aware that women have ALWAYS worked ...since the dawn of time

Indeed - because of high house prices - that's the point.

It isn't just housing that is dispossessing you of your money though

He is not a misogynist. He made me breakfast in bed the other day.

I think he's more than a little misguided, but ignorance is easily remediable. If you think his heart's in the right place, then I'm sure you'd both find it interesting and enlightening to learn some more about feminism.

It'd be great if you both understood more about why so many women take the exit ramp off their careers and why they find themselves without access to return.

It'd be great if he could distinguish the broad aims of feminism from the results of a capitalistic system.

It'd be great if he had an inkling of how feminism has had to struggle against male dominated institutions, such as banking, the government and the legal profession - how can we expect feminism to change these things without having a voice there?

He is not a misogynist. He made me breakfast in bed the other day.

Your correct he isn't a misogynist. You are just trying to start a bunfight.

I wouldn't dream of calling him a misogynist based on the tiny amount of info on this thread ... but making you breakfast in bed is hardly disqualifying him from that group!

I'm struggling to see how feminism is in any way more responsible and more to blame for this particular situation, than that grand old patriarchal institution: capitalism...

"He is not a misogynist. He made me breakfast in bed the other day"

Good one, OP!

He's a highly fascinating man who ejects opinions that some people may find a little bit close to the knuckle, but in the end I think he's proven himself to be a very caring father and a superb provider. He has been buying up gold in vast quantities since 2001 whilst saying 'it's the only rational response to irrational monetary policy'. He's done very well for us and he's only trying to share his wisdom about what the real problems are with others.

'Childcare costs are their lookout, not everyone else's'.

Bzzz, wrong. Or will you be paying fully for your refuse collection, ambulance trips, your children's schooling and medicare care - which also includes contributing to the education of the doctors and teachers involved? i.e. you can't just go private and act like you've not been subsidised. Do you pay for streetlights, paved roads, traffic lights, the police, our legal system, the social security system?

Bottom line is, we should all contribute as best we can, and the government should use our contribution fairly to provide a safe, pleasant place to live and give us opportunities to contribute to the economy and greater society. Childcare falls into this.

I think my question about obtuseness has been answered.

So is this what you think, or what dp thinks?

Thread title & subsequent backpedalling are mutually contradictory.

I agree with what your dh said expect for his first sentence

Oh sorry. Now seen post of 21:11.

except

He's an ignorant twit. As are you, for being blown away by his little pearls of wisdom and for saying with a straight face that a misogynist wouldn't make you breakfast in bed!

Again, nothing some wider reading can't remedy, but I get the feeling he's a bit of a blowhard who would struggle to concede there is much he is ignorant about...

DP says he would rather pay for his own refuse collection as we generate little waste and have a compost bin which our faeces go into. Same with health care and schooling. Streetlights and paved roads are no problem as he lives off the land and I walk to work and a torch would be sufficient in winter.