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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think no one else would go mad about this!

114 replies

worldofmyown · 09/11/2012 18:30

Im sitting crying cause im sick of it. Pathetic.
Cbeebies is on for lo and oh started watching tele on his phone so my exact words are "if you play with lo you can change the channel" he throw his phone on the floor and started shouting dont tell me what to fucking do. why do you have to be involved i can do what i want. if i want to watch tv on my phone its nothing to do with you. i said i only said you can change the channel and he said its nothing to do with u and stormed off upstairs. leaving me with lo like i lool after her all day amd night myself.
Aibu to think no one else would react like this as he says everyone would.
Lo is 4months so when i say play if she gets upset give her toy back and shes fine and happy x

OP posts:
Justreadthefuckingwords · 09/11/2012 21:15

You all know what the real problem with this OP was.

It wasn't the TV.

It wasn't the situation.

It was the lack of coherency, spelling & grammar in the posts. That & the fact the OP got a bit shirty with the high-handed responses.

Yes, it's AIBU, but really, really?

It's a bit fucking shitty.

apostropheuse · 09/11/2012 21:18

It's not acceptable that he threw things around and shouted at you like that. Not at all.

However, I do think it was unacceptable for you to say to him:

"if you play with lo you can change the channel"

He's an adult and you were giving him permission to change the channel on the TV with conditions attached. It was patronising.

If someone had said that to me I would have told them to stick the remote control where the sun don't shine tbh.

I have to say, I haven't found most of the anwers on this thread particularly nasty, and your reaction makes me wonder if perhaps you're also short tempered.

Whatsmyproblem · 09/11/2012 21:28

I can't believe this thread.

The poor OP is being bullied by her husband, who's obviously an aggressive dick, and you're all shrieking about fucking cbeebies.

Pathetic. I hope you feel good about your superior parenting skills.

Don't mind the OP while she goes back to living with an emotionally abusive man will you?

Lizzylou · 09/11/2012 21:30

If someone had said that to me I would have told them to stick the remote control where the sun don't shine tbh.
and
I have to say, I haven't found most of the anwers on this thread particularly nasty, and your reaction makes me wonder if perhaps you're also short tempered.

Grin at the irony apostropheuse, pot and kettle.

dontcallmehon · 09/11/2012 21:30

OP, it's not acceptable for him to treat you like that. You know that needs to change. Much depends on whether or not this is his usual pattern of behaviour. The watching TV thing is irrelevant, you weren't asking for parenting advice. Some people just love to make themselves feel superior.

apostropheuse · 09/11/2012 21:35

Yes but Lizzylou I would have said it in a loving and kind manner of course Grin

It's perfectly possible to be very sweet while telling someone to stick it where the sun don't shine!

Justreadthefuckingwords · 09/11/2012 21:41

It's a fucking funny place round here sometimes, you're allowed to be poor, poor is good, anyone with money (at least with ostentatious money) is generally, reviled, they might vote Tory after all.

So poor is good & worthy - BUT ONLY EDUCATED POOR. Ill educated poor can fuck off & take it, really, they deserve everything they get, because after all, they let their children WATCH TV & EAT MCDONALDS & HAVE GOATS & SHIT. Which is bad & they deserve to be reviled because they can't articulate their feelings properly, which makes them basically sub-human & a whipping boy.

Essentially, the perfect MNter is a highly educated person without means. Describes most of the UMC really, but as they only account for about 5% of the population I don't quite know where the rest of this ideal cohort is expected to be drawn from.

Procrasstinator · 09/11/2012 21:56

tis a really odd bunch in AIBU i think justread

keep thinking i shouldn't visit these parts, and then keep forgetting....

folk are just normal elsewhere on MN

Lizzylou · 09/11/2012 22:09

Justread, the obvious snobbery is shocking, I agree.
However, you are making assumptions yourself on the Ops financial and educational status. It really shouldn't matter.
apostropheuse, I am sure the OP was smiling sweetly when she was typing responses to the snarky comments whilst so upset Hmm

Whatsmyproblem · 09/11/2012 22:18

It's like someone coming on here and saying: 'I got shockingly pissed on Baileys at the office party and then my boss raped me. Please help'. And everyone going: 'Eeurgh why are you drinking Baileys? That stuff is horrible. You must be really common'.

Lizzylou · 09/11/2012 22:23

Exactly Whatsmyproblem and then others piling in with links to studies showing that Baileys is a worse drink than wine or whatever Hmm

RyleDup · 09/11/2012 22:41

Crikey whatsmyproblem. Nasty analogy, but true.

LisaMed · 09/11/2012 22:42

I used to leave DS in front of the tv all the time at that age - mainly when it was tuned to Classic FM. And when you are physically incapable of doing much with a child, half an hour of babytv (check it out) could be a lot worse. And when it is 3am and your child is screaming and babytv is a channel that during the night broadcasts sounds and patterns to soothe a baby to sleep, then there is nothing wrong with making use of that.

OP - this may get me banned, but have a hug. Hope all works out for you.

RyleDup · 09/11/2012 22:47

Baby tv is bloody great. My kids loved it!

HariboObsessed · 09/11/2012 22:54

Is it just me who read the 'play with lo and you can change the channel' as OP being kind rather than patronising/possessive? I took it to mean that she noticed DP wanted to watch something but LO needed to be occupied so rather than it being an order, it was said so he could watch something but LO wouldn't then get upset and interrupt whatever the programme was ?? Can't see anything wrong with that, if my DP said that to me I wouldn't take it badly, I would probably just say 'ah great idea - thought that channel was on for a reason' or something along those lines.

To whoevers comment was 'childcare practitioner? What a wanky job title' after OP said she is being bullied at home. Shame on you.

LisaMed · 09/11/2012 22:56

RyleDup - Where is the carrot? Here is the carrot. Hello, carrot.

Funnily enough, DS is nearly six, but was poorly a few weeks ago and decided against Ben10 (which I had fought against for ages) and wanted to watch babytv. It is incredibly soothing. Which I suppose is the point.

(another illegal hug for OP who probably really needs it)

CotedePablo · 09/11/2012 22:58

Haribo that's how I took her comment as well. Anyway it looks like the OP has deregistered. I do hope those who drove her away are proud of themselves and are never in need of a little MN comfort themselves.

Lizzylou · 09/11/2012 23:02

Thank God for some sanity. Exactly how I read the OP.

What the effing jeff is Baby TV and why wasn't I aware of it in 2004??? We don't do sky though, I expect it isn't on Freeview.

Procrasstinator · 09/11/2012 23:03

That's how I read it too

And a bit like she can't ask him directly for help, she needs a sweetener for him to play with his child

bellabreeze · 09/11/2012 23:09

YANBU at all OP, please don't feel like you are. I hope you're ok!
As for the bullies on this thread I am pretty shocked, how dare you!?

LisaMed · 09/11/2012 23:12

Lizzylou babytv is channel 623 on sky which is 24hr and is actually designed to stimulate babies. During the night there is soft music and sort of soothing lights or pictures of aquariums and stuff, and it is meant to be soothing to babies and get them off to sleep. Apparently the concept came to the founder when she was stuck awake with a little one at 2am and really desperate for anything and frustrated by what was on tv at that time. Daytime is programming aimed at very little children which includes lots of songs and stuff. I don't know how it squares with the research. Linky may work but my pc is on the blink, so can't check.

I have said so many times that I wouldn't post on mumsnet for help. I have seen wonderful support on here, but I have seen too much of the other stuff as well. I would have to be really desperate to take the risk, and if I was that desperate then really the risk wouldn't be worth taking.

Lizzylou · 09/11/2012 23:15

Blimey Lisamed, that is fab.
I fondly remember being up with my DS's at 4.30am/5am waiting for 6am Cbeebies kick off Hmm Thankfully those days are done!!!

Op, I really, really hope that you are OK and I hope that you can see that not everyone on MN is a twat. Steer clear of AIBU though eh??

Arthurfowlersallotment · 09/11/2012 23:16

There isn't a child in this country who is going to become a disturbed adult as a direct result of watching Mr Tumble. Calm the fuck down people.

LisaMed · 09/11/2012 23:20

Arthur - no child is being disturbed by Mr Tumble, but a lot of adults are going wibble as a direct result.

I am such a bad mother that I let my ds watch dvds of Letterland so that he picked up all his letters from there really easily. I am an even worse mother because I read him the books as well (although he reads them himself now).

And this is absolutely nothing to do with the OP - I really feel for her. It sounds like she can't do right for doing wrong at home and her OH is convincing her that his very nasty behaviour is normal.

Arthurfowlersallotment · 09/11/2012 23:28

I think the OP's P is an emotionally stunted shit. Sorry OP. I agree that the posters with the best advice are probably over in relationships.

Lisa I have developed a Pavlovian response to mr Tumble's spotty bag. It makes me nauseous.

And don't get me started on Chuggington. They're trains for fuck's sake, why are they collecting pumpkins for a pie?