To lock myself in a cupboard with my Kindle & a bottle of gin?

[KenLeeeeeee]

School has broken up for half term today (it's an Academy, so they have weird term dates) and although it's only been half an hour since I picked up ds1, ds2 and dd, I'm already at my wits end with the bickering and chorus of "Mum mum mum MUM MUM MUM MUM MUUUUUMMMM". Add ds3's teething & general grumpiness to the equation & I'm very quickly going grey & losing my mind.

AND I HAVE 10 MORE DAYS OF THIS

I normally love the holidays & have lots of fun with the kids, but today they've morphed into utter monsters & I would like to run off and join the circus for some peace & quiet.

Seems entirely reasonable to me to lock yourself away with Kindle and Gin. Would you like chocolate cake too. Chocolate cake is of course soul food and therefore very good for you.

Of course! How could I have forgotten the cake?!

Don't forget MP3 and headphones so you can't hear them going "Muuuuuuuuuum"

I'd suggest iPhone with headphones, then you can order a takeaway straight to the cupboard later as well as listen to music.

Ah, but then I'd have to open the cupboard door to retrieve my takeaway, ehich would enable the kids to get me!

I suggest a trail of haribo leading to the TV, this will distract them for long enough for you to nip to the front door for the takeaway.

Yabu.
Lock the kids in the cupboard and enjoy gin and kindle on the sofa.

Can I join you?
(mine are at school, though!)

Ah bilbo you're obv far more experienced at this than the rest of us!