Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

Nothing better of a Friday night than a snotty know it all kid telling grown women to get off their arses!

I run my own business and I would give him the time of day, never mind a job, with that attitude.

OP, you must be sooo proud

wouldnt give him the time of day.

I could get a commission based job in a second, I'm not doing that.

Is there anything you are actually prepared to fucking do, Little Lord Fauntleroy?! FFS.....

hiding this shit now.

Some of you are talking about the army, would you let your kids join the army? Would you want your kids to be workies at the local construction site? I imagine not.

If my DS grows up and wants to join the army or work on a construction site, I'll be proud. If he turns out like you I'll be mortified.

@1sassylassy - What job did your son get? You do realise the unemployment figures are at a record high and that it doesn't really matter whether you are in a small town or a big city,
in a city,there are more retail opportunities,more call centres and more catering establishments ,so dont tell me that the job opportunities are equal to a small town with a population of approx 20,000.

You asked what job my son got,he went packing ice cream,sometimes scheduled work,sometimes standby when he would be rung at 5 am for a 6 am start.As I said before he was polite,hard working with a good attitude,the company soon saw this and offered him a permanent position,training him to take his Forklift licence.It might not be the most exciting job or the best paying job in the world but it pays enough to run a car and generally enjoy life.
If you have no dependents then you can do agency work,even if you only get one full day a week it pays more than the dole but from what you have written on here,you seem to want a high paying job for little effort,if you were my son I would tell you to wise up and grow up,the world doesnt owe you a living.

FWIW I have three ds,s and none have them have ever been out of work for more than a few days since leaving school,but then they were bought up with a good attitude and a good work ethic.

You are allowed to only apply for 3 fields
So... the JSA officers would actively prevent you applying for a job outside your "chosen" (!) fields, have I got that right?
Who knew.

My DS does a labouring job during the Uni holidays. He is very intelligent indeed and is looking to complete postgraduate degrees. If he had this horrible, arrogant entitled attitude, he would get a virtual kick in the posterior!

And because JSA exists I am allowed to choose what jobs I want

Only for a very limited period of time. And after 13 weeks they can require you to attend a work programme.

Oh...and in order to be eligible for JSA you have to be available for work 40 hours a week. I don't see how that fits in with your desire only to do p/t work.

You entitled little fuck.

One of those workies was offering you a start. One of those workies who is less than ten years older than you is so a position to offers people work.

You've done what? An hnc? In a vague non vocational subject.

I done one of them whilst working and looking after 2 kids.

I'm sorry for you OP. Your son is entitled, arrogant, inexperienced in life and deluded.

Dog, you may think you are coming across as an intelligent young man with well thought out and eloquently expressed opinions - however you are coming across as a spoiled little boy. If you we're to read this back in 10 years time I can guarantee you would hang your head in shame at the offensive and ridiculous comments you have made. You would also be mortified at the arrogance and bad attitude displayed throughout your posts.

The world does not owe you. Get a job, grow up and learn what life is really about.

So it's all beneath you is it? Because you can string a sentence together?

What you looking for? I work in social work/community education and it's grim out there, even for those that are fully qualified. (note fully, not one year qualifications)

I can think of 5 friends/ relatives who earn £150k+ without exception they all got where they are doing jobs you look down on or reject, including forces. Another friend has her dream job; she got it by working in retail where she was utterly miserable, but paid the bills and volunteering on her day off to get relevant experience.
Stop thinking the world owes you a living and get out there.

If you we're to read this back in 10 years time I can guarantee you would hang your head in shame at the offensive and ridiculous comments you have made. You would also be mortified at the arrogance and bad attitude displayed throughout your posts

I wouldn't hold your breath. He'd have to develop some maturity and self - awareness first.

The world does not owe you

Unfortunately he seems to think that with his limited qualifications and experience that it does, and he should be able to accept handouts while he picks and chooses.

Is your instructor Hamish by any chance?

Learn the system before you start saying it's working
well you obviously havent because if you had you wouldnt be on a JSA sanction.

Pretty much every well off professional I know including doctors and lawyers etc at some point did retail/hotel/care/labouring/kitchen/porter/call centre etc work, are they unintelligent? how can all those jobs be filled with people who are thicker than you if they were right of passage for everyone I know who "made it"?

Remember, I could be your boy, that wants to grow up and be a footballer - are you going to crush him and tell him; "Sorry son work 9-5, forget actually doing what you want to in life and conform with the rest of us" I'm not old enough to have been your babysitter nevermind your mother.

If my child at 19 still thinks that he will be able to be a footballer then great so long as he has a plan B. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do something different but you have to realise that on your journy to your dream job you might have to drop your high standards a little and actually work for your dream.

When I was 19 I worked in a photo priting shop every summer, no air con and south facing window, it was so hot I'd go home and shower at lunch some days. I worked ever weekend and every weekday apart from mondays and got paid very little. I finished my degree in photography the week before I turned 21. Photography is a bloody hard industry to get a start in, by the time I left uni I had a job in a studio, I then moved to Australia to work at a studio there, I won international awards for my photography. If I had turned my nose up at working long hours printing people's fucking dull holiday snaps I would still be sitting in my mum's house wasting my life away which is what you seem to be doing.

I must say I feel very very sorry for your poor mother, goodness she must feel embarrassed.

Don't feel sorry for Mum- she admits in her first post she contributed to his attitudes towards the 'system'

" Learn the system before you start saying it's working"
well you obviously havent because if you had you wouldnt be on a JSA sanction

Oh yeah and just so my mp and council leader don't waste their time on this I've emailed them both a link.

Don't feel sorry for Mum- she admits in her first post she contributed to his attitudes towards the 'system' hmm

Can you imagine how much you would feel like the last 19 years were a fucking waste if your kid behaved like OP's son. It must be her fault people are not born as rude as this young man, but I do feel sorry for her, you get one chance at being a mum, maybe she can give us some tips as to how to avoid this outcome..

Goldeneyedog, I've not read every post on here......have you thought about trying to set up your own business? You sound like a person, with the right steer could do it. Just takes determination, you don't need the job centre ( I set up 3 businesses, my own boss, don't take crap from anyone). I did it on peanuts.

Saying that, I waited tables.....worked continental shifts in factories whilst funding college....but it can be done.

Well, he'll be fine on the "don't take crap from anyone" bit...

Aye!