Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

I will not work in a bar as I do not believe in alcohol.
You're wired to the moon, son.

Pubs - Yes again, I have a conscientious objection to working in a bar, why should I wast my time with alcoholics and people that want to spend their time getting drunk. As I have already said, If I were a Muslim this would not be an issue. Religious objections are respected in this country but conscientious ones are not.

Volunteer work - I never said I wouldn't volunteer, I said I wouldn't do FORCED LABOUR in a charity shop. I am not above volunteering, volunteering is a good thing - 4 weeks of slave labour is not. But once again, If I volunteer I won't get paid, so that's not really useful at the moment.

Fast Food - Those workers work harder than any of you posting and get paid a pittance for the blood, sweat and tears they expend at work. It is the most underpaid and under respected job in the world, they should all be paid at least £7.60 p/h for the work that they do. I will not work for £4.95 an hour to serve people at McDonalds.

Anything else is fine.
@Whoknowswhocares
I have been working nightly for my dream job, it won't come knocking - I will earn that. There is very little respect in this forum, what do you think you lot are teaching your kids by treating someone young enough to be your son in this manner. Remember, I could be your boy, that wants to grow up and be a footballer - are you going to crush him and tell him; "Sorry son work 9-5, forget actually doing what you want to in life and conform with the rest of us". Just because I'm not studying to be a doctor or a lawyer does not mean what I'm doing is a just a hobby, most hobbies do not have job prospects but mine does.

Make sure your cv and cover letter are tailored for every job you apply for. You say that an interview for a retail position proves they are ok which worries me two ways. Firstly it implies you send the same application each time, which always turns off an employer. Secondly because you shouldn't feel your cv and cover letter are good enough until EVERY application is getting you to interview stage. Until that happens there is always something you can potentially improve

Well said - but I suspect he thinks he's too intelligent to listen to good advice.

@ HermoineE - You would know the attitudes of your potential employees as you don't get to know them before they work for you, what is it with you people that seem to think the employer is going to come round for dinner before I get an interview?

"
Make sure your cv and cover letter are tailored for every job you apply for. You say that an interview for a retail position proves they are ok which worries me two ways. Firstly it implies you send the same application each time, which always turns off an employer. Secondly because you shouldn't feel your cv and cover letter are good enough until EVERY application is getting you to interview stage. Until that happens there is always something you can potentially improve. " - Yes that is all done.

'there is very little respect in this forum' - honey, you're not earning it. Like many things, it doesn't come for free. You have had a lot of constructive criticism, at least one offer to look at your cv and at least two direct pointers towards places to look for work, so far. How about showing some respect?

If I volunteer I won't get paid, so that's not really useful at the moment

You just don't get it, do you?

Those workers work harder than any of you posting

How on earth do you know?

I am more intelligent than your average workie
I have no idea what you would define as a "workie", but you're almost certainly deluded in that, too.

It obviously isn't "all done" sufficiently well if you are getting no interview offers whatsoever.

And for the record, yes if you were my son I'd tell you to get off your entitled backside and take whatever job you could get. Life's tough, deal with it!

Attitude should hopefully be coming through on your cover letter. Several people have posted examples of a hardworking 'will do anything' attitude reaping rewards.

"if I can respond to you in such a well constructed manner, I am not supposed to be a manual labourer"

Your repsonses make you sound like an unemployable wanker!

My DH did labouring, bar work and care work in between is BSc and his Masters, he didn't find a lack of intelligent conversation on the sites, and being a pro-active "yes man" with a work ethic is what got his his posh professional job

(plus he had a choice of great references from the kinds of jobs you're turning your nose up at, which got him his dream job)

I'd definitely give the fast food another thought. Due to high staff turnover it can be relatively quick to progress through to a supervisor level if you've demonstrated the right skills and intelligence to your employers. Then ok the pay still won't be great, but you can start to access management experience, financial skills, even something you can dress up as project management experience if you're pushy. You won't enjoy it I'm sure, but long term it could help a lot.

You know what, I think the system is working in this case. It's Job Seeker's Allowance. With so many restrictions on what you're prepared to do, it would be ridiculous if you received it. You're not really available for work are you?
OP much as your attitude stinks, you're obviously not stupid- why are you not going to university? You could continue with your martial arts by doing a sports science, leisure management or teaching degree. Lots of elite sports people also join the forces as they are very accommodating of time off.

My son, who is applying to university next year, is currently walking the streets trying to get people signed up for insulation rather than be on JSA after over a year of trying to get a job. He's going out of the house at half eight at the morning and coming home at half eleven so that he's got a job rather than sign on.

This time next year he'll be at university hopefully.

May I enquire as to why you believe you are of above average intelligence?

A friends husband works in Ann Summers. Nowt wrong with that.

Get yourself to the Gyle. Plenty jobs going there. You can get the vacancies guide from customer service.

My husband has been laid off twice this year and applied for every job he could.

When I was ninteen, I worked at McDonalds. That is why I can now tell you that, at nineteen, you should possibly do the same!

It may be a low wage initially but it gives you:

• experience
• a chance to build up a track record of work willingness
• training

etc, etc

They are very good at spotting talent and training intelligent people up and moving them up quickly. Did you know their managers make £45k?

They are also very flexible hours-wise.

You do realise that you are effectively asking us as tax payers to fund your aversion to pubs, fast food, etc. Some of the people funding your JSA will be doing so at jobs you will not deign to consider doing yourself. Do you think that is fair?

One piddly course doesn't make you above the intelligence of the average labourer. I know building contractors, plumbers and so on who all earn a fortune and are bright with it.

You're judging too much - us, people in jobs you don't want to do.

It is very hard to find part time work. I know because I have looked for it as well. I have an excellent degree and years of work in respected industries, but it's a struggle to find an office job in my home town. But I keep looking and I apply for stuff that doesn't even seem 100% me on the job ad, because I tell myself it's worth finding out more at interview.

If you want money, just do the fast food job or what have you to pay for your hobby. You can leave it off your CV if you really want!

Oh and I don't look after children, I educate them in their early years.

The more i think about this thread the more i think its a troll.

if it really isn't take a step back and read through the comments as there was a lot of good advice to help especially from some of us who know what recruiters are looking for in this tough environment and trust me right now with your attitude and experience you don't stand a chance.

as for my child becoming a workie i would be over the moon as that is so much better than being like you. tbh if i lost my very well paid job i would have no qualms at becoming a cleaner, none at all.

I feel sorry for your son, it is very hard being unemployed at the moment and there isn't much out there and it is soul destoying looking for work and just getting rejected all the time and being made to feel like you are not good enough. I think the sanction for being late because of an accident is ridiculous and clearly not going to help teach your son anything about work life. In fact if this was a job and you'd come one here to ask if was unreasonable for your son to have got a disciplinary for being three minutes late to work because of an accident you would have got some different answers.
However he shouldn't have walked off the job placement. The person who told him he was being punished has an attitude that stinks but your son should have reported him higher up rather than putting himself in a poisition where his bad behaviour overshadows the one who behaved badly in the first place.
I think he needs to understand that whilst working in a charity shop may make it obvious he was unemployed, surely a blank gap on his CV is going to look even worse?
I think he just has to play the game unfortunately and keep his fingers crossed he doesn't have to do it for much longer.

Actually can't believe I've wasted precious time trying t help someone so ungrateful.

@Almostfifty " after over a year of trying to get a job." - So he WAS on JSA for a year, I've only been on it 3 months. Selling insulation? That's not really a job as it's commission only and he'll get turned away most places he goes. And he's not at uni? Still living with you perhaps is he? So he couldn't get work either then? I could get a commission based job in a second, I'm not doing that. And because JSA exists I am allowed to choose what jobs I want, you obviously don't know how JSA works, you have 3 areas which you have to apply for, only 3 and you are allowed to only apply for 3 fields. Learn the system before you start saying it's working, the DWP agrees with my restrictions!