Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

3. I will not do manual labouring as, quite frankly, if I can respond to you in such a well constructed manner, I am not supposed to be a manual labourer.

Trust me lad, those laborours are heads and shoulders above you!

"HeathRobinson Fri 09-Nov-12 19:52:55
' looking after children doesn't constitute employment'

ROFL!" - Do you think it does?

@Stuntgirl
This is not a bad attitude to work that you are talking about, you are talking about my attitude to the right-wing idiots on this forum.

What about call centre work? I did loads of this and it funded me through university and travelling. Warm office, tea on tap and is usually better paid than retail/bar work.

And it isn't all selling, there are lots of inbound call centres.

www.indeed.co.uk/Call-Centre-jobs-in-Edinburgh

www.indeed.co.uk/Call-Centre-jobs-in-Edinburgh

Nannies, nursery workers and childminders may hold a somewhat different opinion to you.

Some of you are talking about the army, would you let your kids join the army? Would you want your kids to be workies at the local construction site? I imagine not.

"Nannies, nursery workers and childminders may hold a somewhat different opinion to you." - HeathRobinson

Very well Heath, looking after YOUR OWN children does not constitute work.

Your bad attitude pervades throughout everything.

You will work anywhere - except pubs. And charity shops. And manual labour. And fast food places. Oh, and as long as it's within a certain mile radius. And doesn't take you too long to travel there. And is within certain hours. And allows you to focus on your hobby.

But you're not picky and entitled. Nope.

And what's wrong with doing a hard day's graft on a construction site?

Thank you @Ratherbeacyborg
Some call centre jobs can sometimes be okay, I have a very close friend who works in one that has only a zero hour contract and is lucky to get a couple of hundred pound a year from that job. Sometimes he goes months without work. But seriously, thank you for actually suggesting something real and not stupid, like the army. I do apply for call centre jobs but I have not had any replies from them.

TBH though work is work - you aren't what you do. If that makes sense. And taking a crappy job now doesn't mean you're committing to that as a career. Oh and please don't underestimate how highly-valued volunteer work is by potential employers.

I would let my dc join the army actually but then even at age 5 my dd is more mature, responsible and hard working than you!

If you're applying for jobs and not getting replies the quality of your applications may well need looking at. I note you haven't said anything about your CV, personal statement, or any support you've accessed with application technique.

Goodness Golden, you really are putting lots of lots of barriers up for yourself. With all due respect it isn't you who gets to decide if you are not supposed to be a manual labourer it is an elimiation process, if no one else wants you then you sometimes have to do something you don't want to do.

My brother lives in Edinburgh and he was in a simalar situation to you in as much as he wanted a part time job to help him fund his future. He never had any issues finding a job, he worked sorting out recycling, as a bin man, in a bar. Obviously he didn't wake up one day with a burning desire for to become a bin man but it gave him the money he needed to finish his masters in engineering and now he has an amazing job just a year after graduating and will be buying his first home at the start of next year. He isn't much older than you but the difference is that he is willing to do whatever it takes to get to where he wants. Our father is an alcoholic but that was not going to stop my brother working in a bar so he could follow his dreams.

As for not wanting to do work that doesn't pay you, why do you think you should be given money for free but you are not willing to give your time for free? Also why don't you want to travel? as you have said yourself you have have lots of time on your hands. You could read some books on politics.

In all honesty no, I'd rather they didn't join the army. For purely selfish reasons.
Anything else is fair game IMO.

But you aren't just crossing that off the list. No pubs,labouring,volunteer work to help your cv, fast food shops and probably countless other things you are sure you are too good for. You come across as entitled, aggressive if things don't go your way and a bit of a prick! Exactly the sort of person any employer would be keen to avoid.

I'm not saying this to get at you. I have no interest in baiting a stranger. but seriously,what do you expect......your dream job is not going to come knocking at the door. You need to lower your expectations and go for ANY job and look to work your way up.

Or of course you could stick childishly to stamping your foot. But that won't get you anywhere will it?

@StuntGirl - I never said I wouldn't work in a charity shop, if you paid me I would. Nothing against charity shops, I just have a lot against slave labour, which the programme is. I am picky, I said that I have to be - not everything in this world is easy. If you don't just want to grow up, go to uni and get a 9-5 job everyone thinks you're unrealistic. Well it's not, my instructor makes a lot of money, he is the 3rd line of Bruce Lee's instructors and makes a fortune. - If I gain an instructorship under him I will easy be making that sort of money in 10 years time. - I will probably start in about 7 years time. Now - when a law course at uni is 7 years, the timescale is roughly the same, and they get jobs to fund their future jobs so why is what I'm doing any different? Why should I want anything less than the best for myself? You may be happy to settle for a 9-5 existence, I am not.

Now, on to being entitled. Having worked in a Café for 2 years, not really - but I am more intelligent than your average workie. I've served these people for ages and they are all guys from the dole who moved into construction because it was all they could do; lift things and hammer nails. There's nothing wrong with what they do, but it's not a field that people with intelligence enter anymore, there was a day for that, it is not like that anymore. The ones at the top aren't unintelligent , the ones at the position I would be at are. You know from the conversation that we are having that I am not stupid and that I didn't get into college by being an idiot.

I seriously hope you don't get another penny out of the government. You don't deserve it at all!

oh dear "goldeneyedog" I can see now why you haven't found work .

My then 19 yr old daughter walked the streets of a shopping centre in the next town handing out CVs and managed to get very part time work in an "old lady" type clothing store (2 x 4hr slots a week). She worked hard and buttered up a lot of old dears and got good sales so did well and got more hours, she started paying me rent. She saved and then went traveling and came back (of course with a good reference from her previous job) and got another sales job by word of mouth. She did that for 6 months and traveled again. When she came back a relative of the last employer asked her to work for them in a new cafe they had opened - because they knew she was a hard worker and good with customers.

She is now early 20's. She doesn't want to do this for the rest of her life - but she now has 3 good references and lots of contacts - people are keen to employ her because she has the right attitude. She's never applied for a job, never been on benefits. I have fed and housed her when she has not been working and has been looking for work, she has paid towards the household when she has been working.

She also has one male friend who seem to have your attitude and she is banging her head against a brick wall trying to get him to see that he needs to get his finger out and walk the streets to find work like she did. She had one dud job that came to nothing along the way and was no fun to do but didn't last long (and they went bust in the end).

Your mother will make sure you don't starve or freeze to death and have a bed to sleep in - and that is a huge plus. Use your privileged position as a base to go out and actually find some work, no matter how small. Good luck, but honestly you do need to get real.

My BIL worked his way up from labouring work into an engineering apprenticeship and now a very senior management role on building sites. Currently he is being head hunted by teams in Dubai and Australia.

I could tell you similar stories of family members who started out at McDonalds, in supermarkets, in pubs and by volunteering.

No experience is beneath you. No job is beneath you. You need to dramatically shorten your list of things you won't do.

Again. I refer you to my point made previously. Work your way up. You have very low level qualifications, despite your self-perceived intelligence. If not, you will still be in this situation in 2, 5, 7 years. I cleaned hotel rooms when I had both an UG degree and a PhD, and 10 years work experience, because it was better than being unemployed, after I was made redundant. I also volunteered with an adult literacy project. That part was for my intellectual satisfaction. Just because something isn't your dream, 'forever' job, doesn't mean it won't be valuable in your life and experience.

I dunno, I think he's found his niche under his little bridge.

Quote:

well he just had his jobcentre appointment , to sign back on, and was approached by two people to say 'have you ever thought about joining the army'

WTF are the army recruiting in Job Centres these days

He's come home saying 'I might go in the army , they pay and I wouldn't be unemployed'

(End quote)

Your mother was the one that mentioned your having expressed an interest in joining the armed forces. Perhaps you ought to go and reassure her that you really are not at all keen on the idea...

Anyhow, who here wants a ?

So still no response about how you're addressing the quality of your applications.

And you come over as an appallingly entitled, arrogant snob. You think you're "intelligent" but obviously have little self awareness or understanding of how your attitude comes over.

And the clue is in the name: Jobseekers Allowance. It doesn't give you the right to handouts while you cherrypick what you'll do and won't do. Your stance is hugely insulting to the many people who would do anything to escape unemployment.

You've ruled out places that serve alcohol, charity shops, manual labour, fast food, and the army. Did I miss any? YES you are being too picky and too entitled. I've just shortlisted a round of applicants for just-above-entry-level positions in office work. Exactly the kind of thing you're interested in but with that attitude you would not have made my cut.

Any experience, no matter what, is a benefit to the cv at your age. Two years' experience is not enough to get you hired in a lot of cases, as you are sadly finding out. The job centre's attitude might be shit but take what they offer- it's only hurting you, not them, if you turn them down.

Make sure your cv and cover letter are tailored for every job you apply for. You say that an interview for a retail position proves they are ok which worries me two ways. Firstly it implies you send the same application each time, which always turns off an employer. Secondly because you shouldn't feel your cv and cover letter are good enough until EVERY application is getting you to interview stage. Until that happens there is always something you can potentially improve.

Good luck.