To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

My kids know that grown-ups take priority when it comes to seating if it's at a premium. I'd have expected mine to offer and if they hadn't I'd have told them to. Only one child needed to move -the little one who could have sat on her mum's knee.

I'm not ill, I'm not (that) old but I have a crappy old back and aching knees and standing for any length of time gets tiring.

YABU!! How is a child less important than you ?? How do you think that you have the right to get someone else's child to move from a seat when they were there first ?? If someone told my child to move .. Well they would think about it twice next time Thats for sure!! How rude and self absorbed are you !

BTW I (and my husband) will be teaching our children that it is polite to offer up their seats to adults etc (I used to love doing this as a child) but this is an offer which I hope they will make freely (and not necessary for them to do so if they are feeling in need of the seat) and not something I will be happy to see adults suggesting they are entitled to recieve from my children.

Can anyone explain why children have fewer rights than adults without giving a long winded story about what they expect their own children to do? And do you also think that women should be deferential to their husbands as that is also an old, senseless and outdated view.

Everyone should be treated as equals, whatever their age. And so the rule that should apply is first come, first served in most cases.

I forgot to say

YABU for ousting ANYONE just to make a point when you didn't really need to sit down

I am shocked some of you think a 2 yr old standing on a bus is a good thing. Free bus in my city is for under 5s I would not want any of mine having to stand up when under 5. And in london on the tube I would tell people to move if there wasn't room for my dc to sit. You must be stark raving bonkers if you think my under 5 is fine to fall over and hurt himself because you want to sit down and teach him some sort of respect lesson.

I did use too many twee "littles" in my post, but I stand by the gist. My 9 year old would also offer to stand and I would sit DD on my lap of needed. But comparing a 9 year old and a 4 year old is a bit dim IMO. As I said, my DC would move, but I wouldn't expect anyone else's to move for me.

At that age - I'd often be the one standing up rather than the DC. Sometimes its easier to have them sitting and behaving rather than getting under people's feet or seeing things they want.

I've done that on buses and trains though and then the person requesting the seat has complained it's me and not the DC standing. I've also had a last one person ignore other seats nearer entrance and make a bee line to sitting DCs and insist they move.

Now they are older I might make them stand rather than me- but I judge that not a stranger with issues.

I do think taking up all the seats in a busy pharmarcy is perhaps rude.

And yes, it's politeness and courtesy, rather than respect. I hold open doors for utter strangers, even before I know if they are nice and deserving of respect!

Respect - A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy - The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others.

Deep admiration for someone living longer than you? Really?

As a perfectly able-bodied 38 yo, why would you choose to spend 20-30 minutes (average when busy at my local) sitting in a pharmacy full of sick people? Couldn't you just wander up the street, buy a pint of milk, browse the charity shops, get some fresh air on a park bench or whatever instead?

What a waste of time, no wonder your pharmacy was so busy!

Brandy - I agree with you. In asking to it down for five minutes, the OP has literally strung one child from a tree and forced the other up a chimney. It's disgusting and I for one will be writing to my MP.

I don't see the problem

OP appears to have asked not demanded to sit down.

The mum/child could have simply said no, you'll have to stand.

The other lady however is rude, if she was that bothered about a child being asked to move, she could have given up her own seat.

If you don't ask you don't get.

Agreed, I am also in London and its madness for a 2 year old to stand on jolty, crowded public transport. DS always stands when needed and he gets thrown about a bit. I have never ever not been offered a seat to share with DD when not using the pushchair, it's impossible to even hold a toddler and hang on yourself.

'I don't think that asking a child to respect its elders is unreasonable. Firstly, in general, older people have more life experience and wisdom (sometimes). Secondly, children are reliant on adults to work, go out, stimulate economy, pay taxes that pay for child's school, pay bills - in comparison, a child isn't really contributing a great deal to society until they get older. I think it's about acknowledging that someone older (a teacher for example) has studied, worked hard, undertaken a lot of learning etc to be in the situation that they are in today and thus, it's right to acknowledge and respect this.'

Sorry, I think this is nonsense. By your logic, then people who earn the most money get to demand the seats of those on benefits?!

There are many people out there who don't think about having young unstable DC standing on buses - they are much more likely than older DC and adults to go flying and be hurt and thus delay everyone.

Can anyone explain why children have fewer rights than adults without giving a long winded story about what they expect their own children to do?

No - I've heard argument that they don't pay full faires - but that's not exclusive to them - OAPs spring to mind.

YABU you are young and healthy and they were there first. I would have not moved my children for a healthy young woman to rest her legs!

Holding doors open is entirely different.

If those had been my children they would have sat on my lap or stood. I was always expected to treat older people with respect and I brought up my DDs the same way. YANBU.

ROFL! I have missed this place!!!

So much indignation and froth. Nowhere quite like it.....

OP what would you have done if she'd said no to your request?

Do we know why the children weren't at school. Sorry if I missed that bit.

. Secondly, children are reliant on adults to work, go out, stimulate economy, pay taxes that pay for child's school, pay bills - in comparison, a child isn't really contributing a great deal to society until they get older. I think it's about acknowledging that someone older (a teacher for example) has studied, worked hard, undertaken a lot of learning etc to be in the situation that they are in today and thus, it's right to acknowledge and respect this.

What a load of utter bollocks. Truly the most ridiculous thing I have read here in an age. Wonderful!

But Orm, in your case it is fair to ask for the seat because you are the one with the crappy knees and bad back. Your needs take precendece over the normal first come first served rule.

This does not mean that it would be fair for me (with all my limbs in working order) to oust someone like dd (who has the crappy knees and bad back) out of her seat simply because of my right to respect as an adult.

Nor do I intend to go and find the OPs pharmacy to get her to give up her seat to me on the strength of my extra 10 years of life experience/contributions to society etc. I shall just sit here quietly glowing with superiority.

Personally I don't think this is an exclusive DC issue. I know some men who have 'hidden' or not immediately obvious conditions have others insist of their seats - and then have people who appear in good health or are younger feel its o.k. to be rude when told politely no.

There are some real twats about.