To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

[Sparklingbrook]

[RyleDup]

Hmmm, I think its a bit rude of you op tbh. Unless there was a physical reason why you needed that seat, then I think it was a bit entitled of you to ask for it. My 5 yr old gave up her seat a while ago (the only one in the shop) for an older lady who clearly could not stand for long. Dd sat on the floor and the lady apologised to her for having to take her seat. (dd was exhausted as she had been walking for hours). Being a child does not somehow make you a lesser citizen, and at least the lady had the manners to show this to her in her apology.

[AlienRefluxovermypoppy]

Sorry totally CBA to read whole thread, so will summise.

You are not elderly
You have no medical condition which means you can't stand.
you would stand and give others seat 'if needed'

So, it was all about the fact they didn't stand for you when you walked in?!!

Not showing you enough respect?
They were 2 and 4 ffs.

Get over yourself.

[Wallison]

These children are the Rosa Parks of the Boots world.

[perceptionreality]

CandyLoo - there is no confusion. You think you are superior to children and that their rights are trumped by yours.

I hope you rethink your position on this - it's not nice.

[FreePeaceSweet]

I'd say a mum with 2 young children takes priority over an old fashioned, haughty and perfectly healthy woman. I'd always sit one on my knee and get the other to stand by me and offer you a seat but not if you told my child to move so you could have it. You don't teach a child good manners by displaying bad manners.

[Tuttutitlookslikerain]

To the poster who said we were breeding monsters, my DS1(17) was the only person on the bus this morning to help the lady with her baby, toddler and pushchair, when she got on and again when she got off! I have bred polite, courteous young men actually!

[FreckledLeopard]

Hmm. I don't think YWBU. I probably wouldn't have asked to sit down, but I do think that children should be respectful/deferential towards adults. For example, if there's a narrow street/alleyway, I would expect DD to hang back and give way to an adult coming the other way. If she didn't, I would not be happy.

Similarly, at school, it was automatic for children to stand up politely as soon as any teacher or adult entered the room.

Nowadays, if I'm addressing a stranger that's older than me (for example, a man in a shop accidentally drops something and doesn't notice that he's done it), I'll say "excuse me, Sir, you appear to have dropped your wallet".

I think respect for your elders is a pretty good ethos (with exceptions, obviously).

[InNeedOfBrandy]

wallison children actually have lots of legislation protecting them. I feel it's sad they needed that like for instance child labour and working hours. So yes I can class that as the same as black people needing legislation for equal rights like children needed to be stopped forced up a chimney.

Also I actually think it's disgusting in England you can hit your child and that's legal but not in Scotland where least there gov recognised children needed the right not to be hit like adults.

[Jins]

I think you can display manners without respect coming into it.

My DSs have been brought up to know about good manners and in general I'm pretty proud of them and how they behave. At 4 and 2 it was my responsibility though - not theirs.

Respect is something else.

[Ragwort]

Agree with Freckled - I bring up my child to show respect and courtesy towards older people and I would expect him to stand up for an adult in this situation. It makes me cross on buses when he does stand up for people and then they say something like 'oh no dear, you sit down' - I ended up practically having an argument with someone once over it .

I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to ask a child to move in the situation you describe but I would certainly be judging the mother .

[OwedToAutumn]

It isn't really up to you to teach someone else's children manners, particularly if the parent is there.

FWIW, I don't really see you were more entitled to the chair by dint of being a bit older. If you really needed the chair, fair enough, but just to make a point about manners?

Get a grip!

[perceptionreality]

'Similarly, at school, it was automatic for children to stand up politely as soon as any teacher or adult entered the room.'

So what? Why should everyone perpetuate out of date and unreasonable expectations of children? Can you explain the sense in it at all? Or the fairness of it?

[MrsClown1]

YANBU IMO. I am not saying that children are 2nd class citizens but they should be brought up to have respect for their elders in those situations. I recall my son (now 19) when he was around 9. We were sitting in a small doctors surgery that was full. A lady in her 5os came in, not looking particularly ill, and my son stood up and offered her his seat. She thanked him and commented to me that not many children would that these days. When I was little it was expected that children would do that. I never felt like a 2nd class citizen because of that I just knew that I was showing respect. Sadly, it has died off. I cant believe that posters disagree with you. Sadly, I dont get the same manners from children as my mother did when I was little. Even when children are rude alot of the time the parents back them up. Ask teachers in primary schools how much things have changed - and not for the better. I recall a friend of mine complaining to school because her son had been made to pick up litter on the school grounds as a punishment! She thought it was too harsh!

Both my children were expected to show respect to their elders and they have both grown up to be lovely young people, it has not done them any harm.

[InNeedOfBrandy]

Well when I was little we used to wait outside on the doorway of any shop while my mum went in, or in the car for safeway shopping. Hows that for manners...

[Jins]

My lads do exactly the same thing. They stand up and offer their seats. NOT out of respect, though out of courtesy.

Respect is not something that you deserve just through having more birthdays.

[MrsMelons]

You haven't clarified the situation - you have just confirmed that you were being rude and entitled!

[cory]

If I am in a pharmacy, I would always assume that anybody else in there may actually have something wrong with them; hence I wouldn't be ousting people from their seats unless I knew there was something wrong with me.

Of course, it would be nice to educate the whole world in MY RIGHTS TO RESPECT FOR ME, but it hardly seems worth taking the risk that you are causing pain and embarrassment to somebody else, however inferior in standing.

fwiw I haven't enjoyed the last 15 years of "but she doesn't look ill to me", which is what you get if you are foolish enough to give birth to a child with an invisible disorder. To some people, there seems to be something inherently implausible or even funny about the thought that a small child can be ill or in pain; as if that was reserved for us big, important people.

[MrsMelons]

BTW now my children are old enough they are taught to give their seats up etc but not at 2 years old FFS!

[FreckledLeopard]

perception - I don't think that asking a child to respect its elders is unreasonable. Firstly, in general, older people have more life experience and wisdom (sometimes). Secondly, children are reliant on adults to work, go out, stimulate economy, pay taxes that pay for child's school, pay bills - in comparison, a child isn't really contributing a great deal to society until they get older. I think it's about acknowledging that someone older (a teacher for example) has studied, worked hard, undertaken a lot of learning etc to be in the situation that they are in today and thus, it's right to acknowledge and respect this.

Also - when was life ever fair?! In some ways, that's an even more important lesson to learn!

[Pochemuchka]

Presumably if someone 10 years older than your spritely 38 years had come into the pharmacy you'd have sprung from your seat so they could sit down.

Respecting your elders.

[SarahBumBarer]

Sorry but I think YABU. If I go into town shopping often my DS gets tired. If we reach a point where we are waiting for something where seats are available and I choose to stand so that he can sit down for a rest then I would be quite cross if some random decided she wanted his seat. If he was jumping up and down and not really using the seat then fair enough.

I do think that on a bus etc a child receiving free travel should give up a seat for a full (or partial in the case of an OAP) fare paying passenger if required and see this as in implied condition of the free travel.

[Pochemuchka]

So now it's about your education and contribution to society that determines if you should get to sit down in a pharmacy freckled?

This thread is nuts.

[Fakebook]

But they would have been classed as naughty if they were running around the shop and not staying still. I think it's good manners they were sitting down. I think YABU. You're not ill or old and frail.

[whois]

If I needed to sit down, I'd ask the person who looked least like they needed it. [yes yes hidden disabilities yadda yadda] which would most likely be a child. A young kid can easily sit with mum, sit ok the floor, squash up onto a seat with sibling.

Luckily I don't think I have ever been in a position to need a seat so badly tho.

Often asked people to move up / move bags.