To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

On balance YABU - 2 yr olds and 4 yr olds can be hard work; if by dint of sitting down this kept them happy and quiescent I can see why their mother allowed it. Naturally they should stand for an elderly / frail / sick person ...but you're 38 and none of these

Yes pulling him onto my lap would also be an option. I guess I would not make him stand if I could have any option. Specially on moving London buses - I would rather he stays put. At drs I pull him on me.
Manners and entitlement walk a fine line...

i am v old, but i believe that children should give up their seats for adults, its a great time to teach them manners, what is going to happen when they are on the bus alone at say 12 to 14 and pregnant or old person gets on , they have not been shown that its manners to give up their seat so they just sit there? Its plain and simple manners which i am afraid seem to have gone out the window these days.

NO ONE IS SAYING NOT TO GIVE SEATS UP FOR OLD AND ILL PEOPLE.

Sorry for shouting, I am getting all bothered.

Time to give up.

Ahh bu hmc if the dc had been taught & raised to be seen & not heard then they wouldnt be hard work

Why is everyone so bothered about sitting down anyway?!

Being fit and healthy I would happily give up my seat to a young child or someone who needed it. Never would occur for me to have to sit down if I was only somewhere for a few minutes.

OP you were very rude.

If anyone can get my toddler to be seen and not heard, or sit on a fecking seat for that matter there is a big financial inducement.

Roundtoit I simply don't get why young kids should give up seats for adults?!

They have smaller legs and tire much more easily - hence the need for buggies/naps etc. Why does a fit healthy adult need to sit when only waiting 10 mins. Odd.

a week with me pickledfanjo i'll have her whipped in to shape!

That was a Joke by the way - but if you fancy a swap, your toddler for a hormonal teenager & an autistic 10 yr old

Me too Fanjo!!

Would be horrified if he was thrown out of his seat on the one occasion he chose to sit still though :)

its called "good manners". thats why children give up their seats. For old, pregnant and adult, who are they to judge who deserves their seat, EVERY adult does.

Mymate - little, 'pre-rational' children should be hard work ...if mine had been compliant cherubs at their age I would have worried that they would grow up to be horribly beige and characterless

completely agree roundtoit

Round I would totally disagree that I as a healthy 37 year old need the seat more than a 2 or 4 year old.

They are more vulnerable so they would deserve the seat more in my opinion.

mymatemax. thank you i cannot believe that is even an issue.

Roundtoit that is insane. An adult is no more deserving than a child. Respect shouldn't be by virtue of when you were born. Respect is something you earn by actions not by years on the planet.

Why is it good manners to give up a seat for someone who doesn't need it?

every adult deserves a seat above a child? No no no. NO no noNOO nono non.

its not about if the adult "needs" the seat is about teaching your child consideration for others.
That way the child isnt expected to make a judgement based on age/need it is just the norm for a child to offer the seat.

My DC's have been taught to give up seats for adults. It's what I was taught to do and I (and DH) see it as a basic politeness/respect thing. Yes, yes, I know they're not lesser citizens just on account of their age, but I don't think it should always boil down to rights and entitlements; it's just good manners. They will be adult one day, so they should, in theory, get their turn.

In that mother's situation, if I had really needed to have them both seated, they would have shared a chair or one would have sat on my knee. Having said that, I wouldn't have asked a child to move so I could have a seat, unless I needed it on medical grounds. I know that many parents see nothing wrong in what that mother did, and it just isn't worth the hassle.

I think any under 60/70 without a disability or debilitating medical condition who needs to sit down rather than stand for a few minutes needs to review their diet / exercise etc

It's not about respect. It's manners. Like please and thank you. Nothing more.

If someone budges their child onto their lap or tells them to stand then I think they are polite. If they don't, hmm not so much (note I judge the adult as being well mannered or not, not the child).

I spend a lot of time trying to teach my children to consider the needs of others and to consider how their actions might impact on others. I do not see how teaching them that all adults are superior to them fits together with that or makes any sense, or teaches them anything about mutual respect for that matter.

To my mind, this goes hand in hand with the 'don't answer back' school of thought - that children who question an adult about anything are rude. I don't mind my children questioning me about anything, because I don't see myself as superior to them.

roundtoit - at what age do you think a child should stop giving up their seat for others and start expecting younger people to give up theirs for them instead?

Roundtoit, I am old too. Maybe its an age thing. What a shame.

I've had many a nice conversation with a person who has sat next to me when i've lifted the dc on to my lap to make room

Well where is the consideration from the OP then?

Consideration is a two way street.