To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

I would expect healthy children to stand.

70s baby.

There is a huge difference someone asking for a seat because they are ill/disabled/elderly/pregnant/feeling a bit rough/ then someone asking because they are older and demand some sort of show of respect.

Pickled Arf at "Snark snark snark".

Made me laugh for some reason. :o

YABU
Totally how rude.

InNeed That's what I meant, you worded it much better.

narked I am a little older than the Op.

I agree with the OP.

I'm wondering if its a coincidence that since this new idea of children being just as important and entitled as adults to things like seats, we seem to have many many more badly behaved children.

Children stand up for adults. Didn't your mothers teach you right?

I would not have moved my child for you. You sound like the type of person I cant stand.

Virginia How would you know that the child you are telling to move doesn't have a hidden illness or has SEN?

Schro oh my god! Don't let one person put you off. That's a really serious thing! :(

If someone who looked fine to me, personally, asked if they could have my seat because they didn't feel well, I would get up. I know you can't see all illnesses. I wouldn't grill them on what was the matter before I got up. I faint sometimes,just because, I know when it's going to happen. I have asked a man if I could sit down. I presume I looked a lite off colour but nothing drastic. He let me without questioning it. And that was before I went paper white,hyperventilating with my eyes rolling around in my head.

OP on the other hand,was trying to teach very young children "to respect their elders" when actually it is not a matter of respect at all.

My nan who is 76 just said she wouldn't dream of asking a child to get up, if she felt she couldn't stand she would of asked the lady who was sat down. She also said she wonders why you would wait so long in a chemist why don't you browse or walk around the shops for 10 minutes.

60's Chances are I'd have made them stand. Definitely would have done for someone old or infirm.

But mine wouldn't have been standing out of respect. Oh no

Pigletmania when you say thermo, do you mean me?
If a stranger asked my DD to move for no discernible reason, she would think she was being told off and would be upset. As a pre schooler with an enquiring mind, she would want to talk about it and ask why it happened. She asks 'why' at the best of times (all the time) so I would expect her to ask why about this, because it makes no sense.
As you are being snarky about people with medical conditions not asking for a seat, I assume you don't have one? So please don't judge.
And I would try not to put myself in the scenario of collapsing in front of my DD. Unfortunately this has happened - not in a pharmacy. This is something that we are still working on her getting over. Thanks for your 'concern'.

Agree with those who say child should have given up seat, but at the same time, I would't have bothered asking them to unless I actually needed it.

I think the suggestion that a 2 year old should volunteer their seat for anyone is absolutely ludicrous. My DS (ok, not quite 2 but not far off) wouldn't having the faintest clue about manners, although he might well offer you a play with one of his cars before snatching it back.

I wouldn't expect children of 2 and 4 to give up their seats to adults without being told to by their parents, and I would expect that to be prompted either by the parent recognising someone as being more in need and offering the seat, or by someone asking for the seat (thus indicating their need for it).

70s baby.

I was taught that small children sit on their parent's knee or stand if adults don't have a seat. Just as if you were on a busy train with two smaller ones you'd fit the three of you onto two seats so someone else could sit down.

So if you have reserved and paid for 3 seats. One for you and two for your dc's...despite the fact you have paid,you should make your dc's stand?

What about on a plane? All the children stand? Really?

Alis I live in Glasgow, I would get grilled by most people here! :o And it's the "respect your elders" thing I have a problem with.

I would like someone to explain to me, why adults automatically deserve respect and should stand for an able bodied adult? What makes that good manners when there is no need and in fact, the child could be very tired?

InNeed My DGM used to believe children should stand, she now doesn't believe a child should stand for no reason. Same as me though, if she was asked politely she would gladly ask the child she was with to move because she would believe there is a reason.

I think it was fine to have asked the mum if you could sit,

it would have also been fine of her to refuse - why the big fuss over asking to sit down...

my kids stand up for adults (like VirginiaDare my thought would be it is only good manners, it is how I was raised and how I have raised my children)

but , then again, on the bus I will wait for another if there is standing room only - so I would not expect my children to stand - we would sacrifice time for safety and would expect others to do the same if they want to sit.

"I don't think they're second class citizens, just should be respectful to adults. "

But thwy weren't being disrespectful They were sitting minding their own business, not kicking you in the shins and calling you swear names.

My mum is similarly aged InNeed and would not ask or expect a child to get up. She always values being in good health as her mother was very ill all her life.

YABU - the mother and children were perfectly well mannered and willingly gave up a seat on request. Rude would have been telling you to remain standing.

Respect and courtesy are given to those deserving of them, not those demanding them.

YY Narked, me too. I don't have much issue with the children being expected to stand.

I'm having real issues with the OP thinking that these little pre-schoolers have bad manners or are rude. Read what OP says, it's aimed at the little ones.

I also have huge issues with the misuse of the word respect but I think I may have made that point a few times now

"Virginia How would you know that the child you are telling to move doesn't have a hidden illness or has SEN?"

I wouldn't. The chances are they don't. But I would then expect the mother to tell me that the child needs to sit, and I'd say fine.

And I'd ask, not tell actually I'd just stand and judge the rudeness