To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

Piglet My hip can dislocate from standing, I have Tachycardia as well and my heart rate spikes after being standing for a couple of minutes, my blood pressure drops at the same time as well. Still wouldn't ask for a seat.

Think it's a compassion thing. Plus, I have done it maybe once while I was pregnant as well, being hospitalised every couple of days from my heart rate and hips dislocating. You can't actually see any of the things I have so I got a growler and told no. Was humiliating enough to put me off ever asking again.

I was raised at a time when "stranger danger" was very much the topic to push in schools and still managed to know to respect my elders!

Oh dear OP. The mum obviously didn't notice how much in need of the seat you were. I mean having ones head firmly inserted in ones arse hole is surely a medical condition.

As a child I had a back condition which meant if I stood for more than a few minutes I was in pain. But of course I looked perfectly healthy. YABU how could you tell whether they needed to sit down or not. If you had a genuine need then fair enough but this is just pointless and petty.

Do you really mean respect Sirzy?

I'm fascinated by this as I was never taught to respect anyone unless they had done something to deserve it but to extend courtesy to others.

Sirzy It bloody confused me, so because of the "respect your elders" thing being pushed in every direction, I went with that instead of "stranger danger" and talked to everyone.

That's probably just me though, guess there is reasons for that so don't know if most others would see it from a different point of view.

Oh dear this kind of thread makes me feel even less like braving the outside world.

To the OP, by behaving like this you are making people even less likely to give up their / their children's seats for someone who genuinely needs to sit down.

To the people who've said they'd give up their seats to elderly or disabled people, that's great & positive generally, but to do this means you would make a value judgement on whether someone was disabled or not.

I've had to get a stick to signal that I'm disabled otherwise I find myself having to tell people all about my illness in order to sit down - I have no rights to privacy, people feel they are the judges & jury and I find it really upsetting.

I've also got one of those walking stick / chairs for when am going somewhere that I know people will be too unpleasant to give up their seats or just that I don't feel like sharing my personal health with anyone who asks.

I like the rare & lovely attitude of mutual respect & a belief that if you are sitting down, or have to ask to sit down, they must have a reason, whether it's visually discernible or not.

More fool you then Schro.

Look

I dont think that you have to have a big swathe of respect for everyone older than you.

As a rule having manners and respectful behaviour to everyone is the way to go.

You offer a seat to those in need, if its hard to tell and they ask give it gladly.

Someone going tsk tsk im 34 and you are 2 isnt one of those situations, but still, id give the seat as it would amuse me.

Pickled I think the problem is, I grew up with GPS. I wasn't really just taught to be courteus, it was "respect your elders.

2 different things I guess.

Schro, was referring you to saying how poorly you are but that you wouldn't ask for a seat. I would be horrified if I knew that while I was sitting you were standing feeling like that.

R E S P E C T

sleeps I wish I could of saw her face HA

Why does elders mean 38 for instance, a 38 yr old is older then me but not an elder if that makes sense. A 70 yr old is an elder IMO.

All those who wouldn't expect a healthy child to give up their seat for an adult, what decase were you born in?

decade

Look I was humiliated for asking once, doing that in public again, having everyone staring is not something I wish to repeat.

As DoubleLife Has already pointed out, in these situations people think they are judge and jury and I would prefer not to have to tell people on a crowed bus/shop what is wrong with me. Mainly because they look at me like they don't believe me.

Op were you the oldest person in the pharmacy? If not you should've given up your seat to someone older using your logic.

I think your were unnecessary asking a child to get up. Id get up for someone old or pregnant or disabled but I wouldn't get up just because a person was older than me. I would actually be fairly offended if I was offered a seat id think that the person thought I was pregnant.

To be honest Schro, after reading some of the responses on this thread I'm not surprised you got a bad response. You should just have to say that you feel poorly and could have a seat. That's enough. Sorry that happened to you, but you should try again.

Narked The 90's. But that wasn't what I was taught. I wouldn't expect them to give it up for a healthy adult but I agree that I wouldn't know if they were healthy or not.

If they were asked politely, I would think there was a reason the person needed the seat and immediately move my child. It's the people I see asking who seem so up themselves and arrogant that I have a problem with, those people just come across as feeling they deserve it more.

The people standing are in the queue, unless everyone had a numbered ticket? If not, then whoever is sitting is not in the queue at all? And you jumped the "sitting queue" anyway, as the people before you have priority. So you should have respectfully, asked if any of those infront of you wanted the seat before you monopolised it. IMO

Thats what I was taught. But I have rebelled!

I can see how tricky it is when you have something hidden you must feel like you cant be doing with asking, yet no one can know you need it.

Funny as you really do need it, and other people who don't are happy to huff and puff and demand one.

Maybe you need to practise getting your snark on.. snark snark snark.

I panic around people anyway so I wouldn't normally ask even if that hadn't happened.