To have complained to school for showing Schindler's List to yr 9's

[jjazz]

Just that really. Dont know which parts they showed but DD was awake at 11.15 last night -upset as the scenes were still in her head. She is sensitive but not over emotional imo. she was 13 at end of August so is a 'young' year nine although the film is a 15 so none of the group would have been that age.

edgerand minty where did I say they should be grateful? And yes we are bloody lucky that it's not something we had to experiance, it only happened 60 odd years ago

Casual anti-Semitism is on the rise amongst teenagers where I teach, so the more that can be done to show where this can end up the better.

I can't believe that people don't think they are 'lucky' and think it is an unreasonable view. You do realise that you are no different to the Jews killed, to the people in Africa starving, to the child born paralysed? You are not in some way more special or more worthy- you're just lucky. I remember this everyone I read a true story bout someone in difficult circumstances.

I'd be interested to know what it was about the film that upset the OP's DD, if it was specific scenes or if it was the "plot". If the latter I'm not sure how else you could teach the holocaust without upsetting her? And also, why you'd want to stop people being upset at the thought of the holocaust?

I don't think the OP's daughter is immature but I also don't think there is anything wrong with older children being upset by the horrific reality of the fates which have befallen people in the past.

yy dominodonkey
And education ought to be a 'birthright' but in fact is a privilege in today's world and always has been.
OP, your dd is fortunate to be getting her education, unpalatable though some of what we have to learn might be...

And it's ok to say it's every child's right to experiance a holocaust free life but that isn't the reality of 60 years ago and it's not the reality for many children now in other parts of the world

I watched Schindler's List for the first time when I was 23. I phoned my mum up afterwards to talk about it. Not because I was immature, but because talking about it helped me deal with the emotions it stirred up. It is an upsetting film, I know I cry at it every single time, and I don't cry easily! Needing to process something upsetting is totally normal!

Ghostship - I guess your children never come to you if they have a problem, you'd just tell them to go away and grow up. I find that quite sad.

It's not a 13 year olds fault the holocaust happened - or any other kid. History is important but I draw the line at brow beating.

Think we can lay off GhostShip now, we've all got the message.

I wonder though how many parents would say "no" to this if asked on the basis that they thought their child would be uncomfortable? There are things in life which we don't like doing or seeing, but it doesn't mean it's a bad idea to do it in order to learn from it. A lot of people could underestimate kids here. Better to think "Bloody hell I remember watching SL in school, that was pretty fucking harrowing", than "meh, yeah I read something about that".

The school could have suggested that the child watches the film at home if they choose. I would prefer that I think.
I can imagine 13 year olds all watching it together trying not to look upset in front of their mates.

Agree with sparkling. Then child could talk to parents at time and not feel the need to put a brave face on in front of classmates.

I've not seen the film, but do actually think that everyone should. DD and I watched The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, which upset both of us, which I thought was a very good thing. DD is 13 and in Year 9, and I would be glad if she saw SL at school. In fact, 15 cert or not, I'll see if I can borrow it next time dh is out.

My great great aunt wrote about her experiances during ww1, she was 12 and the eldest of 6 when she started looking after her younger siblings while her mum worked in a factory.

One day there was a fire in the factory and she spoke of how they all sat on the step outside the house waiting to see if their mum would come home. They'd already lost their dad.

My grandad remembers waiting at the train station for his dad to come home during ww2, he never made it as he was killed just before he was due to go home.

That's not to mention some of the things that happened to a patient I looked after in a concentration camp or one of the guys who was a prisoner of war for years.

So yes I feel lucky that i wasn't born at that time and didn't have to live through it and actually if I think about it I'm bloody grateful for that too!

Sometimes though there can be real power in a collective experience in school that gets kids talking. I read a class novel to yr 8 last year about the holocaust and to my horror began to get a bit tearful as I was reading it. The class were lovely about it, very interested, I explained that it was distressing when I think of my own dcs in that context. It started a big discussion. I was but it set the ball rolling at least!

I think I might struggle to watch SL and things like documentaries with real life clips of the concentration camps and the mass graves etc with my child, especially when they are young. It would be difficult but obviously they need to learn of this at some point.

We are orthodox jews and it is part of our history and shared experience to relate to the holocaust. Many jewish people in this country know at least one person in their family who died or was affected by the holocaust.

It is also in my view one of the darkest episodes in the history of mankind and all school children should be taught about it at the appropriate time to try and ensure that it never happens again.

What is the appropriate time? I would say 13 is about right. In our ( jewish ) schools the children generally know by last year of primary that there was a war in which a man called Hitler tried to wipe out the jews and that many of us died. They do not know at this age how and the details.

As they go into secondary school the subject is dealt with in various ways. We have a national day of mourning which although doesn't deal exclusively with the holocaust it is used to start introducing the subject in an age appropriate way from year 7. My dd1 came home in tears after the day in year 7 and simply couldn't understand why millions of children were killed simply because they were born jewish. She now ( at age 16) has a mature grasp of the subject and next year in the 6th form will go on a trip to auschwitz and similar places for one week.

It is a very intense time for the 6th formers and there is much preparatory work done before they go and counselling offered as many of the childrne will have had grandparents or other relatives who perished there therefore stirring up very painful memories at home. All the children who participate report coming home changed and more sobered and with very valuable lessons learnt. i understand that this programme is now actually offered to many schools and 17/18 year olds.

I faced the question that the OP did when my ds1 was about 11ish. On our national day of mourning he watched a film in our synagogue about the holocaust - I think it was boy in the striped pyjamas and wanted to know all about what happened and why and how etc. For eg I remember a scene with smoke coming from the chimneys and ds wanting to know what the smok,e was for. I personally felt he was too young at the time but he demanded to know and I ended up giving him a diluted abridged version which he did cope with.

it is a thorny subject as to when to introduce and how but one which I feel absolutely vital for our chidlren and youth to know.

"It's every child's right"? I mean seriously?

Off topic but I agree with food, shelter not being tortured etc is every child's right. If we see it as our children being lucky then it is OK for other children not to be lucky.

If we see it as a right then automatically that lack of luck becomes a child's rights being denied and something to be fought for.

Children should know what was and is wrong with the world.

This world is one of natural disasters, man-made disasters, genocide and war. That's just a fact. We need to raise our children to be grateful for the fact that they - by and large live free of these things. If we don't educate our children on what is and was wrong with the world, we'll breed a generation of people who take the status quo for granted. Children need the resilience to deal with horrible things and at the same time live, happy in the knowledge that they are blessed enough not to be affected by these things.

In 2011, I helped in the cleanup after the horrendous floods in Brisbane, Australia. To see people lose every item they own - destroyed by water and mud was heartbreaking. I believed then that my children needed to understand and empathise - we spoke to them in an age appropriate way about what this meant. We encouraged them to take up their civic responsibility by collecting clothes, toys and giving to the people most in need. We visited shelters - the children saw people who were crying and had lost everything - they were 4, 6 & 9 at the time. They are not damaged by this - they are better people for it.

By the age of 13, unless there are real underlying issues, I truly believe that a child should be able to process what happened in the Holocaust. There is nothing wrong with being upset about it - a totally normal reaction.

We can't shield our children. It's our responsibility to teach them resilience, empathy and most of all not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

I don't think feeling lucky that its not something I had to witness means it's ok that other children arnt so lucky.

If I were to say I'm lucky I've never been in a position where I can't afford to feed my dc, that doesn't mean I'm saying it's ok that other people are in that position.

Completely disagree that it's better to watch it at home. I think it's better to watch it with your peers so that you all have watched the same thing and can discuss it later.

I have a DS in Y9 and would have no problem at all if he had been shown SL. DH and I watched it in a big cinema when it came out. No one in the whole place ate their popcorn they'd bought or drank their Coke. You could have heard a pin drop throughout the whole film. I've seen it once. I don't need to see it again, but I do think it's a film that everyone should see at least once.

I think that, whereas when I was young we used to read about history, we didn't have all the distractions of XBox, PS, iPads, etc, or even late night/early morning TV. We were all used to reading quite a lot on the whole. I think using SL to teach history is no bad thing at all.

OP, YANBU to feel a bit upset for your DD, but YABVU to have complained to the school. Agree with the poster above talking about cottonwool kids. You cannot, and should not, protect your DC from everything.

I don't know, schools seem to be damned every way. Damned if they don't teach engaging lessons and damned if they do.

I think we need to be scared by it, it was an utterly terrifying, scary time in our history. How do you discuss it without upsetting someone? You can't.
I watched Schindlers List as an adult and it upset me. That's the whole point. We're supposed to sit up, take notice and be upset. At 13 she's old enough to be upset over this and talk it through with you.

YANBU
The film is rated 15 for a reason and I know adults who wouldn't want to watch it. It has got nothing to do with how mature your daughter is. My DD read the book (Schindlers Ark) when she was 14 but I wouldn't have thought it a good idea for her to see the movie then. She watched the movie at school aged 15 and found it extremely powerful and moving but she was glad she saw it. it is an excellent film.

The idea that DC's have to be shocked to be able to understand the atrocities of WW2 is ridiculous. I am stunned at some of the posts on this thread. Why does a DC (or an adult) have to see pictures of horrific events in order to understand or have compassion with them. I struggle to watch news reports on DC's experiencing famine or wars but it doesn't mean I have any less comprehension of the awful conditions that they live in.