to tell my 4 and half year old about Santa?

[MummyAbroad]

So my four and half year old just asked me if Santa is real or not. I was a bit surprised and stalled him by asking him what he thought. He said "yes!" and ran off, but I know I will get asked again later (he likes repetition!)

Last week I had to do a great deal of explaining that ghosts and dracula and all that other Halloween stuff wasnt real because it was making him scared at bedtime, and I have also been telling him that "fibbing" is naughty (as he has just started doing it) So why would I make up a great big lie about Santa? How am I going to explain the fact that I lied when he does find out?

I never believed in Santa myself as the first year I asked who he was my older sister told me it was all made up and he didnt exist.

Is it a big deal to believe in the "magic"? Can I just tell him the truth? Does anyone else?

my friends neice told her son that santa is only for rich people, he was 4.

I think that it so sad that she was so skint she couldnt even do a small stocking for him.

I will not have the fiction of santa in the house. I never believed and it was never something my parents did (mum is Polish and they just didn't have santa so it was never a conscious decision). The magic of Christmas - and it is still there - comes from the love that we share with each other at this time. Presents - these are given to each other in lieu of giving presents to Jesus. The magic comes from giving to one another.

If you want an atheist view of Christmas that doesn't include santa - the muppets Christmas carol is brilliant! especially the song sung by the ghost of Christmas present ('wherever you find love it feels like christmas').

For me the magic of Christmas has never gone - I still feel it in the same way and there is no disappointment of discovering santa doesn't exist.

okay getting ready for being pelted with rotten fruit!

I think a lot of the older "believers' don't want to acknowledge the truth. They will have heard rumours but they don't want to spoil the magic for themselves so unconsciously they disregard evidence that says he doesn't exist.

So you might say they choose to believe. Doesn't that tell you that you would be wrong to tell a 4 year old the truth?

The longer children can be kept innocent and believing in wonderful, magical things the better. Life very quickly becomes hum drum so why spoil something like Santa for them?

I believed in Santa until I was 12. I wasn't immature in the slightest either. I got completely flamed at school for it and so stopped although I still want to believe now. I dread the day my kids stop believing, that's when I know they're grown up

Kids won't stop believing and then think OMG my parents lied to me this whole time, right now i'm going to start lying constantly to them as pay back. Its usually something you grow out of unless some spoil sport ruins it anyway.

The fact he said yes with such enthusiasm shows he is enjoying it so why spoil that? There's plenty of time for realism later

TomsBentPinky that was a rather unhelpful post. I am fairly confident the OP was hoping for something a little more insightful and helpful than "you sicko". If you have nothing useful to say other than uninvited and unwarranted name calling I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself!

OP FWIW I believe in keeping the "magic" going as long as possible. However, I fully respect the decision to tell the truth when asked directly.

Ps I was never unhappy once I found out - no emotional scarring.

I've had the very same conversation with my dd aged 11 and ds aged 9 this week,I finally admitted there was no Santa,partly because I don't want them to look silly at school!

I think keep the magic alive as long as possible

I still get excited about santa and I've known he wasn't "real" since the age of 8! didn't mean my 9th or 10th christmases were any less exciting or magical!

I don't think that knowing that something is a story spoils the magic of that story at all! I know that ficiton books I read arent real and still enjoy them

So at 4 I guess I'd answer that Santa is like fairies, some people believe in them and some don't

"in lieu of giving presents to Jesus"

So its okay to lie to a child that there is a god?

But not a Father Christmas?

hmmmm interesting.

mouse I still want to believe too :)
Especially for my 9 year old self who bought the stocking presents for my sister and brother and me as my mum was too ill to do it :(

My ds1 is 4.10 and I will be keeping the magic alive for as long as possible!

I always answered with a question. No need to lie.

Well, who on earth gets all those presents round to everybody then?

Well, who do you think filled your stocking with goodies then?

Me and your dad? Well how would we have done that when you were so excited you were awake all night? Anyway we gave you your presents on Christmas day. You don't think we'd have bought you a stocking full as well do you?

YADBU

I mean why would you ruin the magic of Christmas for a 4 year old?

YABU You can't he will tell everyone at school. I'd be so mad if another child told one of mine Santa wasn't real at 4yrs old.

Plus at 4 you're only just getting into it. I'm so excited for my ds he's 4.7 and it'll be magic to see him Christmas morning

I'm a big believer that if they're old enough to ask then they're old enough to be told. However Willitbe's method worked well in holding off the direct question until they were about 7 or 8.

I did have friends who kept it going for longer using the 'if you don't believe Santa won't bring presents' argument. Not all but certainly some were distraught when they found out that their parents had been 'lying to them' - the children's words not mine.

Some people believe in God, some people don't. Some people believe in Santa, some people don't. I am atheist, ds believes in Santa. One day he won't, I'm sure. The two things are linked.

IMO

I think the other parents at school who believe in God will be more miffed if my child goes around saying that isn't true than Santa. Won't they? I know my BIL was pretty annoyed last Christmas when we refused to go along with their version of the Christmas story (in my house) to their kids. He can believe all he wants but I am not lying in my own house.

I have no idea. It is an intractable issue for me.

My 5 year old knows too, because she asked and I was always uncomfortable with the lie in the first place. I tell her it's still magical and we get to see lights and tell santa stories and watch films, but it's not real just a nice story and my conscience is well and truly clear.

If you really can't distinguish between lying and the magic of Santa / Tooth Fairy, then go ahead, spoil it for your 4 year old

My 13 yr old DD still believes in FC. She has SN. I feel that perhaps I should tell her, but at her (special) school, she isn't going to get teased for believing and she loves the whole thing so much.

She read a flyer at a garden centre in Ambleside the other day, about having breakfast with Santa, the date was her birthday (late Dec)... she pleaded with me to book it, but it said up to age 10. I wondered if I should ask them if they'd make an allowance.