to evict the person in my fanjo <LIGHTHEARTED>

[InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream]

This is my first AIBU thread ever so please be nice.

Worra has moved into my fanjo it seems uninvited.

May I evict her or do squatters rights include fanjos too?

This is a lighthearted thread. I do not wish to leave worra homeless.

Anyone offended by this thread may offer their fanjo to home worra

You need your minge to grow teeth and then you can chew her up and spit her out

Paint some parent and child parking spaces on your thighs and wait until she parks her car there without a child. Got her banged to rights. She will be so shamefaced that she will leave and hopefully not crawl up you arse

Look it's the OP's fault I'm in here!!

I was sitting on a bus minding everyone else's business, when Fanjo gets on with her £7 million Buggeryou-Buggerme deluxe luxury elite travel system.

The driver asked her to fold it - claiming the ferret was old enough to walk, and a terrible row ensued...which resulted in someone tutting. I think an eyebrow got raised too but that's yet to be confirmed.

The driver slammed his brakes on when the ferret bit him on the leg, and Fanjo sat down heavily on me. As the darkness fell, I assumed I'd been swallowed by a giant kebab. I screamed but no-one heard me and that's when I realised where I was

Still I can't complain. It's warm and spacious in here, but she needs to get rid of that wasps nest by the entrance.

I can hear buzzing every night.

Am I the only one slightly concerned at just how SP managed to not notice she had Worra up there in the first place? Not wanting to be rude about your fanjo or anything but if you didn't feel it, well, that's not Worra's fault surely?

worra have packed will be with you soon!

Oh I remember that now worra now I know when you broke in.

Still hasn't explained why you have stayed.

I did not notice as she is the queen of stealth

Exactly Squishy, if I didn't have to get the milkman to move his float, she would have had no idea.

Fairies I'll leave the porch light on

I didn't break in...you kidnapped me!

SP do some pelvic floor exercises and see what happens?

Giant kebab

I have some progesterone pesseries, they would flush anyone out the itchy buggers!

Oh, or the Mirena coil! Even if it doesn't poke her out, isn't it supposed to make your fanjoir smell like a man's arse? Desperate times require harsh measures...

Don't know about the Coil but these things are slimey funny smelling buggers. Noone would want to live with them, not that I can see my fanjo at the moment to check, could be a brass band up there. Or a whole family of pontipines

Do you think some garlic some make her leave? Heard its good for infections

I thought worra lived in AIBU not in someone's Fanjo.

She sneaked in uninvited and I wasn't alerted off her presence til another thread.

I've had spag bol with garlic for dinner...and home made garlic bread with garlic in it (secret ingredient)

What I really need is a loo. It's not outside is it?

1. mix a large gin and tonic
2. serve with swizzle stick, ice and slice
3. pop it just at the exit of your fanjo.

that should lure her out.

Haven't you furnished yet worra?

Good idea Edgar the only thing about that plan is will it bring other mnetters to my yard?

Fucking Nora sp have you got cooking facilities up there!

my yard never heard a fanjo called that! I got the my milkshake brings all the boys to my yard song in my head

pickled she must have sneaked them in. Unless she has camping equipment

It's almost furnished

I'm getting the Asda martyr mum to help put up the Christmas decorations too

Anyway, what's for tea love?

Oh I'm supposed to cook am I?

How about a pizza delivery?

No pebbly shit though worra it will fall out as I walk. Don't want to leave a trail for other squatters.

If you are getting pizza then tell the delivery guy to be quiet