To want to kill the next person who asks me when I am going to have another child?

[FantabulousFryingPan]

DS is two. I have been asked so often when I am going to have another one I could scream. Of course, it doesn't help that we've been trying for a year now and AF came today.

Why are people so bliddy rude/nosey/thoughtless/lacking in social skills? As if I'd tell them anyway.

I don't think iabu, though probably giving a death stare rather than actually killing them would be fairer.

Aaa argh!

I have. Been asked this since ds was 1 (and before IIRC) I suffered severe PND and everyone seems to think having another baby will cure me.

I got better, then stopped my medication because I felt better, then got gradually worse. Went off sick, restarted different meds, was really ill with side effects. As soon as the side effects wore off I went back to work, (phased return) 2 weeks after going back my manager told me that she didn't think I was quite well enough to be back, although I felt I was doing well. It was a massive kick in the guts and so bad for my self confidence.

However, my family still say "what you need is another baby", BUT I really don't think I could cope with a newborn constantly feeding, never sleeping ever again. Sorry

I got asked lots during our 15 years of ttc - I used to just launch into a tirade about how hard fertility treatment was - they soon changed the subject! But they are not trying to upset you really, they just think they are showing interest with small talk.

I got asked that very question by a family friend when DD was 2yo. Sadly, it was about a fortnight after my mc at 12wk - which came complete with haemorrage, emergency admission, chickenpox and then bloody pneumonia to top it all off

I waited twelve years before having ds2. I now get told I must be mad/asked if dp is ds1's "real father"

Ignore, you can't do right for doing wrong. It doesn't bother me at all.

People have been asking me this since ds 19 months was born. I have been known to blurt that I lost his brother when 20 weeks pg when ds was 6 months old.

Usually though I'll just say I'm not sure, I suppose some people are just making conversation. I do find it incredibly rude when people who know what happened ask though. Why would you ask something so personal when you know someone's been through something so awful.

Hope it happens for you soon op

This happened to me a lot when DS was about 2 years old. At the time it felt like I was being asked constantly. A lot of my friends were also falling pregnant with their second child at this time so I suppose to an extent I was an "odd one out."

DS is nearly 5 now and although I do still get asked occasionally, more so by family than acquaintances or strangers anymore, it happens a lot less as your child gets older.

'Next time they ask say it'll be a while yet as your DH keeps putting it in the wrong hole. Should shut them up for a while'

This is without doubt the best response, wish I'd thought of it while we were ttc dd2 (took four years). People are just rude/insensitive OP, try not to let them worry you.

moomins, I'm sorry

And bunnyjo

1 I have 3 kids.
2 My youngest is nearly 4 and I still haven't recovered from her birth.
3 We both nearly died during her delivery.
4 She weighed 11lb, had shoulder Dystocia and had her other hand by her head.
She got stuck and was trapped with her head hanging out of me for 15 minutes.
5 I had a crash team physically forcing her out by pushing down on my belly.
Eventually I was cut (which felt like boiling water being poured over my bits).
6 I had over 150 stitches.
7 Sex still hurts 4 years on.
8 I can feel a huge ravine where my scar is (I still haven't looked with a mirror ever since my GP gasped in horror - 2 years after the birth) oh and the itching is unbearable at times.
9 My pelvic floor is knackered and I have no shame in stockpiling the Tena ladies.
10 My next delivery would have to be a C-section and I don't heal well.

I just trot out the 10 facts whenever anyone asks if I'm having another and they never ask or speak to me again.

Yanbu!

I'm just really up front and say we can't have anymore! They soon shut up, unless they are really nosey and ask why, then I tell them and they feel worse

What also fucks me off enormously (as mother of a toddler) is that everyone has you on their pregnancy radar expecting an announcement any minute and looking disappointed when you explain no I just didn't fancy a drink or whatever. Sorry things are taking a while for you :(

yanbu it is SO rude.

Ohh yes and everyone looks for signs of a pregnancy...ill last week = pregnant. (nope - ill) Wearing loose clothes = pregnant. (nope - ate too much last night).

I find that replying with 'When hell freezes over' usually stops the nosey buggers curious souls in their tracks!

Seriously, I love my DD more than life itself but had a grotty pregnancy & horrible labour/delivery compounded by galloping PND. I also have an underactive and very erratic thyroid which could complicate matters.

Luckily neither DH or I ar particularly bothered about having another (and DD is absolutely horrified at the idea)!

Hope you get a BFP soon and can shut them up.

I get asked this sometimes. I say something like 'yes, we'd love another one but after TTC for 18mo and 2 MCs I don't think its going to happen'

I can talk about it, and hopefully if I point out how tactless it is to ask then they won't do it again and really upset someone else.

I did cry when someone at work asked if I was pg though... No, just fat following mc :(

Shaky I can't believe they tell you that you "need" another baby, knowing what a tough time you've had!! GRR.

It seems to be a rule that once you become pregnant, your body suddenly becomes everyones business. And it doesn't stop once you've HAD the baby, because they want to know when you're having the next one. Fucks me off.

Why not just politely say the truth? For me the truth is no, we don't want any more.

It doesn't bother me at all. Seems a fairly natural question to ask somebody with a small kid.

Of course its different if you're ttc but for anybody who has chosen to stop at one, two, whatever, just say so.

Sorry, that wasn't directed at you OP. Obviously you haven't chosen to stop. Good luck.

Because if you've just got the one and tell people that you don't want any more, you tend to get horrified looks and a list of reasons why you should.

Bloody people...

FreePeacesSeet you could be me! Our DS is 11 months and I've still yet to have sex too bloody painful.

People are asking me, already, when we're going to produce another dc, I tell them the next addition to our household will have four paws. I honestly couldn't hack another child, nor afford it, but that's not something I want all and sundry to know. Just fellow mners - not sure if you'd all come under the term sundry'?

It CAN be bloody annoying. I find if I ignore strangers' questions by just grimacing and looking away, they feel very embarassed like they have overstepped the mark, which they have. It might make them think twice.

My friends and family know we're stopping at one, although my grandmother had 9 dc so doesn't really understand me!!

I have 5 and frequently get told I 'should probably not have any more'.
My dc are massively spread out over 16 years and are very lovely children.
I've developed a brass neck.

Morris because people asking can't possibly know if a couple have decided to have one child, or if they are struggling and desperate for another baby.

Everybody just needs to mind their own...