to say to people I am not a girl, I am a woman.

[blueraincoat]

Just that really.

It really, really grates when people call me a girl. I am not a girl, I am a woman, I haven't been a girl for a while now. I just find it incredibly patronising. Whenever I say this people sigh or tell me I am being pedantic. Am I the only one this gets to?!

Oh to be called a girl! What I wouldn't give!

Those of you who aren't bothered by it, try replacing 'man' or 'gentleman' with 'boy' every time you open your mouth, and think about whether it sounds infantilising! Or do you imagine the men in question are simpering happily about how being called a boy is terribly flattering and means they look ten years younger than their age?

My father has a maddening habit of referring to any unmarried woman as a 'girl', despite all his daughters pointing out the problems with the assumption that only marriage makes a 'girl' a 'woman' - he calls a neighbour who must be at least eighty 'the girl Horgan'.

Woman is such an ugly word. I hate it. I'd much rather be a girl, or in fact just plain 'her' or 'she'.

Ah yes, 'woman' is so ugly. It fails to convey what a pretty ickle young thing I truly am.

I'm not a fan of being called a girl, I'm 30 so I'm nowhere near that definition anymore.

I'm old fashioned though, I got peed off when a nurse (who was already being damn right rude to me) who finally found out my name kept referring to me as my first name, rather than Ms X. She did it in a condescending manner, I find that those who are not friends or family generally will use your first name as a power thing to be patronising, but then as I say I feel we should still use Ms, Miss or Mr until we build up a relationship with someone.

Doesn't bother me...but that's perhaps because I use terms of endearment a lot, myself. I do however call the 8/9 year old girls in my class at school "ladies".
"Morning ladies"
"Morning Miss" ...I'm not a Miss, I'm a Mrs,and 48, but it goes with the territory.

It's a cultural norm, that reinforces an infantalising view of women though isn't it. People who use it aren't being intentionally sexist, so it's hard to be annoyed with them personally. But it should be challenged.

I think it depends on the context - at one end of the scale, in a work situation I would challenge it. At the other end of the scale if a female friend said it in a social context it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

I am with you, definitely a context thing

I don't like being addressed as 'miss' when a man my age would be called 'sir'. I bloody hate it in fact.

Would you prefer "Madam"? Just interested.

Obviously those of you who object to "girl" haven't grown up, though, otherwise you might have more serious things to think about. I'm another one who hates the word "woman".

Bring on the patriotism!

Hmmm that was auto corrected from patronism which I guess isn't a word.
I guess those of you who are making sly digs about those of us who do object haven't thought very deeply about the issue.

How old are you Blue? If you are still in your early 20's and someone in their 60's called you that, you probably are a girl to them. I'm 34 and still get referred to as a girl by some people of a certain generation - doesn't really bother me tbh.

Depends on context really, my MIL refers to me as "a lovely girl" and it doesn't bother me in the least. It's a term of endearment for us.

When my DH came home with tales of goings on at work and repeatedly referred to the HR staff as "the HR girls or the lasses in HR" it raised my eyebrows so I mentioned it. He hadn't thought anything of it as everyone else does it, but when I asked him if he called female managers and senior staff girls or was it just females who worked in admin or "womanly" roles he was a bit sheepish and said no... female managers are "the lady who runs X department"

So in that context I did find it demeaning, as it diminished their role to that of something less worthy of the respect shown to women in managerial roles.

Generally speaking I couldn't care less.
It is to do with context.
If it is meant in a partonisiing , sneerery way then yes, I would object.
But in day to today conversation with my friends, colleagues etc no.

We call each other love, pet, mate, chick, etc.

However I laughed yesterday. My DS (16) needed to know the time something was going to be happening and put the on a group page on FB a comment saying 'Does anyone know the time we have to be in Bradford' Three women who I know are in their 30's and 40's replied and he said 'Cheers for that girls x' They replied 'no problem, chuck see you later' , 'should be a good afternoon pet' and 'no worries hun'
If he had posted his comment on MN he would have had his head ripped off!!!

I'm too old now to be a girl
I was described by a bus driver as 'that wifie' the other day, I could have wept.

It doesn't bother me in the least. Being called a 'woman' makes me feel like my mother.

I hate it. It's infantalising and underlining the idea that women are never really taken seriously or treated as fully human in the way men are.

My response is to fix with a steely glare, wait a beat, then sat "I'm not a girl, I'm a fully menstruating woman"

I find the mention the sort of person (usually men) who persist in using girl to describe adult humans are usually also the sort who get embarrassed and hot under the collar when you mention icky things like blood and reproduction. It shatters the illusion they have created and reminds them that women are not just tall babies to be patronised.

If he had posted his comment on MN he would have had his head ripped off!!!
bit of a difference between questioning and 'ripping someones head off'?

Nellyjob It was meant lightheartedly!!!!!