To put DC, aged 8 and 9, in Economy while I fly in Club with a 2yo and the nanny

[firemansamisnormansdad]

OK, so it wasn't actually me. But I boarded a flight from the USA yesterday and was shocked that this Mom did this to her own children. I have heard that people do this. Is there ever any real justification? My DH was sitting next to them and the little girl was getting quite scared at the turbulence. The Mom said that she would send the nanny down and swap places with DD during the flight, but she never did. I could never do this - I want my precious ones near me during a flight, especially an 8 hour one!

Leaving aside the safety issues already mentioned or whether or not the children were old enough to travel by themselves, I simply wouldn't do this, at all, to any member of my family. It wouldn't matter who I was travelling with, husband, sister, parents, grand parents, I would sit with them. It's plain rude not to.
And in any case I like my family and would actually want to be with my children and husband when we travel - I enjoy their company. I find it strange to think that some people don't.

And I don't think you can compare this to a child travelling unaccompanied - which is fine IMO if the child is happy to do so.

I'm surprised the airline allowed this. Two adults in the party, then there should be one in economy and one in club class.

Nanny and children in economy, parents in club = fine in my book. Indeed I have suggested it for long haul flights when I worked as a nanny.

OP, how do you know it even was their mum then (unless they called her that)? Could have been just a family friend who happened to travel on the same flight and just helped the kids to board?

I'd do this in a heartbeat - if I had the money. My kids would love it - no parents to make them switch the tv on.

Off rather ...

No UM is no different - if parents are in another country, they could fly over to pick the DC up themselves. But they selfishly want to save the money and let kids fly on their own.

hazel why would two children under the age of 10 go to Orlando for half term by themselves? And what are the odds that a family friend just "happened" to be on the same flight?

I've never bumped into anybody I know who was on the same flight as me. Has anyone else?

And if the kids were flying by themselves then they would have been accorded UM status and the cabin crew would have taken charge, not been dragged across the plane by Mom as was the case.

fireman, a lot of UMs are foreign service kids and yes, it often happens that if they fly back over holidays to see GPs for example, there is someone they know on the plane as well. Also they would not have the UM tags then, as they would be considered accompanied by an appointed person. Person does not have to sit next to them.

I have bumped into friends on a flight!

If the kids weren't being treated as UMs I am surprised the cabin staff allowed it.

I once flew back business while DH and kids were in Economy (it was bliss).

She sounds hideous.

I would be so fucked off to end up sat next to 8/9/10 year olds in economy when their own parent was up the front of the plane. There is definitely some kind of assumption that people in the seats around will look after them.

Flatbread - you said something about the DH. He wasn't on the plane, the kids were alone - not with their mother or the nanny.

Ali, I didn't say anything about that 'mum's' dh. We don't even know if she is married/divorced or anything. And now it seems we don't even know if they are her kids. Doesn't stop all the judging anyway

I was referring to OP's husband who was next to the children. OP never mentioned the kids being needy or demanding. And from her latest follow-up, it seems that the worst was one of the children falling asleep close to her husband. Hardly a crime. It could happen with another adult, an UM or a child where the parent is sitting across the aisle.

This is such a bizarre judgey thread. The 'mum' could have a business meeting the next day, she could be dropping off the children to school in UK and wanted to check if they can travel as UM safely. It could be anything.

Since the children didn't bother OP and her husband, why is she complaining?

I flew unaccompanied across the world at 10 and it was just fine. Depends on the child I think.

Flatbread I don't think that the OP is complaining but is genuinely perturbed (as I am) as to why any parent would do this.

Yes digweed, I don 't have an issue with UMs. A friend of mine emigrated to Canada and her own DD used to fly back and forth to see the GPs. In fact, she was in the air on her own during 9/11 and my friend was going frantic with worry. My issue is why Mom fcked off to Club, made an issue of fussing over kids with a face of anxiety but never actually came down to economy unless she had to. But judging from these posts, them's those that do and them's those that don't.

Flatbread You obviously fail to see the point the OP is making or that of most of the posters on here. Do you have children and if you do, how old are they? Or are that (step)mum who travelled separately?

Like NeverEnoughHours I wouldn't want to travel separately from my family. It just feels wrong. OH sometimes gets a better legroom seat further down the plane because he is very tall, but I still sit with DD.

Would where be any point in the children flying club? I genuinely don't know (haven't flown much - and certainly not in Club!). If the children are happy to sit alone and they're well behaved, I really don't see the problem in the parent restricting the £££ seats to those old enough to appreciate it.

Other possibilities - maybe the children had insisted on travelling away from the olds/the toddler. Maybe the mother called their bluff. Maybe she's a chancer who thought they might get an upgrade for the children. Maybe there weren't sufficient tickets for them all to travel in the same class. Or maybe she's a cow. We simply do not know - so I still don't understand the moral outrage upthread.

I am standing next to flatbread on this. Though have to admit I'm not entirely sure why the 2 year old and the nanny weren't down the back too. I'm sure the 8&9 year would be fine but am a bit suss about the integrity of the M/ SM in business.

I flew to Oz with my mum when I was 9 many years ago. For most of that long, long flight we sat separately and i loved it and doubt i was much hassle so not all kids would be scared or nervous at all. I've also flown budget flights where we couldn't get seats together as they refuse to board families and children first and we are left at the end to grab what seats you can. youngish children are then forced to sit alone unless folk are kind enough to move to allow a parent to sit beside their child so airlines obviously don't give a flying shit if kids are left to fend for themselves with no parent beside them. I would always try and be beside my kids though or for at least me or my husband to be. If the kids are older and well behaved then I don't know if there really is a problem with mum and dad flying business and the kids economy.

As long as there is no expectation that you are to help the kids, an the kids are well behaved then I don't see the problem.

Good way of preparing them for flying unaccompanied if they need to for school.

Also, children really really don't need the space that business class affords. Kids can sleep perfectly well in economy. Mum and baby on the other hand would find business class a big help.

Lots of cultures don't have this child centric can't possibly be parted for 5 mins thing that UK parents seem to have.

whois so you would be happy to allow your dcs to sit some considerable distance from them knowing that you would not be able to get to them in an emergency and knowing that none of the crew knew they were sitting without a family member? This has nothing to do with flying as an UM.

knowing that none of the crew knew they were sitting without a family member

The crew will know this. Like I said before, they will know this at the time of booking and check-in (in case it was a last minute upgrade). Some airlines charge an extra UM fee for a child where the adult is flying in a separate class.

I would hope you are right but the OP said the nanny would come and swap places with one of the dcs, but didn't so I'm not so sure.

We are very frequent flyers and have flown both up the front and down the back. There have been times when we have been separated although all in the same cabin. My children are v used to flying and are absolutely no trouble to either me, crew or other passengers around us.

But here's the dilemma: we are flying long haul at Xmas and for the first time ever we have seats in different cabins. DH and I in business whilst children aged 14 and 12 will be down the back. Won't bore you with the reasons why but whilst the kids are cool with this (although both have said they'd rather be in business - who wouldn't?) DH and I are a bit uneasy. We will probably end up all swapping seats around so there's an adult and child in each cabin and we all get to sit in business for one sector. Kids say there is no need for us to do this as they will be fine by themselves in economy.

Sorry to hijack thread bit would be interested to hear views of others.

Also for what it's worth, while the mother in OP's post does sound a little strange, it's perhaps a bit harsh to judge when we don't know the people/reasons/situation others are in.