To not understand why people tell kids that they will have no Christmas presents..

[MamaBear17]

if they are naughty? I remember my mum threatening my brother with this when we were little and it never worked. She never, ever cancelled Christmas, he knew she wouldn't and was still a little bugger! Surely all it teaches kids is that parents do not always mean what they say? Or has anyone on here actually made this threat and gone through with it?

because they're at the end of there tether.

Empty threats don't work though YANBU about that.

sadly I have made quite a few threats over the years that I haven't followed through on because it was too hard, too stressful, too tiring or whatever...My teenage boys are locely though and seem to have had no lasting damage from my ineptitude LOL

It can work in some instances - my parents used to tell us that Father Christmas would trip and break his leg if he tried to get into our bedrooms so we had to tidy them. Even when we knew there was no such person it still worked, as none of us wanted to take the chance!

i think that it shows bad parenting skills.

there are better ways to get your kids to behave than that.

*locely = lovely of course!

I know someone who did this (about 20 years ago). Her 3 children were being so naughty she left them letters from Santa on xmas morning saying they were on the naughty list. She gave them an annual because she felt a bit mean and said they have never cherished anything more. and it worked apparently, their behaviour improved.

She gave them the presents on their birthdays instead.

i will never forget my mum telling my sister that xmas would be cancelled because she stole a pound out of her purse. when we woke up on xmas day there was no tree no decorations and no presents to be seen because my sister had stolen a fiver to annoy my mum. we eventually got presents but not until my sister got seriously put through her paces...

...and she never stole money again

I think that is a very brave mum to follow through and I am not surprised that the behaviour improved. I;m weak, I couldn't do it; it would break my heart! Just overheard a lady in Tesco tell her little boy that 'Santa wont come if you are naughty' and it made me wonder.

It is very poor parenting-handing over to someone else as in 'the shop lady will tell you off'-no she won't -it is the parent's job.

I hate the way Santa is used as a bogey man to punish naughty children.

I cancelled a holiday a couple of years ago because my son kept misbehaving. We lost a couple of hundred pounds, but he'd had the warning so I had to go through with it. I don't know if it taught him a lesson, but it certainly taught me one. Now I make quantitative threats like, "You won't get so many presents at Christmas" rather than the full-on "You won't get anything at Christmas!"

"It is very poor parenting-handing over to someone else as in 'the shop lady will tell you off'-no she won't -it is the parent's job."

I don't think it does any harm to say 'look, that lady works here and she doesn't find your behaviour funny at all...' It works for my DD who has SN - she can't bear for strangers to be upset with her, but doesn't mind Mum so much

I would never do that, but I do tell my children that when the red light comes on the burglar alarm sensor, it means father Christmas is watching. It really works for calming them down!

I once told my son that father christmas was noting his behaviour. Son took matters into his own hands and made a rule for himself that every day he was good he'd get an extra pressie! Well that backfired on me then didn't it.

I still tell the kids now they will get a lump of coal if they are naughty...they are 17 and 15

My mums friend would wrap up a bricks and put them amongst the other presents. When the child opened the brick she would say that would have been a lovely present but father Xmas gave you that as you were naughty.
As a teenager I always thought it was tantamount to mental torture. Still shocks me now that I have children.

I tell DS that I will phone father christmas and tell him that DS is being naughty. Works a treat. I never have to threaten to cancel it or anything like that but DS gets a bit worried and behaves better

oh, my husband is a BUGGER for this!

He is forever saying something will happen or will not happen that he does not mean

It drives me bonkers. I say to him "do you actually mean that the holiday is cancelled?/ they are going to bed at 6? / they aren't having any treats ever again?/ etc?"

And he says no and I say well don't say it then. you look like a fool.

It makes me want to scream.

as does giving them a choice when he doesn't mean they have a choice!

Do you want to go to bed?
No
Go to bed.

[boggle]

DON'T GIVE THEM A CHOICE IF THEY DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ONE!

to answer your question I don't know either.

A girl in my street when I was little got a bag of rubbish Xmas morning cos she'd been so naughty, she got her presets later on....it was the talk of the street! Made us all totally buy into the naughty and nice list part of the Santa story!

My mum once told me father christmas wasn't coming because I'd been too naughty. When I woke up in the morning she came into my room and said, see, he hasn't been.
I spent the whole day sobbing. Eventually my dad asked me what was wrong and I said that father christmas had brought no presents. He then told me it was christmas eve, and christmas day was the next day. I overheard him telling my mum in the kitchen about why I was so upset, and she didn't tell him what she'd done. Not one word. She just came out of the kitchen looking very shifty.
Anyway, it didn't improve my behaviour at all.

Would never threaten to cancel Christmas as I do go through with any threats made. A few weekends ago my DC's were told to get their rooms tidied. DD came down smirking saying she had done it all. She hadn't of course. They were told that whatever wasn't tidied up by the Sunday teatime were going to be blacksacked and taken to the dump.......I filled 6 sacks in the end. And took them to the dump, with the kids in the car after school on the Monday.

Hecate my dh is the same. He makes threats ALL the time about holidays being cancelled or going to boarding school or getting no presents etc etc.

DRIVES ME NUTS

And I really don't think it improves their behaviour either.

I was once sent tobed on my party (I was about 7) because I wS cheeky.
I remember watching from my bedroom window as dad took everyone off to a big park to have fun.

InScotland children are sometimes told they will get coal rather than presents. I know of one who did. He had been sent out with a tenner to buy a Christmas tree but stole one from the church! They were staunch Catholics and probably had to do that to placate the priest.

I have blacksacked toys left out when clearing up before now but I would never dump them - I took them to the charity shop!