AIBU to want to go upstairs and throw bath water and onions at her?

[GeraldineAubergine]

The woman who lives in the flat above me is a strange one. She has knocked on my door several times to ask me for lunch wearing a skimpy nightgown, no bra, men's brogues and a smell of onions (strong). I don't know what she is doing upstairs ATM but it sounds like a gangs of pissed tap dancers having a knife fight in hobnail boots. I think it could be her son who is allowed to do whatever he wants (is a 'free spirit') according to her.
Also when she has a bath (in onion juice) water goes through the ceiling into my bath (yuk) so now I can't have a bath as I feel it's contaminated. She claims this isn't true, even though it patently is.
So seeing as her hideous noise is driving me to the very point of insanity would I be unreasonable to pelt her with Spanish onions and bath water till she desists?

She sounds a hoot!!

Is this the plot of a novel?

Report it.NOW!

I'd say it was the only sensible thing to do in this situation.

Marking my spot on thins one it sounds intriguing

You can't really pelt someone with bath water, unless you put it in some kind of container.

Will the onions be sliced? Diced? Or whole? And will the bath water be water you have bathed in, and therefore dirty?

Tripe goes well with onions

The woman who lives in the flat above me is a strange one

You have a real gift for understatement.

If her bath leaks into yours there must be a hole somewhere. Perhaps you could put a little camera in it (like the ones the doctors use to shove up bums) and see what she's doing.

If anyone asks, it wasn't my idea.

If you are not using the bath anyway, collect up all the onion infused water, add carrots, herbs, lamb etc, and make a giant stew.

Invite the neighbours round. People who wear brogues are generally fun- loving types. It'll be a great bonding thing, during these times of austerity.

Seriously WTAF

You need to commit the onion bathwater leakage to a hook in her brain for later download onto rice paper.

YANBU, but seriously, why not tell her you're booking a handyman to turn up and reseal her bath. That would be a start.

If its your flat get a builder in ASAP to sort the leak out. If you rent tell your landlord. Seriously, water damage fucked my parents house up because they left it unchecked for too long. Insurance will probably cover fixing it.

The onions are another issue. I'm stumped there.

YADNBU!

Throw a couple of leeks and spuds at her too!

The onion smell is obviously fresh BO. She probably doesn't wash her armpits.

Sorry, i'm so busy at the thought of her bathing in onion juice to read any further or be able to make any constructive advice

No need to get into a bhaji with her about it

blood I laughed more then I should at that

I am gutted that I threw away the coca cola and onion stock from my recnt foray into ham boiling, sounds like you coulda used it!

She sounds like a complete shallot'un.

Mulled oooooh lmao