To be absolutely terrified of moving DS to his big boy's room?

[pinkoyster]

Currently 31 weeks pregnant, with a 20 month old DS. DH and I wanted to keep the nursery as is for the new arrival (even though Dc2 won't be using it for several months as he will be sleeping in our room) and move DS1 into his big boy's room before the birth so that DS1 doesn't think he's being turfed out for his brother!

My main problem is I'm petrified about doing it! We got him a single bed with a bed guard, and have decorated his new room so it's lovely and bright which he loves. But I don't know how to make the transition. At the moment, I leave him in his cot and he self-settles and drops to sleep by himself. What should I do when I move him? If I stay till he falls asleep, I'm worried he will get used to me being there and then get upset in the middle of the night if he wakes up to find I'm not there.

I apologise cos this issue may seem trivial to some, but we have suffered with sleepless nights for so long that I don't want to do anything to 'rock the boat'. I'm totally chickening out about doing it, and have told DH we should delay until later. I don't want to leave it too long though, cos would have to contend with a newborn AND a toddler.

Any advice lovely MNetters??

Try him, you might well find he takes to it without a problem.

When I moved DS we did cuddles, a lot of couple of stories then tucked him in and he went off without a problem most nights. Infact it took him about 6 weeks to realise he could get out of bed!

Thanks Sirzy, I'm just wondering if whether he's too young at 20 months? How old was your DS before you moved him?

I would just do it and see how it goes.

I was worried about this sort of thing with DD1 when DD2 was small, but it was rarely a problem in reality. Afterwards, I would wonder what I was so worried about.

pre warn him in the day that he is sleeping in his big boy bedroom tonight then follow the exact same bedtime routine as usual

if you don't make it a big deal for him then he will most likely be fine

DS moved into his big boy room in his big boy, single bed at probably about the same stage as you (I have a 27 month age gap). I was also really worried about it, but we simply did his normal bedtime routine, but tucked him into his big boy bed instead of the cot, and he stayed there. A few weeks later, when he realised he was able to get out of bed now, we had 2 or 3 nights of him getting out of bed and sitting on the landing. The first couple of nights we just went upstairs and tucked him in again without making a fuss. The third night we didn't even realise he'd got out of bed until I went to check on him before I went to bed. He'd fallen asleep on the landing so I just picked him up and tucked him back in.

In my case, DD1 was 22 months when DD1 arrived and still in her cot. She'd been in her own room since about 8 months though. I was planning to keep DD1 in the cotbed for longer, but she started trying to climb out. So we took the sides off her cot then. She was about 2 at the time.

DD2 is 19 months now. I think she'd be happy enough in a big bed, though I'll keep her in the cot a while longer simply because she can't get out! :)

I think I have to bite the bullet and do it. To add to the problem, he only sleeps if I put him to bed, and kicks up a holy stink if DH does it...

Should I get DH to do it?

I think you should do it, keep everything as calm and normal as possible the first few nights. You can tackle the 'daddy' issue later.

Ahh... I have 13MO between my two and my advice would be move him before the baby comes!!

If you can make it 'normal' before the baby comes, it will be better, IMHO... Once the baby comes, he is going to want to cling to his 'routine' etc., as lots of things will change for him.

xx

I cannot thank you all enough. Lots of great points, and advice.

I will try and start it this weekend. Am going to start with night-time sleep rather than his midday nap..

DS1 was 22 months when he went into a proper bed. He was in the nursery before but DS2 was on the way. I didn't want to leave it too close to DS2 arriving as wanted it to seem like it wasn't due to the new baby.

We just settled him and on the frist couple of nights he got up at first similar to Edwins little one. After that he was fine and until he was 4 used to call out to ask if it was ok to get up.

He slept better than ever in a proper bed!

Whatever you do don't wait with him until he goes to sleep. If you want to then sit outside and just go in if he cries etc.

I do think you need to leave bedtimes to your DH at some point but not sure it will help by forcing the issue now. Best time to do it would be once he has settled in his new bed then just go out so there is no choice.

My 2 tips - act posiitive, whether you feel it or not. And buy character duvet cover that your child likes.

DH and I were v worried about moving DS1 to his own room. He was in his room at the old (safe) house, but since moving to a death trap renovation project we were all sleeping in one room with DS2 in our bed and DS1 in cotbed at foot of our double.

We decided we had to get DS2 into the cot so DS1 had to go into a big boy bed asap. Its in the "toy room" so lots of scope for getting out of bed to play. Lots of scope for roaming into the bathroom / up stairs unsupervised etc. We were also worried DS1 might be unsettled in a new house on his own. DH was bricking it, and I was a bit nervous too.

We blagged it. Wow, look, a new bed, with Raa Raa lion covers! Just for you DS1, not for your brother DS2. Isn't it great?

DS1 went in no bother, settled as normal and has not yet got out of bed in the night. hooray!

Good luck!