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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this is plenty enough for Christmas?

47 replies

lalaland30008 · 30/10/2012 16:27

So we've got ds present out of the way and got good deals on everything.

He's 4 and he's getting, Ben 10 rollerblades, Ben 10 scooter and a very good remote control car. All cost a grand total of £70 but as I say it was all on offer/bargains. Now I probably will pick up another few bits like maybe some more lego/books, and he will have a stocking, plus he will have presents from other people (my mums getting him portable DVD player and Ben 10 dvd set which is a big gift in itself imo), so all in all I think that's plenty, so much so that I was even considering keeping the scooter back for his birthday as he's already got one that's just getting a bit babyish. He's certainly not without toys I have a house full.

But I've mentioned to a few people what I've got and they've frowned and said "is that it?".

I think, he's 4 years old and if he starts to see huge piles of expensive gifts now what's he going to expect when he's a teenager? Also I never really had loads of presents when I was little and I think it's made me appreciate the value of things and look after the things I have now.

I know it's ultimately the parents decision and this is not a competitive 'what are you getting' thread, just genuinley wondering what the norm is these days.

OP posts:

somedayma · 30/10/2012 16:28

No that seems like a good amount! I don't have kids myself but that's more than I would expect to be given as a child

Whooooosualsuspect · 30/10/2012 16:31

The norm is whatever you want to do.

I don't think it follows that they will be expecting a Ferrari when they are teenagers if they have expensive stuff as children either.

HairySpidersInYourUnderwear · 30/10/2012 16:33

We do the 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read' so my kids would not be getting that much.

It sounds a good amount to me.

cleanandclothed · 30/10/2012 16:33

That seems plenty to me! DS is getting a bike, a few books and maybe some clothes from us, plus a stocking that will mainly have necessities in like underwear and toothpaste. He will have presents from relatives as well but I agree re not setting expectations too high!

BlackeyedPetitsPois · 30/10/2012 16:34

I agree with "the norm is whatever you want to do".

Everybody is different.

KellyElly · 30/10/2012 16:35

I think that's plenty! Some people must spend a fortune. I tend to shop around and get more for my money as well. This year I will be spending more than you but wouldn't usually - I'm getting her a strider bike so there are no bargins to be had on them really. Apart from that I'll probably get her a couple of DVDs cheap on Amazon and some bits for her stocking.

Ithinkitsjustme · 30/10/2012 16:36

Well it's more than I will be spending on my DC's (and they are 4, 11,13,14 and 19). It's no-one else's business what you spend, do what suits you and your own commitments and priorities.

KnockKnockPenny · 30/10/2012 16:36

Ive spent about about the same on my DS, but his is all made up of small gifts. I have had sinilar reactions, "whats his main present going to be?" when I think what he has already is enough!

Jusfloatingby · 30/10/2012 16:39

It sounds like loads to me. Some people just go OTT at Christmas and then put pressure on other parents to spend money they can't afford on Santa presents.

givemeaclue · 30/10/2012 16:53

Yanbu.

My 4 year old asked Santa for a pair of purple slippers last year!
You have got him loads, don't get sucked into competitive present buying.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/10/2012 16:59

If you had told me what you had got your DS I would have just said 'Oh that sounds lovely' and not thought anymore about it, so I find it strange others have made comments about it really - it's doesn't stand out to me as 'lacking' and frankly, unless you know someone has the money to buy more than they are buying and there's no good reason not to, then it's never polite to say 'Is that all?'. Sadly, some children will be fortunate if their parents can afford even one of those things for them this year, there are many people simply struggling to pay the bloody bills. Christmas doesn't have to be all about the presents either, you can put a lot of thought/effort in and make it a great family time without spending much at all.

However, you asked and so I've thought about it...

It sounds about right/not bad/fair enough when you list it like that, but if you think about what you have bought, I can sort of see why people might say 'Is that it?'

Chattymummyhere · 30/10/2012 16:59

I think that's fine. I tend to go OTT at Christmas on the kids. So far the boy (3yo) has around 20 presents.. The girl (1yo) has around 15.. Girls birthday is next month though so proper Christmas shopping wont start till December but as I said we got OTT and love seeing the huge piles

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/10/2012 17:00

... and if anyone made it through that, have a on me!!

aldiwhore · 30/10/2012 17:02

If you're happy, then YANBU. I admit I didn't read the entire list, because it doesn't matter and I have no interest in what other people buy their children - I mean that with absolutely no offence intended at all.

I will say that my children know that as you grow older the packages get smaller and more expensive. I try to spend roughly the same amount on each child, and have roughly have the same amount of gifts under the tree... this obviously means my eldest gets one cool gift and a pile of shite!! It's a difficult balancing act!!

aldiwhore · 30/10/2012 17:03

AND I apologise for the over use of ! I meant every one of them.

altinkum · 30/10/2012 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

lalaland30008 · 30/10/2012 17:18

chipping great answer and I agree it doesn't look like much to actually play with. Last year it was all proper toys, dinosaurs, truck, playhouse, trainset, etc. But he's got so many toys/games I was really struggling for ideas. He isn't surrounded by age inappropriate gadgets honestly! We've got lego, boardgames, garage, box full of toy car, dressing up things, jigsaws, dolls, play farm, craft things.

The blades, well, I wanted four wheeled skates, but was struggling to find any reasonably priced for his huge feet, these were such a good price I couldn't resist, but you might be right actually about keeping those back for his birthday. I think we'll have loads of fun Xmas day with the car in the park, it's good as in won't get stuck on the grass, can drive on snow, seemingly indestructable.

But you make good points, perhaps that's what people were thinking. If anyones got any good present ideas I'd be happy to hear them as I'm stuck.

OP posts:

Backtobedlam · 30/10/2012 17:44

I get mine what they need...so one year dc got a playhouse costing £600+, another year main present was a farm set for about £40. At 4yrs old he's not going to know the cost of things, or even think on it at all, if it's what he asked for then great. There's no point spending more just for the sake of it so you can say to yourself or others, we've spent x amount.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 30/10/2012 17:49

Mine would have only had one of those things so it seems tons to me! Just buy what feels right to you and what you know he wants/needs

Ragwort · 30/10/2012 17:55

Well, to me it sounds like a lot for a four year old - when our DS was 4 he got one toy ie: a remote control car as far as I can remember plus a stocking with smaller bits and pieces.

Every year I am amazed at the amount people here seem to spend on their children, and as far as I can tell the people I meet in RL don't spend those sorts of sums - but I would never, ever dream of commenting if someone told me what they were buying for their children (even if I secretly judged ).

Personally my family was never into 'the big pile of presents' with a mad rush to open them on Christmas morning so I guess that's the way I grew up and what's become the norm with my own child.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/10/2012 18:02

LaLa - I certainly wasn't implying he didn't have a million toys already - I know what it's like! :)

I just think that at 4, presents should still be toys as they grow out of that so quickly anyway - but it is hard when they already have so much, which is why I think several small toys that will give old toys a new lease on life are good. Sometimes a new car makes an old garage and box of cars come to life again or a new enormous tub of glue makes them enthusiastic about getting all the old craft stuff out, or just something 'random' that's fun.

Have you got a helmet for him?? I've seen 4 year olds on wheels!!

The car sounds like fun & fairly robust!! I only asked as often it ends up being a present for the adults in the family that the child is only allowed under supervision and isn't really 'theirs' as such!

Dotty Dinosaurs (Orchard games) basic but fun.
All aboard (I think that's what it's called - it's a bus game anyway! Orchard games as well). Fun & good for learning adding and subtracting.
As you have already said - lego.
A spiderman/batman/woody/ben10 - character of the moment
Transformer (basic one he can do himself rather than one you have to do)

It's hard to say without knowing him and what he already has (or what little he doesn't already have!! ).

moleskin · 30/10/2012 18:10

I got my dd2 loads off eBay this year as she's obsessed with barney the dinosaur and its rare you see that stuff in the shops now so her xmas pressies cost me a pittance! But she will loveeeee them!!
Dd1 has got a Wii but it is second hand in fab condition AMD cost next to nothing

shewhowines · 30/10/2012 18:13

IME kids like quantity over quality so i'd buy as few good things - as you have done and then some cheap and cheerful tat that they can unwrap, but you don't mind discarding sooner rather than later. Poundland is good for craft stuff/sticker books and bits and bobs. Clothes and things you'd buy anyway are also good for bulking out presents. I buy sets of books from the Book People and then individually wrap each book.

My kids had loads of presents when they were younger but I rarely spent more than you.

Teabagtights · 30/10/2012 18:14

I used to give my children the Argos catalogue tell them the budget and what they could choose out of it so they also got surprises.

By the age of 10 it was £200 for the 10 year old and £150 for the 5 year old, it increased over the years. They got nothing during the year barring new Xbox games that came out, and the Xbox when it came out.

And they had no family to buy for them, generally they got 10 things to open, no main present as such as two things could have cost the same.

I think at age four he has enough, my niece has a five year old and a 2 year old and she goes absolutely mental spending £500 or more on each. But they wear gold bracelets etc., chavtastic.

givemeaclue · 30/10/2012 18:17

Feel quite sad that five year olds are given the catalogue to pick a present

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