to be jealous of the young trendy mums at DC school?

[MoomieAndFreddie]

i live in an area renowned for its teen pregnancies where people have kids young

i had mine relatively young too, i was 26 and 29 respectively but this is old in my area.

and i feel like an absolute granny compared to the mums i see every day at school. i am at least 10 years older than most of them - am only 33 ffs! they are all so trendy and fresh and pretty and SKINNY damn them

they all have this identikit casual style... think long shiny hair thrown up into a messy bun, fresh subtle make up, skinny jeans, slouchy tops, but super groomed, with their immaculately turned out little DC in tow. some of them have like 3 or 4 DC and still look about 14 years old fgs. and did i mention they are ALL SO DAMN SKINNY

:(

Amuses!! Damnit autocorrect!

i was thinking about this the other day and my DD doesn't start school for 2 years [hblush]

i live in a fairly affluent area, and out of the 3 schools in the area, my DD will hopefully be going to the one that all the affluent kids go to (we are not as well off as any of the parents whose kids attend this school so will automatically stand out) not sure of the ages of these parents, but i'm assuming most of them will have put a career before having children young, so i will probably be one of the younger ones. (i'll be 29 and a half when DD starts school)

the things is i'm not thin! i'm fairly glam though, although i'd be a hell of alot more glam if my budget allowed. i've already decided i'll have to buy a new comfortable, yet stylish wardrobe for the school run. if all goes to plan though, i'll be about 3 months pregnant when DD starts school, so i'll probably just be fat & frumpy, sob!

awww peppermint i am sure you will look lovely! although if your 3 months pg you will probaby feel too sick to care anyway

A lot like me have kids young, look fab, win all the mums races because we are so young and fit then go on to have more children in their thirties. And then you're fecked.

Yes, yes, I was also wondering if welsh song singing vocalist in band with owl perched in car was cerys matthews...

Tell us recall!

OMG mosman please don't say that....at some point very soon me and DH are going to TTC, i will be at least 34 when (if we are lucky enough to be succesful) when potential baby is born

and am already shitting it about what pregnancy and baby no 3 in my 30's it will do to my body and looks to the point i am considering just sticking with 2 :(

omg exactly how shallow do i sound :(

I had one at 24, snapped straight back into a 8, wore jeans home from the hospital etc. ten years later I'm still a stone over weight and the baby is 2.5 (sob)

One of my prettiest, slimest, best dressed friends is really down on herself. She is constantly worried how she looks, paranoid everyone is talking about her etc. My point being that you can look amazing but still feel crap.

I sometimes jokingly moan about stuff, but I figure you just have to try to change anything that really bothers you or just ignore it. If I find myself getting a wee bit obsessed I look at the bigger picture. I thought you started off this post in a half jokey way, but the comment about basing whether or not to ttc because you are worried how you look makes me think you do feel quite crap? Are you placing too much value on how you look? You are a whole person, you are not just your looks. (fwiw I am sure you look lovely) What are you good at? What are your skills/passions?

YY to what Mosman said. My very dear friend had two kids at 19 and 22 and snapped back straight away. Her next two were at 36 and 38 and it's taken her a lot of work to shift the weight.

I was waiting at the school gates a couple of years ago when a new mum started to chatting to me. She said she was delighted to see a fellow younger mum as everyone seemed so much older. I was 40 that year (as was she)

Wow a lot of subtle prejudice on this thread! Some really bad stereotyping too - young mums are like Vicky pollard, surprised they can do subtle make up, bet they don't spend time cuddling their dc because they look nice, most of them aren't with the father etc etc.

Disgusting. I'm really to see such bullshit opinions on here.

I go to a young mums group, the minority are single. The majority are in long term committed relationships if not married. I know that one out of a group of 20 is in a council house, the rest privately rent or own their own home.
Some receive benefits to top up their rent as they're on a low income but that isn't exclusive to younger people. Anyone on a low wage is entitled to this.

Not all of us have swishy hair and are skinny. (me unfortunately being one of them!) some people look good regardless of age. There are older mothers who also look good.

This thread has made me that people judge me and they don't even know my circumstances.
(21, married, not a rush decision before anyone thinks oh they just got married because of dc - we've been together for 7 years. We own our own home, dh works full time and is training to be a mechanical engineer so will be paying lots in taxes in a few years as he'll then be chartered, we have dd 1 14 months, planned and dc 2 on the way also planned.)

We may have made different life choices to you but that does not make yours in any way superior.

I still wonder how people find the time to look fab on the school run. They must get up at 4am or something.

I don't have to do the school run any more after 8 years of it. I just drop DS1 at the bus stop and see nobody. Could do it in my PJs really.

I am always horribly embarrassed when I have to admit how old I am. We live in a village and I was in my teens when I had dc and the other parents were all in their forties. They are all really lovely but I still try to avoid mentioning how old I am.

I am the youngest at the school gates too but one of the least groomed/fashionably dressed. I hope I'm not being judged because I'm young.

I met one of my best friends at the school gates when our DSs started reception. She was ten years younger than me and looked fabulous.

That will be ten years ago next year. She still looks fabulous, and is still ten years older than me.

I am 26 with a 7yo DD. I am by far the youngest but all the parents at my DD school work full time so generally do not have time to worry about swishy hair etc me included. I think having a child has made me more confident and less concerned about looking "good" all the time it is too much effort! I do understand the OPs feelings though as it is easy to get sort of pressured by what everyone around you does. It depends on the school and the people!

I'm jealous of young mums only because I wish I'd had my children in my twenties!

I think it would have been good for me, and it's not like I achieved anything career wise during those years . I had DD when I was 30 and I'm so much happier being a SAHM than working full time, never bored/ clock watching etc . . wish I'd known that before!

(another vote for Cerys Matthews, tell us! )

You appear to be conflating youth and slimness - they do not necessary correlate.

I don't think young=skinny and older=chubby. I am older, but I am still thin. If you would prefer to be slimmer, diet & exercise. You can't turn back the clock, but you don't have to turn into a chub, either.

I'm youngish, fat and not trendy in the least. Dya wanna be friends Op?
Dreading the school gate more every time I open one of these threads... You'd think I'd learn!

LOL scented its honestly not that bad

perhaps i have to much time on my hands

yeah i'll be your friend, its funny, joking aside i actually have become friends with quite a few mums at school, theres some lovely ones, but none of them are the yummies i mentioned in my OP, purely because i am too in awe of them to actually talk to them

I used to be one!
everyone thought I was my ds's sister, I got talked down to by the teachers and the other mums, who I felt I had much more in common with, would do the judgey face at me. I wasn't that young either, 21 but looked probably about 14. I was skinny too....incredibly self-conscious to the point where I couldn't do the school run without smart clothes and makeup. I feel sorry for the 'me' I was then tbh.

Aww witchestit thats horrible :(

I wouldn't judge young mums like that, sounds like a snooty school. I am just jealous of some of them!

In my group of friends im the youngest at 21. The eldest is 41. I couldnt wish for a better group of friends. We're all different shapes and sizes and tbh with you, the older mums at DD's school are slimmer than me! They definately take better care of themselves, having their hair cut and dyed regularly, make up done to perfection. Then theres me and my ladies, hair brushed some days, make up on on a rare occassion, and often wearing baggy jumpers.

I wouldnt be jealous if i were you. It'll catch up on them eventually.

I was a young skinny trendy mum but having huge age gaps I'm now the older one some days I drop off in my pjs but on working days I'm still proud to say I feel fabulous I now have a short bob don't shop in top shop and have a wider arse but I now feel the mum who looks good for 45
Age is no barrier to style so pull yourself together woman

I have a ridiculously confident friend who describes herself as a "young mum" without irony. She is 42.