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Original poster

"Escape to the Country" (TV programme)

201 replies

janelikesjam · 30/10/2012 14:41

Annoying.

Need I say more?

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 31/10/2012 09:54

I watch 'em all. Can't help myself.

I remember a Relocation episode with a guy who worked at the tower of London and his wife. They wanted to buy a house in the country to retire to in a few years, and rent out in the meantime.

They found the most perfect house for them, it had everything they had wished for and more. The wife wept and said she could hardly believe such a perfect house existed.

They then decided not to buy it, as it was just so lovely, and they wouldn't want to rent it out to anybody else.

'Not good enough. We're looking for somewhere a bit less lovely than this'.

I've seen it all now :)

HGAFC · 31/10/2012 09:57

My absolute favourite episode of Locationx3 had to be the one where a couple who owned a, as I recall, helicopter business of some sort, had decided to buy a £1million home. I remember he wanted tennis courts. They clearly had no idea how little their money would buy them in the more rural areas of the south east and Kirsty spent the whole episode looking like she could cheerfully strangle the wife.

My favourite point was, as they were viewing a house that had literally everything they wanted and she turned to Kirsty and said 'It's just a shame it only has one access road to the house'.

Kirsty looked at her in silence like this Hmm

She then continued 'I just think we'd get bored always driving down the same road to get home...'

I swear to God Kirsty cast her eye around for something large and heavy to smack her with.

The Harrogate couple were hilarious too. Watch her wince every time her husband touched her. Quite clearly she just wanted him to go and shag his secretary and leave her the fuck alone with his credit cards.

HGAFC · 31/10/2012 09:58

Also has anyone noticed that Kirsty always seems, well, pissed as a fart in most episodes?

WishICouldBeLikeDavidWicks · 31/10/2012 09:58

It bugs me as these people are responsible for upping the cost of houses in rural areas so young local people (with children, dogs and the energy to run a small farm) are priced out and end up in social housing or living with their parents. Bitter? Me?

Shalloween · 31/10/2012 10:10

Why is it always the townie buying the house who is responsible for increasing the cost of houses in rural areas? Country people selling their houses to townies at over inflated prices is at least half the problem?

Nanny0gg · 31/10/2012 10:33

Wilding but now DIY SOS has the Big Build it's catching up!
(Though Nick Knowles is no Ty Pennington - thankfully!)

bigwombat · 31/10/2012 10:49

Some friends of dh were on Escape to the Country and actually bought the mystery house. They really wanted to be on Location Location because the husband fancied Kirsty Allsop, but ended up with Aled Jones instead!

sudaname · 31/10/2012 10:58

So the dh now lives with Aled Jones in the mystery house ? Shock

Jusfloatingby · 31/10/2012 10:59

The Harrogate couple were hilarious too. Watch her wince every time her husband touched her. Quite clearly she just wanted him to go and shag his secretary and leave her the fuck alone with his credit cards. Quote

Grin. Was she the one who cried because one house had a lovely apple tree? And then decided not to buy it?

sudaname · 31/10/2012 10:59

sorry - in a funny mood this morning , not had enough caffeine yet. Grin

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug · 31/10/2012 11:28

I really tried to persuade DH that we should go on Wanted Down Under because I've always wanted to go to New Zealand. I don't want to move there, I doubt we could actually afford to, but a free holiday would be good!

I love all the property programmes. Homes Under The Hammer is my favourite, especially when they go on about replacing the really old kitchen units, the very ones I have in my kitchen. They were obviously all the rage back in the early 90's, now horribly dated according to Martin and Lucy!

Wilding · 31/10/2012 11:36

I'll have to keep an eye out for that, Nanny0gg! My sister actually met Nick Knowles in a nightclub not too long ago, apparently he's a massive sleazebag Shock

GrendelsMum · 31/10/2012 12:10

DH and I adore Escape to the Country. Especially when the Mystery House has been carefully picked to be nothing like what they say they want. We play 'Escape' bingo too.

'Kitchen has to be the heart of the home, because we entertain our friends a lot'.

Why does no-one ever say the truth, which is that once you move to the country your friends can't be bothered to come to your house for a meal because they can't drink and then get home?

zukiecat · 31/10/2012 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrCoconut · 31/10/2012 14:52

Was always annoyed by the people who were shown round palatial homes set in landscaped gardens and priced at £750,000 or so and they moan about some feature that seems trivial - the fact that the "boxroom" that you could fit our street in needs papering or there is a road running half a mile away "right past the door". Really.

TheCrackFox · 31/10/2012 15:02

How old do you think that newly weds couple were? They looked mid twenties which makes me think WHERE THE HELL DO THEY GET THEIR MONEY FROM?

(the Georgian farmhouse was the nicest IMO)

Magrathea · 31/10/2012 15:06

ooohhh well if we are playing Property Porn Bingo -

"The Wow Factor"

I win

Twats

ProphetOfDoom · 31/10/2012 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 31/10/2012 15:21

Tyrian-J.

Sounds like a deadly bacteria.

rainonmyparade · 31/10/2012 15:54

It's quite a while ago now, but does anyone remember the episode where the couple wanted to lift all the grass in the garden and orchard and replace with astroturf. Watched that episode like Shock. Haven't seen it again - I'm sure my DH doesn't actually believe me.

reluctanttownie · 31/10/2012 16:29

I remember one where they'd found the perfect house, met all their criteria they'd gone back for about 4 viewings, the woman loved it so much and the husband vetoed it because it didn't have enough storage. I was staring in disbelief at this good sized house, with loads of blank walls screaming 'put some fitted cupboards in you f*ckwit!'. The wife was nearly crying on camera. I'd have thrown something at him.

Anyone remember a couple who were looking for an old country cottage but then dismissed one entirely on the basis that a beam over the bed was bad feng shui?

Ooh and the couple who wanted to move to Australia, get more for their money, live by the sea, have more family time etc etc, they were rich enough that the guy was going to work freelance part time but then they got so carried away with all the nice houses they got shown that they kept upping the budget and asking to see fancier and fancier places. They ended up buying somewhere for about a million pounds which meant he was actually going to have to get a full time job to afford it! Confused

Frontpaw · 31/10/2012 19:30

I sometimes like Grand Designs too.

Only when the people are super-lovely (like the man who owned an engineering firm - which ended up going under and he was in tears over his staff losing their jobs - and his lovely wife with their fab house with the wrought-iron work) or truly-dreadful (like the man and his fiance - the man who obviously was paying for the whole thing and kept rubbing her nose in it, saying 'my house' and making really stupid demands. Funnily enough, she had dumped him by the time it was built).

Jusfloatingby · 31/10/2012 21:28

I am always amused on Location Location when a couple want a house with 'character', K&P find them a beautiful old cottage, a lovingly renovated barn, a farmhouse, a period house... one more beautiful than the next and they keep going 'naah, the kitchen's too small' 'naah, there's too much noise from the road', 'naah, the bathroom's definitely a dealbreaker' and then go off and buy a totally bland modern semi d in an estate and Kirsty has to pretend to be really impressed and wow over it and tell them how 'sensible' they've been when you know she really wants to shake them by the scruff of the neck and scream 'why have you just wasted my time. And your house is horrible and boring and looks like you bought it from a catalogue' [big grin]

ariadneoliver · 31/10/2012 22:21

I love Escape to the Country, I can entertain my fantasy of a rural lifestyle for an hour without the inconvenience of actually living in the country.

edam · 31/10/2012 22:40

Escape to the Country is my guilty pleasure. I'm sure it is Not Good For You. But I'm incredibly nosy about houses and it's so much fun watching the mad buyers demanding a £1m house for a £500k budget (not that I have either, but it's nice to see people with more money than me still can't get what they want).