To not want to get up with the baby in the middle of the night

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

When I do a Late / Early?

Dd is 11mo and going through a phase of waking twice (on average) in the night and demanding milk. My late earlies see me get in the house at 11.30pm and back out the door at 7am. I have one, maximum two, of these a week.

Getting up to dd on these.nights feels ten times harder than on a normal night yet dh thinks I should do my fair share. We both work.ft (dh mon-fri 9-5), and generally share night wakings but I wish (and have asked previous) if he would do the night wakings on nights I do the late/early - offering to do all the night wakings on a different night so he can sleep through.

He even had a works nighr out the other night so dd and I had a sleepover at my.dms so he could get drunk and have a full nights sleep after.it (my suggestion).

If you're offering a fair swap of wake-ups I think you're entirely reasonable:)

Of course YANBU, if this happens twice a week why can't your DH do these and one or two other nights and you do the rest? What's his reasoning?

YA totally NBU

I also do shift work and DP gets up with the kids in the morning as I need as much sleep as I can get -for example I worked 7am to 4.30 at the weekend and am then in nightshift tomorrow.

He has to understand that you need to get your sleep otherwise you will be ill.

Also - have you tried giving water instead of milk when she wakes? We recently did this with DS and it worked really well and he sleeps through most nights now till about 5:30 / 6:00. Took a few nights but he soon realised was bit of water wasn't worth waking up for. He eats loads in the day and has a bottle before bed so he was not hungry, he had just got into the habit

Yanbu

However, your shifts are against European working time directive rules.

Where do you work? Dh is a police officer and has some hideous shifts but nothing as bad as that.

YANBU, I would have jumped at the chance for a full night's sleep by taking it in turns when ds was going through a similar thing.

Why does he think you should do it? Unless there's something you're not telling us, why would he make you do that one specific night feed when you're working late/early?

He's being a selfish arse. He has issues, if you can work out what his problem is then you can win him round.

Do you have a really long commute? Or are you self-employed? If not, sort your employer out, not your DH. You should be getting an 11 hour break between shifts

YANBU - I work shifts and when on days do 7.30-20.30, so regardless of whether DH is at work the next day or not (8.30-4ish) if I'm working the next day he gets up in the night. Are you in healthcare? My DH also pointed out to me when I felt guilty about the arrangement that if I'm exhausted I could literally kill someone.

Oh and I think the WTD works on averages - check this in case it's bollocks, but I think it has to be 11 hours between shifts on average.

However, your shifts are against European working time directive rules.

You can opt out. I did when I worked in hotels.
Yanbu.

In some social care contracts you have to opt out of working time directives and go 'with the needs of the business'. You can also be stung over your shifts when it is the start of a new working week.

You can opt out of working under 48 hours a week. You can't opt out of having 11 hours between shifts. Even if you want to.

The only slight difference is coach drivers, who then need different breaks.

I work in a private sector. There are no rules against times here and I often finish at midnight and back 8am. I also work 24 hr shifts sometimes

I work in a hotel so its on averages. Im also on day seven of a nine day stretch.