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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect not to be taunted by neighbours when I run up the street

141 replies

Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 21:16

I'm fat and I run.

I run for my health and because I enjoy it.

I am over 13 stone and a size 16 (down from 18 stone and size 24).

I now can run continuously for 2 hours covering 8.5 miles and I am proud of this and enjoy running :)

But I get a lot of negative comments from strangers, normally from young males who wind their windows down to shout comments at me as they drive past. Luckily I am hard of hearing so I miss the actual words screamed at me but it is clear from facial expressions and tones that the comments are negative...I ignore and keep on running.

A few weeks ago, new neighbours have taken on a house which needs a lot of building work done on it and hence are frequently outside the building and their young son has taken to pointing laughing and making various remarks about running and my weight, to and at me, which I ignore as he is a young child (around 8yo) and knows no better.

Then I 'met' his father, who joined in with his son and shouted so loudly across the road that I heard him clearly, despite my deafness/hard of hearing issues. He pretended to speak in the affections of a person with special needs and screamed 'Run Forest, Run' at me.

I crossed the road and asked him not to call me names in the street. He sneered and said he was only singing as I ran past and didn't get 'my fucking problem'. When I explained that I received enough comments from strangers and expected my new neighbours to be more courteous. His wife screamed from an upper store window, that I was 'fucking over reacting' and that I should 'expect comments when I run outside'.

Should I AIBU to expect neighbours to be polite to each other, not to mock them ?

I accept strangers might be nasty but is it acceptable to be pointed at, laughed at and name called on my door step....as I am fat and I run outside.

I may be old fashioned but I operate on the 'if you can't say anything nice, say nothing' policy and would never shout at strangers on the street.

Sigh, this won't stop me running but it just makes it harder for me to get out there. Why be nasty for no reason ?

OP posts:
TinyDancingHoofer · 28/10/2012 22:53

YANBU, but where on earth do you live? I live in an okayish/rough part of london but have never had a single comment. The odd horn beep and a few morning/evenings from posties/binmen etc. I really can't think why your neighbours are so mean, it's quite horrible.
Do ignore them and have fun running!

Longdistance · 28/10/2012 22:54

Two finger salute usually works Grin

But, well done you for losing that weight, and being able to run o far!

Original poster
Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 22:56

allthefun, I have never blocked anyone from using the pavements and will always stop or cross road etc, when I see another walker or parent with pram.

Plus I don't care if everyone is judging me, I just don't wish to have said judgement screamed at me in the street. My neighbours are free to snigger all they like in their own living room, as long as I don't have to see/listen to them.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 28/10/2012 22:56

Actually allthefun are you a reincarnation of that bitch OP theiinit or whatever it was called who judged fat people for having no self discipline?

Would you prefer it if posters had their BMI after their NN so that you could only engage with the slim chicks?

SoleSource · 28/10/2012 22:57

Get him beat up : he is a right cunt.

Well done!

Keep on running, never start hidingx

Peevish · 28/10/2012 22:57

Oh, OP - I feel such fellow feeling reading your post. I was also once a fattish, but actually pretty fit, runner, and I let the continual awful comments get to me and stopped running. I'm ashamed to say I found myself hesitating before going out the door in my running gear, and dreading any time I approached anyone. People said such cruel things I still remember them, and this was years ago.

Don't let them get to you - I wish I hadn't. Keep going for the rest of us who don't have your guts and perseverance.

Original poster
Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 22:58

I will continue to run and TBH I will draw a line under this situation and give the new neighbours the benefit of a doubt. They now know that I do not want comments made to/about me whilst I am running, lets see if they understand that.

If they refrain from making any further comments I will be happy and treat them as nicely as I treat my other neighbours.

If they continue to make comments then I know they are idiots with no social graces, I will still continue to run and I will completely blank them, or if I am feeling passive aggressive I might pretend to stiffen an occasional yawn as I sprint past. :)

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 28/10/2012 22:58

I don't think I've ever had a jogger/runner make me get out of the way. Courteously run around me, more like.

cardibach · 28/10/2012 23:00

I've recently lost 3 stone (though still a size 18) and taken up running. I'm doing a couch to 5K programme but can;t run as long/far as you yet. I live in a lovely rural area and haven;t encountered any negativity. WHat a bunch of twats! You keep going and ignore them.

allthefun · 28/10/2012 23:01

Bollocks. You all judge. That's why AIBU is so much fun.

Sidestepping into the road then puts drivers at risk of hitting you. Just do your own thing in own bloody space. Pavements are not gyms, nor are roads.

SoleSource · 28/10/2012 23:02

Just ignore tbem from now on, thsy happen to live next doorish and have already proved shat they are. Not worthy of your time or nice nature. Keep running, letting tbem see you haven't stopped will pee them off and no you do not have to expect to be verbally abused by twats when minding your own business. Give it time and they will upset others. X

MurderOfProse · 28/10/2012 23:02

Been there :-( Even when I wasn't overweight, I still had the comments.. just more of the "Run Forest Run" sort. I had people yell that I was killing my baby when I ran with my toddler with a jogging pushchair and she was sleeping because it sent her to sleep. Some of it was from people in my road too although they probably didn't know where I lived. I have to confess it did cause me to stop going out as often, and I changed my routes to a less pleasant one too.

People are just jealous, and probably a touch of guilt as well that they should be out there doing similar.

Go you for sticking with it! You've done amazing so far!

montysma1 · 28/10/2012 23:09

allthefun, do they have very narrow pavements where you live or are YOU very fat? Do you need a lot of pavement?
I have never forced anyone onto the road when running, never been forced, never been in collision with anyone either as a walker or runner. Stop stirring.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 28/10/2012 23:11

I really cannot believe that people can be so openly rude.

Had he been drinking?

hmc · 28/10/2012 23:11

Suggest everyone ignores allthefun who is clearly just goading and looking for a ruck - very childish....

Glad that you are not going to let other people put you off your running Babieseverywhere, you have unbelievably vile neighbours, hopefully you having confronted them will make them back off in future

NigellaTufnel · 28/10/2012 23:14

What other space? Allthe fun? We don't all live in the middle of the countryside/ near the park.

riskit4abiskit · 28/10/2012 23:23

Wish I could run for 15mins never mind 2 hours. Well done you and never mind them it says more about them than you

Cahoots · 28/10/2012 23:24

YANBU. You have just been unlucky in getting such hideous new neighbours.

I always admire anyone who run even if they are not super quick Smile

I think you should be proud of yourself

Loveweekends10 · 28/10/2012 23:27

Good for you for running. Keep it up. Don't let them get to you. What an awful example that father is setting for his child.
They are wasters. You are not. Keep at it girl.

JurassicFart · 29/10/2012 02:49

I am shocked at people who would shout at runners - why?! How fucking sad.

OP I'm another who is inspired by you, running 8.5 miles is amazing. Your neighbours are a pair of cunts and I feel sorry for that awful child.

Keep up the fantastic work.

wishiwasonholiday · 29/10/2012 02:54

Don't find somewhere else to run you are doing brilliantly, I'm a size 18 and 13 1/2 st and couldn't even run up the street!

Keep running down your street and just keep going if you see the idiot neighbours again, don't let them know you're bothered.

riveroise · 29/10/2012 05:48

Well done on your running and weight-loss, I'm very impressed.

Please don't stop running on your chavvy neighbours account.

If you are still feeling aggrieved, why not tell some of your other nicer neighbours, and people like the postman, about their behaviour. That'll learn'em!

OHforDUCKScake · 29/10/2012 06:06

OP they are wankers they really are.

But remember for every person shouting insults you'll get people thinking 'Good for you!'

I get envy when I see people run, I am lazy, I hate exercise and I dont have enough will power to get off my arse and get fit.

So, bloody good for you. I think every time I see someone out running.

BlogOnTheTyne · 29/10/2012 06:11

Perhaps the next time you're out running, take a recording device with you and when the neighbours heckle you, ask them to repeat what they're saying and say it louder because you've been told by the local police to take evidence of harassment against you?

After all, that's what it is, isn't it? If people were heckling you for other reasons, including racial prejudice, you'd have a very good case against them.

Meanwhile, well done for having the guts to stand up for yourself - and keep on running!

HappySeven · 29/10/2012 06:42

Babies, I'm really impressed by your attitude to weightloss and your change in lifestyle. Your park run PB is really good and you might like to do it from time to time (running different distances at different speeds helps to shake your training up and it can be a good way to measure your increasing fitness). I'd be tempted to suggest by the looks of them your neighbours could do with joining but they sound like rude ignorant people so stick to your plan and ignore them. They'll bore of it eventually.

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