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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect not to be taunted by neighbours when I run up the street

141 replies

Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 21:16

I'm fat and I run.

I run for my health and because I enjoy it.

I am over 13 stone and a size 16 (down from 18 stone and size 24).

I now can run continuously for 2 hours covering 8.5 miles and I am proud of this and enjoy running :)

But I get a lot of negative comments from strangers, normally from young males who wind their windows down to shout comments at me as they drive past. Luckily I am hard of hearing so I miss the actual words screamed at me but it is clear from facial expressions and tones that the comments are negative...I ignore and keep on running.

A few weeks ago, new neighbours have taken on a house which needs a lot of building work done on it and hence are frequently outside the building and their young son has taken to pointing laughing and making various remarks about running and my weight, to and at me, which I ignore as he is a young child (around 8yo) and knows no better.

Then I 'met' his father, who joined in with his son and shouted so loudly across the road that I heard him clearly, despite my deafness/hard of hearing issues. He pretended to speak in the affections of a person with special needs and screamed 'Run Forest, Run' at me.

I crossed the road and asked him not to call me names in the street. He sneered and said he was only singing as I ran past and didn't get 'my fucking problem'. When I explained that I received enough comments from strangers and expected my new neighbours to be more courteous. His wife screamed from an upper store window, that I was 'fucking over reacting' and that I should 'expect comments when I run outside'.

Should I AIBU to expect neighbours to be polite to each other, not to mock them ?

I accept strangers might be nasty but is it acceptable to be pointed at, laughed at and name called on my door step....as I am fat and I run outside.

I may be old fashioned but I operate on the 'if you can't say anything nice, say nothing' policy and would never shout at strangers on the street.

Sigh, this won't stop me running but it just makes it harder for me to get out there. Why be nasty for no reason ?

OP posts:
vixcyn · 28/10/2012 22:07

YANBU! Let them go fuck themselves. You get your run on, ignore them, and enjoy yourself.

BeingBooyhoo · 28/10/2012 22:09

firstly OP. well done for sticking with it and doing so well.

secondly, what you so the next time they shout is walk calmly over, stand at their wall and jsut look at them. not glare or give them evils. just look at them. they might continue taunting, they might tell you to fuck off, they might tell you to stop fucking staring, they might laugh at you but keep doing it and they will start to get paranoid that you know something they dont know and they will shut up. i' have done this and it works. they will get very self conscious and not enjoy being stared at for no apparent reason. tehy will lose their burst of confidence and will either just get bored of taunting you or will become so awkward they will turn away and pretend they have better things to be getting on with.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 28/10/2012 22:11

Some people are idiots. Why be complete and utter fuckwits ust because you can? It makes no sense and yet they still do it.
Normal people like me are a combination of really impressed and slightly insanely jealous :o

Hassled · 28/10/2012 22:12

I would die if I tried to run for 2 hours. There's just no way on God's earth I could begin to manage it. And I'm a size 10. So I'm in awe of your fitness and your determination - keep on running and ignore the total fuckwit muppets.

pigletmania · 28/10/2012 22:12

I would have looked at him and laughed and asked what about him? Good fr you for being assertive and standing up to those feckers

Sparklingbroomstick · 28/10/2012 22:14

If I could run for two hours I would have to make sure I did a circuit or I don't know where i may end up. Grin

DH says running is a mental thing. I think he means it's all in the mind once you start.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 28/10/2012 22:14

I always find it amusing when middle aged men with beer guts try to tell young, athletic, trained athletes at the peak of physical fitness what they're doing wrong when they kick a ball round a pitch, usually from the wrong side of a TV screen and accomapnied by belching. For some reason this thread has reminded me.

blobandsnail · 28/10/2012 22:15

I am too an overweight runner. My best advice would be to ignore them. Put some headphones on with some nice screw you type music and continue on your merry way.

People like this actually put me off the thought of running for such a long time. I used to go out at 6am before people were up or in the dark to avoid them. However I was shocked to find my local neighbourhood were the complete opposite of yours and as the months went on when I started running further and longer (and couldn't avoid people anymore) I found they'd actually been watching my progress and were amazingly supportive. I'd get a lot of "keep at it" "wow you've done so well!" comments and the local children running along with me. I also learnt for every idiot judging you there's 10 more out there wishing they were you or cheering you on. You may not see them but trust me they're there.

Oh and please do not let this put you off entering for events. Having done a fair few with proper running club type runners and thinking they'd be judging me for being so slow, they were actually the best support i've ever had and didn't care what shape or size I was or how slow I was, they just saw me as one of their own.

geegee888 · 28/10/2012 22:15

Its not you. I run and I'm not fat. I get the same. I've even had orange juice squirted at me out of a car window and a strange woman shouting at me for having a big bum (I don't).

I find either of the two tactics work well, depending on my mood:

(1) Run at the jeerer in a dogged manner, staring menacingly so they have to move out of the way. Keep running, don't look back.

(2) Run up to them, invading their personal space slightly, look them in the eye with head turned slightly to the side, maniac style, and shout loudly "waaaaaaaaahhhhhh".

Either way, they will think you are a nutter, and ignore you. If anyone chases you, start screaming, loudly and piercingly, as if terrified. Guarantee they won't do it again...

Sparklingbroomstick · 28/10/2012 22:16

But how do you do it blob? It's tooo hard. Sad I just can't run for any length of time without getting stitch or feeling like my lungs may explode. Sad

mluddy · 28/10/2012 22:18

I'm really inspired by you. I hope you don't stop running because of a few low lifes.

DoMeDon · 28/10/2012 22:19

geegee you have just made me laugh till I cried at that image in no2. "waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh" - brilliant Grin

OP- well done. I feel sorry for your neighbour's child- no wonder he's a treat.

BeingBooyhoo · 28/10/2012 22:23

oh yes geegee's ideas are brilliant. do them, they sound more fun than mine Grin

Original poster
Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 22:30

No, I won't stop running, I love it too much. Well not when I start running, but the middle bits fun...apart from the hills and when you finish the run, the sheer feeling of pride and achievement is worth it.

My husband has tomorrow off work and the first thing we discussed was when we could both fit in a long run, whilst the other one parents the little ones, I am pretty sure running is addictive ;)

I have done my local Parkrun, my PB is 39 minutes and 6 seconds for the 5K (3.12 mile run) but didn't like all the spectators, I prefer to run on my own.

OP posts:
corlan · 28/10/2012 22:31

Don't stop running because of the comments. I've been running for years and I'm so impressed that you can run for 2 hours - I've never got that good.

I would say make sure you are wearing a good running bra as there is nothing like the sight of a bouncing bosom to get your average apeman all excited and feel like he has to honk his horn or shout some stupid comment.

Your neighbours, unfortunately, are thick as shit and they are raising their child to be as thick as shit. There's a lot of it about!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 28/10/2012 22:31

Poor you, what a waste of space that whole family is, and what a shocking example to pass on to their 8 year old.

Fwiw you don't even have to run, just walking along in the past I've been shot at with a supersoaker out of the window of a car, and had hundreds of incidents of verbal abuse screamed from cars, because I'm committing the cardinal sin of walking home from shopping/work, whilst daring to be fat. And I'm talking proper "fucking kill yourself, you cunt" kind of abuse.

Thankfully I live in a much nicer area now so it doesn't usually happen.

Original poster
Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 22:32

So sorry GeeGee that you get name called too. :( Bastards.

Well, at least I can cross off the 'fat' bit of my complaint, it sounds like it is the actual running which is offensive to others, sigh...twats.

OP posts:
OldMumsy · 28/10/2012 22:35

Yay for you and they are total thick twats, that is all :-)

Original poster
Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 22:40

James , (((Hugs))). Not nice at all and totally uncalled for :(

Couple other running stories.

Last week a boy racer car swerved straight into the gutter next to me, into the centre of a massive puddle and raised enough water to drench me head to foot but as I was in the middle of my run and it was pouring with rain anyway, I didn't care. So I smiled and waved at the car. I figured either they did it on purpose and would be cross that I wasn't cross IYSWIM OR they didn't mean it in which case I didn't care.

Two weeks ago, I was running crawling up a steep hill and saw several burely well built builders working in front garden ahead of me. I gritted my teeth and prayed they wouldn't see me. One builder watched me run up to this house and as I passed said 'Keep on going, you are doing well. Don't stop now' In a really nice positive tone, I could of kissed him, really nice to hear a positive comment when I was bright red in the face and really struggling.

OP posts:
CaliforniaLeaving · 28/10/2012 22:40

Well done on the running Babieseverywhere. I'd love to be a runner.
I think you should heckle back.
Tell them you won't always be fat, but they will always be fuckin ugly/stupid/ignorant/twat/pick your own insult.
What the heck is wrong with people that they think it's OK to act this way towards a stranger?

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 28/10/2012 22:44

I want to be you.

I want to lose all that weight and go running.

Your neighbour is a sad twat. You can tell him I said that.

GreatGretzky · 28/10/2012 22:46

YANBU at all! They sound like utter twats. Well done for running so much, I couldn't run for 10 minutes let alone 2 hours!

BeingBooyhoo · 28/10/2012 22:47

"Your neighbour is a sad twat. You can tell him I said that. "

you should OP, he'll think you've been talking about him all over town Grin

allthefun · 28/10/2012 22:51

Actually I am bucking the the trend because I don't think the pavements are a bloody gym. I am fed up by the lycra wearing population running up and down thee pavements making everyone else have to get out of their way.
Run in fields, run in open spaces. Stay away from public WALKWAYS because it's bloody annoying.

And actually most people are judging you. Not that they admit it here.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 28/10/2012 22:53

allthefun - really, all the fun? Where?