People splitting the bill when going out for a meal

[ThePlEWhoLovedMe]

10 of us went out for a meal last night for a friends 30th Birthday. When the bill came people were really picking over the bill - I would have been happy to split it 9 ways . I get that some people are really skint and I understand that people who don't drink shouldn't be paying for the drinkers... but seriously people were picking over everything to the last 50p and one lady seemed to have forgotten the 2 bottles of wine she shared with two others. AIBU to be a little annoyed that they made such a fuss?

I remember being bullied into going to a birthday meal when I was very broke. I said that I had no money and that i would come because I wanted to spend time with the birthday girl but that I absolutely couldn't afford the bachanalian blow-out that usually ensued at these things.

I ate the very cheapest thing on the menu, and drank no alcohol.

I was then asked to pay an equal share of the meal, most of whos consumers had eaten the most expensive things in large quantities and had not stinted on their alcohol consumption.

I have never been out for a shared meal since.

My sil whipped out her phone calculator and priced up everyone's meal. Down to the .99 p plus 10% etc. I've not eaten out with her since. She also brings her own tea bags and own wine when she visits. And doesn't offer them....

Ah yes. I don't normally mind splitting bill even though I'm normally at the 'cheaper' end of the group. But often non-drinkers will completely forget about the cost of soft drinks.

" I'm embarrassed to tip below 10% unless service is crap. "

that's not really anything to do with me, it's your issue. i cover my food and pay whatever tip i consider necessary. you wouldn't be subsidising me at all.

Op was is all woman at the table?

I worked in catering for many years and never ever had this when it was a table of men only, a few times with couples and regular occurence with a woman only table - to the extent that if I had a woman only table I would ask if they wanted bill for each person with what they had eaten and drunken as I got fed up waiting over an hour one night whilst they fought over who was paying what and I wanted to go home After this the offer was never refused and we would produce up to twenty bills for a table of woman

I thinkit's unfair to split it equally but rather then get to anal, most people can roughly guess how much they need to put in. plus a tip.

Oh drcrab that would make me stabby :)

We almost always split the bill equally. Yes, sometimes people don't drink, sometimes someone has steak and others eat veggie etc etc but over the balance of time in our group we work on the theory it'll sort itself out.

I really despise eating out with people I don't know well though. Twice now we've been out with friends of friends and ended up subsidising their meal cost as they've left early and flung a random amount of money at us on their way out. The last time two couples did it and it ended up costing four of us £50 extra between us as we didn't want the birthday girl finding out. Ludicrous.

We always split the bill equally and it causes upset and resentment with the one friend we have who will not do this to the point where some people dp npt want to invite him out. if people have been drinking lots we ask for a separate drinks bill to split equally between the drinkers but otherwise it is always an even split.

catgirl yes. Hence why I don't like seeing her. She has a running tab with her dh too....

wowzers! not surprised you avoid her!

I always make it clear at the start of a meal, if not before that I'm not splitting the bill equally.

One example went our for friends birthday, I was pregnant (although no one knew) and ex p was driving so neither of us were drinking. We were spectacularly skint that month, we budgeted just over £20 between us iirc. When the bill came in, some other guests couldn't believe a wouldn't split equally as it was 'only £25 per person' we'd had only a (cheap) main course and 1 coke each. Others had had 3 courses with cocktails, shots etc. luckily the birthday girl backed us up! WE paid for our meal, plus our share of the tip.

Fair enough Booyhoo. But I'd feel I was, and I'd put the extra in. Perhaps both of us should check in the future what our party consider to be a reasonable tip.

I'm with you PrincessOfChina, I think I'll stick with eating with people I know well! Too stressful otherwise!

We had a friend who used to argue over 50p, we also used to have to drive round to find the cash points that gave out £5 notes, he once stole the £10 tip that a group of us had left and would always get in rounds, but never stick his hand in his own pocket. He no longer gets invited out anywhere.

That level of tightness is highly annoying.

On the other hand, I also hate subsidising people who knock themselves out on the filet mignon when I've had the sausage and mash

We tend to split the bill equally if we've all had roughly the same, if not, those who had more pay more. We generally work it out pretty fairly

It really isn't embarrasing or difficult to just pay for what you had. Its usually the people who over order and like having the advantage of their friends subsidising their meal/drinks who pretend that it is.

It hardly takes a maths degree to mentally add up your food and drinks and be able to come up with an approximate amount. No need to add it up to the penny - just round it up to an approximate amount and pay your share. Easy.

I hate this subject just for the resentment and arguments it could cause. YANBU to be annoyed at an argument over 50p for a friends birthday meal.

But the couple we went out with for Sushi, and ate about 10 (specially ordered expensive bowls not from the belt ) bowls each when DP and I had two each from the belt and wanted to split got a nasty shock when we called over the waiter and paid for our own.

Last night was embarrassing though .. with people only drinking one glass of wine out of a bottle (driving) and others drinking more .. it really went down to the last pennies !!

But why were you embarrassed? Who do you think cared? Were you worried about what the waiters thought? Who cares what they think?

YANBU - I am no longer friends with a mate who asked me for 20p when mithering over the bill. It's pathetic.

Cat had the rules down earlier. As for non-drinkers - your J2O cost same as my beer

We used to have a friend who made a huge deal about the fact she doesn't drink so her bill should be less. What she ignored was the fact she always had dessert while nobody else did. And she always ordered steak, which was way more expensive than the token vegetarian offering.

Everyone should pay for what they've had. It is much fairer than vegetarians paying extra for those who've had steak, or teetotallers paying for other people's cocktails.

I can't bear/bare (sp?) this calculating of the bill. People who insist on only pay their amount always forget their drinks or the service charge. I'd rather just divide the amount by the number of people - and I say this as someone who doesn't drink alcohol so is generally worse off.

The worst group for this is the school mums - always a couple who get pi$$ed and then don't want to pay a fair share, one mum who doesn't pay at all which means we're bickering over not having enough (and I know which one it is) and the latest scam is paying by credit card. Last time we had this conversation:

TightMum "The machine only says that there is £2 left to pay, do I just pay that?"
Me: "No, we agreed £x each"
TightMum: "But it only says £2, what should I do?"
Me: Pay the £x we agreed"
TightMum: "But it only says £2..."
Me: "Yes, because the rest of us have paid a tip which is to be paid to the waitress (who is stood behind you listening)".
TightMum: "So I have to pay the full £x?"
Me: "Yes, you tight-wad"

Ok, perhaps I didn't say the last bit.

Am thinking of suggesting next time that the card-payers pay first.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest - was cathartic!

I never understand why the idea of each working out what you've all spent is considered awkward or stingy. If I offer to pick stuff up from Tesco for people on my lunch break, I don't split the till receipt equally between everyone who I've picked up for.

Surely you pay for what you have, just like in any other situation?

I think splitting the bill equally, despite some people eating/drinking a lot more/less than others is really odd and I don't understand why it's done?

noseynoonoo & freddiefrog shocked that there are so many people who will take the tip or not put any money in! How can you have the shame! I'd be less ashamed to say I have the runs/something worse and can't come out to eat than to do that! Awful people!