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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being really precious about this (Christmas related)

97 replies

azazello · 26/10/2012 21:20

We are supposed to be spending Christmas with my parents this year and my siblings and their partners and children were also coming over for a couple of days. Mum has been getting very excited and planning meals, decorations etc and getting the children excited too.

I spoke to mum yesterday and she said that my sister and her partner had asked if they could invite a former colleague of BIL's over for Christmas as his family live a lOng way away and otherwise he would be on his own. The friend lives in Spain so would be coming for the week. Mum has said that's fine.

None of the rest of us have met thIs friend / colleague (inc parents) and I am feeling a bit upset that none of the rest if us were asked before a complete stranger was invited for the whole holiday. It also rather changes things because we and the children will all have to be dressed etc!

Am I being really selfish and precious (as u suspect) or would we be reasonable to follow DH's suggestion and head over to PILs who would be beyond thrilled.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/10/2012 22:01

But you said yourself you have no idea how much English the guy speaks so why worry? Confused

If he feels able to attend then why not assume he at least knows enough to get by.

Chubfuddler · 26/10/2012 22:01

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caganer

Original poster
azazello · 26/10/2012 22:02

If he could bring a film of that, DS would be completely won over Grin. It would be even better than the donkey at last year's crib service.

OP posts:
squoosh · 26/10/2012 22:04

Argentinians are hot.

It may not be so bad after all Wink

Original poster
azazello · 26/10/2012 22:04

Married. Grin. Might warn SILs though.

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 26/10/2012 22:05

Had a look at the Caganer...it looks like a wee gnome!

I don't think it will catch on here Grin

fluffypillow · 26/10/2012 22:08

azazello, I don't think YABU. I would feel the same. I like to feel relaxed around the people I spend Christmas with, and I wouldn't feel relaxed around a stranger, especially when my children were there.

Maybe I lack Christmas spirit, oh well.

MsVestibule · 26/10/2012 22:09

How many people on this thread would be offended if they were kindly invited to spend Christmas with a family and they wore PJ's in the morning whilst opening their presents/playing with the kids?

Er, it's Christmas morning, Worra, not a time for wanton pj wearing Hmm. When I invite you and your family for Christmas, I expect a cocktail dress and four lots of black tie by 7.30am.

honeytea · 26/10/2012 22:09

www.barcelonayellow.com/bcn-events-articles/165-christmas-in-barcelona shitting man. My catalan friend was telling us about it, different christmas traditions are so interesting! my dutch friend was saying that father christmas steals the children and takes them back to spain if they have been naughty (maybe to live with the shitting man?)

Even if he speaks no english you can play sharards (sp)

Also another plus point, he will be able to take a family photo of all 15 of you without you having to work out the self timer on the camera (clutching at straws,,)

Everlong · 26/10/2012 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maillotjaune · 26/10/2012 22:20

Good to see you've said YABU so I will just add that as a child both my GPs and later parents lived inviting people on Christmas "so they won't have to spend it alone". Once we had 2 people from a local nursing home who Dad used to drive to church just so they didn't have to spend Christmas there (was quite grim as they were the only 2 residents who could converse).

DSis and I loved it, random strangers who were more polite when we started showingoff singing and the grown ups get to feel they've done something goodGrin

He might even be able to teach you the Argentine tango!

DorsetKnob · 26/10/2012 22:22

You will be amazed about how much english he will pick up in a week.

WorraLiberty · 26/10/2012 22:27

MsVestibule I wonder if there's such a thing as a cocktail dress/suit onesie? [hgrin]

porridgewithalmondmilk · 26/10/2012 22:30

I've had to spend Christmas on my own in the past and it's really hard. Please be kind.

MsVestibule · 26/10/2012 22:36

Worra Definite gap in the market. I'm imagining my black and red floral silk LK Bennett dress (bought in the sale, of course) being made into a onesie.

I'd look proper lush, deffo.

mluddy · 26/10/2012 22:38

The best xmas we had as dc was when three strangers came. They were hilarious. I think it definitely added to the day. They weren't there a week though.

Hollygolightley · 26/10/2012 22:41

stalk him on facebook and see what he looks like first he might be a bit of a antonio banderas .

Original poster
azazello · 26/10/2012 22:42

I'll have a look and see if I can fine onesies for everyone. It would do as part of Christmas presents.

Perhaps they could be themed...

Porridge - the only options were 1) go and be nice 2) send profuse apologies and go to Pils.

As we would be VU to do 2, 1 it will be.

OP posts:
musicalendorphins · 27/10/2012 09:58

The poor guy would have been alone on Christmas. I am sure he may feel somewhat awkward and probably rather honoured to be invited to share in a family Christmas.

GhostShip · 27/10/2012 12:28

Oh get a grip and drop the 'oh he'll be nakedz' point. Youre only mentioning that to try and back your point up. And
'Of course I can organise a 3 year old to get dressed by lunchtime. I do it every day. Except Christmas because he likes being naked and nobody minds'

So it really isnt a problem then is it? He's 3, he wont know the difference of being clothed on christmas day for once.

ZombieArmsDragOnTheFloor · 27/10/2012 12:34

So, basically, you are calling this man you have never met a paeodophile?

Ephiny · 27/10/2012 12:40

YABU, your parents can invite whoever they like to their own house.

It's not his fault, or their fault, if you can't dress your child. Having to be naked on Christmas Day is a slightly...unusual tradition anyway, I don't think you can really expect the rest of the family to pander to that.

EarnestDullard · 27/10/2012 12:44

I can sort of see where you're coming from OP; I'm quite shy around strangers and my family are some of the few people I feel completely comfortable with. Having someone I didn't know there on Christmas day would change the dynamic a lot.

But I'd also realise, as I'm sure you do, that it's lovely of your family to invite this man into their home so that he's not alone on Christmas day. So you'll suck it up, and you'll survive. It might even be really great. After all, Christmas should be about being kind, even to strangers :)

Ephiny · 27/10/2012 12:45

Yes I can understand you maybe not liking the idea, I am a bit awkward with strangers. But the point is it's not all about you.

OddBoots · 27/10/2012 12:52

Maybe I'm uptight but I would want yo be fully dressed when in the company of any of my brother-in-laws so them having a friend there too would make no difference.

For your ds it doesn't have to be a onesie, how about a fancy dress costume in line with his interests?