...to find the whole baby stage generally just a bit...well.....shit?

[bblue]

For sure there are some wonderful bits, like the big grins, but it seems to me to be overwhelmingly mind-numbingly tedious. Lots of crying, lots of not sleeping (for everyone), wearing the same 3 revolting tops in rotation (breastfeeding) and constantly covered in baby sick. I have got an older child too, and while they have their own challenges(!) it definitely gets more interesting. A friend calls it the "baby conspiracy" - i.e. that you'll rarely hear a bad word about having a tiny baby (that's not immediately tempered by "but oh my god they're so worth it, wouldn't change it for the world") but surely it's not just me (and my friend?!). Or is it?

YANBU.

Babies are cunts.

yanbu.

The 3/4 month old patch was ok, ie; before the faff of weaning and crawling kicked in. But, generally, yes it was a PITA and I just got through it. And my DC's slept through from 3 months, but I still didn't enjoy it. Now my DC's are 4 & 5 they are much harder work but at least they are little people who never shut up I can talk with.

at tethersend.
You should go and speak to teenage girls ....great contraceptive.

YANBU.

I am still just working this out in my sleep-befuddled brain. I think I have found it hard to comprehend that I haven't enjoyed the baby bit - maybe because of comments like witches and my own general expectations - I always wanted kids and I've always been maternal.

My youngest is now 15 months and I'm only just really getting what people are on about when they talk about not wanting to leave them with other people to go to work/miss out on time with their children. I have been pregnant and or bfing for nearly 4 years, and HAD NO SLEEP for about as long. I have been so tired. I have no idea how to enjoy something when you're hallucinating through exhaustion, with headaches and needing glasses because you are so tired. What else would you be expected to enjoy? I have never had too much upset at them going to the CM as I crave rest, sleep and 5 mins to think, even if only on the way to work.

Now, however, I am "waking up". The whirl of hormones is dying down, I get some patches of sleep, DD2 is weaning from the breast so can go out for whole days with other people, and both my children are turning into people. They are funny, interesting, interactive people, and I love them. I can only see it getting better & better, and I now feel a pang at going off to work and missing time with them.

It makes me sad to look bad on their new baby days and remembering how hard, bewildering, physically painful and emotionally terrifying it all was. I feel bad for that me, but so glad that I know I'm going to be better at the rest

YABU

I LOVED it.

My babies were all adorable and delicious and happy.

No thanks to Gina Ford, just good genes and my marvellous parenting .

Not enjoying the teenage bit though!

I am 30 weeks pg with DS2, i didnt really appreciate DS1s baby hood i dont think.. Was anxious for him to sleep through sit up roll over etc, which I think is normal. This time i think the lack of sleep will be a kicker, although if he doesnt sleep through from 4 months like DS1, DS1 can officially be the favourite!! and will be worse than I remember, i think that juggling two will be difficult too, but i also think hope i will enjoy the cuddles etc a bit more as that stage doesnt last long...

Thats the plan anyhow!

wow - surprised and very relieved at the number of posters who seem to agree, perhaps i am not such a terrible person after all Witches i would have loved to have just ENJOYED it but i couldn't, although with child #2 i am finding it less soul destroying slightly more fun. Could be because he sleeps a damn sight better than his older sister ever did -strong correlation there i think. Also i do have the perspective that comes from being able to look at the 3year old and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I remember trying to get child #1 to sleep or just stop crying at 2am/3am and being in floods of tears and screeching at DH that "I don't want her, it's just not worth it" . Makes me so sad to remember, but i take comfort in the fact that she (probably) can't."

But even when babies are sleeping / feeding well they are still pretty fundamentally boring (to me at least) and it seems pretty skewed to me that it's perfectly socially acceptable to slag off moan about your teenage kids but you get very shocked reactions if do the same about your 3month old.

YANBU
they are pretty unreasonable creatures until 18mo+. After that is a breeze - I can handle tantrums far better than colic.

Although i do like a sniff of a nice biscuity scented baby's head from time to time.

I'm a first time mum to my 10week old and I can honestly say that I love it. I just sit around all day breastfeeding and singing to duckling. He's a happy boy tho, doesn't cry or grumble just a crappy sleeper but when he's giggling or talking to me in his little baby language I don't care about the lack of sleep.

I can't say I enjoyed it. But at least having a new born baby means your not pregnant any more...

Not quite sure why some of you have had kids the way you seem to detest their actual existance for the first few months.

Depressing.

Not picking a fight at all. Just wondering why so many people can't be bothered to

Do you know what, I can't actually be bothered to reply to you.

I've got 5 dc&adore the baby stage...

Even with colic, reflux etc i would still say the baby stage is my favourite. My dc's were spread over 19 years & i would do it all again- but Im getting abit old!

YANBU. I hated the baby phase - I was so fed up with people asking if I was enjoying motherhood and me lying "yes" with a forced.smile. But, looking back, my feeling was maybe more due to social isolation - family far away, all friends worked full-time, one baby group for 2 hours a week was not enough social interaction for me. Also I had a horrendous birth and struggled with flashbacks and nightmares for a while.

Hmm - actually it maybe wasn't dd being a baby, but all the related circumstances which were actually the problem!

@WestYorkshirePudding that's quite harsh. No one said they 'detest' their DC's.

I'm on the LOVE the baby stage side. DS was the perfect baby, he slept ALL the time, fed well and hardly ever cried (as he was born he only let out a tiny whimper & the midwives kept remarking on how quite he was).
Now the toddler stage is a completely different kettle of fish. He's more than making up for his behaviour in the 1st year!

Nobody has said they detest their children at all. That doesn't change the fact that the first few months can be horrendous.

DS is nearly 3 and is so much easier to look after now than he was for the first 6 months.

I agree it is shit, op. Ds is now 18 months and gets more fascinating every day. After the first couple of months of "omfg, I have a baby, wtf do I do with it???!!" panicking I was fairly bored. Now he talks and enjoys doing stuff he is wonderful.

We are Ttc no 2 and I'm already dreading the baby stage.

Www tiny babies are adorable and don't have stops about jeans or homework. However shredded nipples sore undercarriage and lack of sleep/help around the house do suck. No desire to have another but enjoy very rose-tinted memories of DCs boyhood.

Babyhood !

Just want to add, I did very much enjoy weaning. Definitely the best bit of the pre-1 year stage.

I too hated the baby stage. DS is now 2.10 and DD 14 mo, we are only having two children and I have to say that I breathed a sigh of relief on DD's first birthday that I never have to go through that first year again I am having huge amounts of fun now, DS has just got funnier and more interesting every day and DD is hilarious now

It gets better. I always say 3 months was a milestone. They stop puking all the time and go longer between feeds. You can do stuff more. For me this was undone by messy weaning but that got established too and things were better.
I am not ashamed to admit it took me a v long time to bond with dd1 but at 3 she is the most delightful thing I have ever experienced and I'm sitting here panicking like mad because she's travelling with a close family friend 1.5 hours away tomorrow for a party (with a ton of other friends I trust and have known years) without me (because I am 39.5 weeks pg and too exhausted) and I've heard on the weather there's a slight frost so I'm for seeing terrible accidents mostly because if anything happened to dd1 it would kill me (dramatic I know!)