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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to find the whole baby stage generally just a bit...well.....shit?

119 replies

bblue · 26/10/2012 10:11

For sure there are some wonderful bits, like the big grins, but it seems to me to be overwhelmingly mind-numbingly tedious. Lots of crying, lots of not sleeping (for everyone), wearing the same 3 revolting tops in rotation (breastfeeding) and constantly covered in baby sick. I have got an older child too, and while they have their own challenges(!) it definitely gets more interesting. A friend calls it the "baby conspiracy" - i.e. that you'll rarely hear a bad word about having a tiny baby (that's not immediately tempered by "but oh my god they're so worth it, wouldn't change it for the world") but surely it's not just me (and my friend?!). Or is it?

OP posts:

EarnestDullard · 26/10/2012 11:58

big pot belly, even.

IsSpringSprangedYet · 26/10/2012 11:59

Some and some, I think. Although the love bits definitely outweigh the hate bits for me.

They are only tiny tiny for not long at all. And it all changes so quick. I'm worried I'm going to miss this one as I have a 4, 3 and nearly 2 year old already.

is deliberately trying to forget labour and stitches, sleepless nights, leaking breasts, cracked nipples, poo up the back and down the legs nappy missions...

Sparklingbrook · 26/10/2012 11:59

I think after having a baby the stage you are in currently is always a bit shit TBH. Just when you get the hang of it you are on to the next baffling stage.

I am currently blundering my way through DS1's first year as a teen.

bblue I do agree the baby stage is hard. Both mine were really sicky babies and it was horrible.

Fairylea · 26/10/2012 12:02

Yanbu. It is draining and exhausting.

Notgrownupinmyhead · 26/10/2012 12:04

I hated it with DS1 he was a nightmare the second he came out and became easier once ge reached 1yr.

DS2&3 i loved it. Ill not nause on about my reasons why but i do/did.

GirlsonFilm · 26/10/2012 12:04

YANBU - I can remember saying to my DH that "this is not what I signed up for", and I hated mat leave as other posters have said it's so isolating and boring. My DC's are 3y & 18mth and we're enjoying them much more.
Also I totally agree that no-one can prepare you for the bomb that's going to go off in you life when your first baby arrives.

IvorHughJackolantern · 26/10/2012 12:06

I was so unhappy when DS was tiny that I want to revisit it - but then, I don't know if I was unhappy because it was boring and that actually I agree that the baby stage is shit, or whether I found it shit because I was unhappy, IYSWIM.

I remember when DS moved into his own room (8 weeks, which I know is little but we had our reasons) I used to curl up in an armchair next to his cot and when he woke, I'd sit there feeding him and nuzzling his head and it didn't matter that it was 4am and I'd had no sleep because I loved him so much. They were the brightest parts of the first 8-9 months.

He's 19 mo old now and definitely a lot more fun and interesting, but I really miss those baby snuggles.

WingDefence · 26/10/2012 12:12

YANBU. I had a conversation with a friend about this very topic this morning. I'm definitely not a baby person (i.e. up to 1 year).

I'm glad it wasn't just me that felt like "a fog lifted" when DS got to 1. I'm expecting again and I'm dreading the newborn stage but I'm hoping that it won't be as big of a shock as last time.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 26/10/2012 12:45

I loved it too. I miss it to be honest. I found it easier than now. My daughter is nearly one.

Coops79 · 26/10/2012 12:53

I absolutely loathed the first month when they are totally vulnerable and breakable and yet at the same time really very dull. The next couple of months were fine but, as you say, dull. My DS is 16 weeks today and he's got a lot more interesting so I'm starting to enjoy him more but I can't wait until he's waddling and chatting. Would be quite happy to skip the first 3 months entirely.

sayanything · 26/10/2012 12:59

YANBU, DS2 is now 7wks and I hate hate hate it. DS1 on the other hand has just turned two and I'm enjoying him so much (yes, the terrible twos are much much better than the baby stage).

CailinDana · 26/10/2012 13:06

I have to say I really really enjoyed DS's baby stage. He was a very quiet, chilled out baby who fed really well. I made a new friend shortly before he was born and we really hit it off. We spent months hanging out together, going for walks, going to the pub for lunch, we even went to a special cinema screening every week for mums and babies. I loved it. DS was cuddly and gorgeous, and I had a fantastic social life :) He wasn't a good sleeper at all but DH helped every single night so even that wasn't too bad.

DS is 2 now and is still great but a lot harder work I think.

miaowmix · 26/10/2012 13:07

I wanted to die of boredom for about the first year, to be honest. I really couldn't deal with the tedium of nappies, feeding, weaning etc. I did not feel like myself at all, also like a milk cow. And I didn't even have PND, just boredom.
Loved (almost) every moment since the age of 2 though, so it does get better. I prefer to be able to communicate and can't relate to babies.

KenLeeeeeee · 26/10/2012 13:09

There's bits of it I love and bits I can't wait to get past. The cuteness and "awwww" factor is pretty good, and the general feeling of amazement when they do something for the first time. The lack of sleep isn't fun though, nor is having to choose my outfit based on which tops make it easy to access boobs!

I like it when you can start having actual conversations with them. Ds1 is coming up to 8yo and we have some fantastic chats.

carovioletfizz · 26/10/2012 13:09

Another one who loves the baby stage - tiring and thankless, but I love it!

Astr0naut · 26/10/2012 13:13

YANBU

Every time I get a wobble (only a small wobble;two are financially more than enough), I just remember how fucking hard the first bit is.

Dd is almost 1 and beginning to be a bit easier. I hated the baby bit even more second time round - I'm not good at doing the same task more than once, so having to negotiate baby stuff again was hard.

GouhlishGordonsAaaaahlive · 26/10/2012 13:15

I hated the baby stage with dd, she was a constantly feeding, unputdownable, non sleeping little baggage (albeit a very cute one!). I was kind of dreading / psyching myself up for the same with my ds. He's 14 weeks and a totally different kettle of fish. He's chilled out, plays by himself quite happily and he sleeps!!! Makes all the difference! I'm really enjoying him

BionicEmu · 26/10/2012 13:18

YANBU. I hate the baby stage. DS has just turned 2, and I'm really enjoying this age. But then he had severe reflux and had a couple of other medical issues, but he basically just cried for 6 months straight. A friend of mine reminded me the other day of when I met up with her when DS was a few months old and I was deliriously happy as I'd gotten 3 hours sleep the day before, more than I'd had for months.

I'm now 26 weeks with DC2, & whilst I'm looking forward to having another baby, I would honestly much rather just give birth to a 6-12 month old and even deal with the surgery necessary to enable that!

MorrisZapp · 26/10/2012 13:30

YANBU. I wanted to put DS up for adoption. Felt like the biggest mistake of my life. I hated every single minute of it.

He's 2 now and is officially a person. I like people! But babies, nah.

ThickCut · 26/10/2012 13:31

I love babies! But only my own two, other peoples are boring

NapOfTheDamned · 26/10/2012 13:36

YANBU.
Toddler DS is fab. We both hated him being a baby, he is so much happier now he can rush about and communicate and do stuff and so am I.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 26/10/2012 13:40

I hated it.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I like looking back at dvds of them when they were little as it reminds me there were SOME good times!
Prefer teenagers.

malinois · 26/10/2012 13:42

YANBU. Babies are rubbish. Toddlers on the other hand are delightful.

ScaryFakeNails · 26/10/2012 13:47

I like them once they're at school and aren't about so often. They're much more entertaining.

But then I also like teens which seems to be apparently unheard of. Am just waiting for the last one to be a teen.

I don't like babies or toddlers never have. I completely agree its a conspiracy, although I knew I wasn't going to like it. I went in with my eyes wide open. The thing I didn't expect is that you're then meant to like them for life. Once you've had kids you're meant to smile at them out and about and everyone thrusts their babies at you because they "bet you miss it". Do I fuck.

Suzieismyname · 26/10/2012 13:48

YANBU. Lack of sleep, feeling guilty for not getting to 6 months exclusive BF (even though I made it to 24.5 and the 23 weeks with both my girls). Bored out of my skull because babies aren't very intellectually stimulating. So frustrating not knowing what they want. DD2 at 20months is just starting to talk properly, that's the bit I love, when you can really find out about who they are!
I love my girls beyond words, but I couldn't do it again.

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