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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think drivers who beep me are complete idiots who should have more respect for for others?!

100 replies

Bunny2012 · 26/10/2012 07:34

I am a fairly new driver. As such sometimes I prefer to wait until there is a slightly larger gap before pulling out of a side road / entering a roundabout / turning right etc. I am such I will improve with experience and confidence.

This morning I was waiting for a gap to turn right. I was on a fast road, it was dark and rainy so I was struggling to judge whether I had time to go or not and waiting for a gap. The t*at behind me aggressively gave me the horn. This has happened before. AIBU to think drivers should show more patience and respect for others who might be newer drivers?

OP posts:
ningthemerciless · 26/10/2012 09:35

Bunny, yanbu! Ima fairly new driver too and I can def say that my confidence with gaps at circles and such has improved massively but people sometimes can't be paitient.
I missed my gears at the top of a hill once and ended up quietly stalling so I didn't notice. When it came to move, obv no engine so I did all the stuff to get the car going again but not before the impatient twat behind me beeped at me. AND I had P plates on. Really annoyed me!
Just take as much time as you need to judge a safe gap and you'll get better at it in time.

mutny · 26/10/2012 09:36

many of you admit that you would be more patient with drivers who display the P plates, perhaps you need to be more patient FULL STOP

The reason I suggested the 'p' plates is because the OP asked if people should show more patience and respect for others who might be newer drivers? I was suggesting if she wants allowances because she is new then she should get them. Not that it would make me more patient.
Had the OP asked if people should be more patient in general, the answer would have been different.
Hesitating IS dangerous, which is why you can fail your test for it.

fluffiphlox · 26/10/2012 09:37

My mind wandered at traffic lights yesterday morning and I was slow responding to the green light. I was amazed I didn't get tooted because frankly I deserved to be. Chin up it happens to the best of us.

Meglet · 26/10/2012 09:40

yanbu.

Personally I wouldn't get 'P' plates. All I got was crap from other drivers when I had them (15yrs ago). As soon as I took them off it stopped.

Just keep calm and wait for a space. TBH I much prefer a bit of caution that the gung-ho approach to driving. Bollocks to the aggresive drivers, they're the ones who end up with points and car crashes.

And do an advanced driving course, they're quite geeky but I really enjoyed it. Taught me that I was a good driver after all and to ignore the idiots on the road.

echt · 26/10/2012 09:41

It's funny how the fucker behind you when you're turning right always knows the safest time to do so.

When I'm tooted, by such a twunt, I have been known to get out of the car, hurry over to the fuckwit and ask what they want (concerned face/enraged harpy/bland enquiry as required).

valiumredhead · 26/10/2012 09:42

Babs you do realise that 60 is a limit not an instruction?

When you take your test, you are meant to drive as near to the road speed as possible AS LONG AS IT IS SAFE. If you did 40 along a 60 rd in your test they would see it as driving too slowly and holding up traffic.

BlueberryHill · 26/10/2012 09:42

differentname, I give learners more space, but I also give elderly drivers more space as well. The reactions on both sets of drivers are likely to be slower and they are generally more cautious. You are right though 30 seconds isn't long. I do admit to chewing the steering wheel like Alameda, especially when I am behind a stream of traffic waiting to turn right and everyone seems to be waiting for large gaps.

I disagree with anyone saying, just go, other drivers have brakes and can see you, it depends on the road and the speeds but on a 60 MPH road which is straight and fast moving it is WRONG nothing pisses me off more than this, it causes me to brake heavily. It's dangerous don't do it and I won't just peep you for that, lights and horn, it is dangerous.

OP, take your time, your ability to judge speeds and spaces will improve and it is better to be cautious than wrong and cause an accident. YANBU but you will, unfortunately, have to get used to the nobs on the roads. As you get more experienced other things will start to annoy you, just try to let if flow over you.

valiumredhead · 26/10/2012 09:43

echt I was a passenger in a car and a friend did that once - the beeper soon shut up Grin

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo · 26/10/2012 09:43

OP I don't think yabu. You are responsible for your safety and that of your passeners. If that means you take an extra few seconds to judge a gap properly then good for you. The twat person behind will be delayed a lot longer if he pressurises you in to an accident.

I passed my test last year and I have found I've become more decisive with experience. Decisive is good, reckless isn't.

I never had P plates either. I had quite enough aggession from 'experienced' drivers when learning thanks. I don't think P plates do anything other than give some people a licence to treat you badly. There are some hideous drivers out there. I've seen a white van driver take a right hand turn so sharply and so fast that he managed to miss the left hand side of the road that he should be on and drive up the righ hand lane on the opposite side of the road. Thankfully I was in the left hand lane and the right hand lane was empty. I've also been overtaken on an urban road when I was going at approx 27 mph and slowing down because of a red light 50 metres ahead. The git actually beeped at me as he overtook. So I pulled up behind him at the lights and wrote his number down. I could see him looking in his mirror and see me doing that (he was in a landrover so higher up) Hopefully it gave him a sleepless night.

Alisvolatpropiis · 26/10/2012 09:45

I think how likely you are to be beeped depends on what time of day/where you are driving.

A city in rush hour? High chance of being beeped because someone always has to be somewhere that little bit faster.

Are you driving at busy times OP? Presumably to work? It does take a little time to get into driving in full on traffic. I had something of a baptism of fire,my 6th form was across the other side of the city to where I lived. Had to use to busiest roads and roundabout (it's a bloody nightmare) in the city I live in. I got used to it v quickly. You will too. As long as you're not waiting for an invitation from the Queen to go, you are waiting, not hesitating.

Telling her to "just go" regardless of what might be visible oncoming traffic is rally stupid advice.

MissKeithLemon · 26/10/2012 09:46

*Add message | Report | Message poster Nishky Fri 26-Oct-12 09:17:38

Babs you do realise that 60 is a limit not an instruction?*

I failed a test for not speeding up enough on a 60mph road... I was only going 50mph as I had missed the sign for national speed limit sign after a stretch of 50. The examiner didn't know I'd missed the sign, just that I was driving too slowly for the road and conditions.

So I beg to differ actually Nishky and believe that you should be aiming for the the speed limit or thereabouts.

valiumredhead · 26/10/2012 09:49

That is what I was taught as well misskeith

drjohnsonscat · 26/10/2012 09:57

YANBU. I have been driving for 25 years and I still get annoyed at this. I will decide when it's safe for me to go, not you, you idiot, not least because I am in front of you and I can see things that you can't.

Height of idiocy. I think cars should be fitted with a meter and drivers should be charged for use of the horn - you'd get 5 emergency beeps per year for real dramas and the rest you would get charged for like the congestion charging meters they have in cars in some cities. When I rule the world it will be much better.

EuroShagmore · 26/10/2012 10:09

It's rude and aggressive to beep your horn at another driver for being slow, but if this is happening often, it does suggest the OP is being overly hestitant. Maybe get a couple of extra driving lessons to improve your confidence?

BreconBeBuggered · 26/10/2012 10:24

Totally agree with drjohnsonscat I rarely see a driver use the horn correctly to warn about potential danger. It's mostly petulant twats who want to hurry someone up or tell them off if they think they've made a mistake.

Nishky · 26/10/2012 10:32

I find it hard to believe that you failed a test for driving at 50 in a 60- spoke to an instructor for advanced drivers and he said that the most dangerous on the road are those who do not adjust their speed for conditions/circumstances- ie the pavlov's dogs who see a speed limit and think they have to drive at that speed all the time

MissKeithLemon · 26/10/2012 10:35

You find it hard to believe Nishky Confused yet you have spoken to an advanced stage instructor?

Tis I who is puzzled now Hmm

Nishky · 26/10/2012 10:37

I spoke to him years ago and did not ask him about 50 in a 60. Sorry if that is confusing

tiggytape · 26/10/2012 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheReturnOfBridezilla · 26/10/2012 10:50

I have been terrified by other people on the road. Speeding, not looking before pulling out, driving too close, paying no attention, swerving about in lanes, being aggressive to others etc.

It takes a bit of time and practice to be confident pulling out of junctions quickly and like you, I'd rather take a few extra seconds and not get killed or risk killing my passengers personally.

I drive an Audi now and people give me a wide berth presumably because they assume I'm an idiot. Grin

fluffyraggies · 26/10/2012 10:51

I'd be interested in how long ago the OP passed her test and where she is driving.

For eg: she's driving round a city center, passed her test last week, and is getting beeped - answer = chin up OP, you'll soon be up to speed and get 'nippy' along with the rest of the traffic.

However if she's driving around sleepy villages and passed her test 6 months ago and is getting beeped - answer = OP, you need a bit more practice either alone or with an instructor, and yes i think P plates would be a good idea for a while.

valiumredhead · 26/10/2012 10:53

I find it hard to believe that you failed a test for driving at 50 in a 60

What do you find so hard to believe? I passed 5 years ago and it was drummed into me to get up to the road speed where it is safe to do so.

TheReturnOfBridezilla · 26/10/2012 10:53

Oh and don't take it personally when people are rude to you when you hesitate. I imagine all the other rubbish things that must be going on in their lives to make them react so badly to something which really isn't that important.

Nishky · 26/10/2012 10:56

I find it hard to believe that the ONLY reason you failed a test was that one incident

I passed 30 years ago; so a bit more driving experience than you

pigletmania · 26/10/2012 10:57

Totally agree op, I have failed 4 tests, but that kind of thing makes me reluctant to learn again, as I am quite a nervous person