To feel sorry for any woman who has to work with this doctor?

[RevoltingPeasant]

In a clinic yesterday with the consultant, who is explaining the complex thing that has gone wrong with my kidneys.

Him: I'll just show the scans on the screen. I'm going to talk you through these - you're a very bright girl, you'll be able to understand.

Me: ....!

Him: That's not meant to be patronising, but I think you're bright enough to understand this.

Me:

I mean really, I actually thought it was rather funny in an awful way, but htf does someone like this function in an environment where they must have to deal with women colleagues? Is this just him or is this some kind of bizarre sexist hierarchy which only operates in hospitals?

Yes he is a goon.

It's a odd thing with first names. I met a chief constable recently who addressed me by my first name. I have no issue with that but he was mighty surprised when I addressed him as Norman!

I don't really mind about being called 'mum' or 'you're bright enough to understand' sort of thing. Annoying though it is.

It's when you get some 20ish oik, straight out of college, demanding you have some part of your body removed, because he knows best. And when you say, I'd like some more information or a second opinion, they're so arrogant they get really annoyed and write crap things in your notes - for everyone to see thereonafter. You then get treated like some sort of lepper for years to come.

Really - I'm not difficult - I would just like a say. But every time i go into hospital now, I'm treated with disdain. The last op I had, I woke up after the anaesthetic to be told they'd removed my fibroids with success. I said that's not what i came in for. Slightly worrying to say the least. Oh it's ok says the nurse, the consultant will be along to speak to you. Well he never bothered. And I still don't know if they removed what they should have or some mysterious fibroids I didn't know I had.

I remember that thread, MrsDeVere. Believe me, people do not love being called Mum by someone who is not their child.

It's lazy, unprofessional and condescending.

I also remember that thread.... Took the discussion into work & discovered that all my colleagues refer to patients/carer's mostly by their first names. (and they also call us by our first names) We're not all shit.

lol at emulsion I can just imagine that five

No one is saying HCP's are all shit, just sharing experiences and pointing things out about them.

Quite a few of us have spent much time in and out of hospitals, ourselves or with our children.

I have quite a few personal friends who are HCPs. They are not shit. And people who use terms like 'girls' or 'chap' or 'Mum' for adults aren't necessarily shit, either, it's just that a lot of people find that patronising, condescending or unprofessional.

As have I. I have been patronised, tell them I work in PICU & a whole different attitude emerges. I have read many truly awful things on here about HCPs (which I can believe) but my team works incredibly hard to not only deliever expert care, but to treat everyone we come into contact with respect & dignity. I can only encourage people to keep challenging poor care.

I've had problems with previous pregnancies and a few unrelated minor ops. The consultants have always asked us both about our jobs before giving an explanation! Except one female consultant for a pregnancy. I got into the habit of mentioning that I was currently not in paid employed but used to do x.

My daughter died in PICU, excepting two particular consultant-level physicians, one who was not in permanent employ there, our over-all experience reflects what you say.

:)

I used to work in the consulting rooms where all the consultants saw their private patients. Some of them are seriously lacking in any social graces and just don't get it, others are complete asses and some are an absolute delight to be around.
We had our fair share of all three, luckily we saw them twice a week at most.

Expat - I am so sorry. I am always completely humbled by the strength of parents in their absolute worst nightmare. I sincerely hope you & your darling daughter were well cared for.

I too remember that thread and I share your pain as a HCP I detest it when people call parents Mum/Dad.

As an increasingly senior dr I now bollock the juniors for doing it (maybe that isn't PC enough....I gently remind them that they shouldn't do it)

One sure fire way to piss me off though is to call me "nurse". I worked for a lotta years for that Dr. Although in actual fact I usually introduce myself to kids by my first name in an adult setting though I have to man up and be Dr Gasman... It's hard!

Nurse..... Such an abusive term.

Thanks, plus. She had AML with one mutation that was particularly bad in children (FLT3). Her cancer was not curable with chemo alone and unfortunately, during the stem cell transplant process (from which 50% with her mutation go on to relapse), she contracted human metapneumo virus and pseudomonas infection. Having undergone 5 rounds of intense chemo in the previous 7 months, her lungs couldn't cope, and of course, she began to go into multiple organ failure until she developed a pneumothorax and died within seconds of the vent being turned off.

Bar those two, who were perfectly fine clinically but were, erm, lacking in other skills, we were as well-cared for as possible. One of the two, perhaps one day in this life he will meet another brick wall, preferably at high speed.

All the anaesthetists introduced themselves by first name to my daughter and me :). And we saw them a lot.

Oh, FFS, stop moaning!! The 'free' NHS will be killed off before most of us stop needing it. When it's all privatised you can complain that the bedside manner was not to your taste and seek compensation. Seriously, make the most of it 'girl', 'lady', whatever, while it lasts.

YABU -get over yourself.

Expat - that sounds hideous. Have you considered writing a compliant? You may just change their attitude, or least make them consider their approach to communication.
I know it's not the done thing, but here's a hug (())

He offered to explain?

And your complaining he called you a girl.

Normally getting consultants to explain is like getting pod out of stones.

I've resorted to sitting on my bed reading the most complicated genetics article I could find in Sci American.

Blood out of stones.