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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be saddened by way some American hospitals handle birth?

37 replies

eachpeach11 · 22/10/2012 11:26

Just watched a programme where a mum gave birth by csection. Baby was taken away whilst she was still being stitched. Think dad went too. She didn't get to see baby till 2 hours later. (Baby well)
So different to my last experience (1 month ago) where baby never left my sight. Was even offered skin to skin in theatre although declined as felt too wobbly.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 22/10/2012 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 22/10/2012 11:41

Depends on the situation. I had an emergency C-Section and, unbeknownst to me, lost an awful lot of blood during the procedure.

DP was ushered out of the room with DS, in retrospect probably in case the worst happened. But even if they'd stayed, I was too woozy with blood loss to really be aware of anything going on around me. Your experience sounds very different however, be aware, it is still major abdominal surgery and sometimes things do happen that can't be controlled.

It's no big deal, that lady's baby will not remember the first two hours of it's life, it's the next eighteen years and beyond that counts.

Sokmonsta · 22/10/2012 12:00

Thing is these programmes are edited. We won't necessarily know that there may have been a problem immediately post birth. I barely saw dtd after I delivered her because I was concentrating on dts. Then ended up emcs with GA. I was grateful that dh had dtd as I was being rushed away.

BunnyLeBOOwski · 22/10/2012 12:02

YANBU.

Have you watched Ricki Lake's The Business of Being Born?? It horrified me.

Was a huge influence on me deciding to have a HB.

SarryB · 22/10/2012 12:05

To be honest, I think a lot of care in America for pregnant women/women in labour is awful.

I know of a midwife in the States. When a child is delivered stillborn, the couple will still be expected to pay the $200 fee to have the baby delivered. Shocking. This particular midwife tends to pay for it herself instead of the couple paying for a child that didn't survive.

Also, it scares me a little that the States has a very high infant mortality rate. And yet it's one of the richest countries in the world.

ManifestingMingeHooHoosAgain · 22/10/2012 12:05

I know those programs are edited but the whole very medical attitude to birth really scares me in the US, am so glad I had my babies here.

It's not uncommon to not be allowed a vbac. Not advised against it, but not allowed and your Dr can refuse to care for you if you don't do as you are told Sad A very sad state of affairs for women IMHO.

Don't even get me started on the abortion stuff. I find it hard to comprehend how a developed country like the US is so deeply anti-women.

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 12:06

YANBU!

I can't watch the American birth programmes. They upset me too much. They're far too medical, too hands on.

I am so so glad it's a far cry (in most places) from that here. I wouldn't want to be a midwife otherwise.

OTTMummA · 22/10/2012 12:07

I am not saying i personally agree with the way things operate over there, but some people are not bothered and some people prefer it.
I think it would be a good idea to teach women to strongly voice their opinion and accept little compromise in what happens during pregnancy and birth, however they wish to experience it.

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 12:07

Every one I've seen, the woman has been in her back, legs in stirrups, medical drapes and numerous people in the room. Doctors with masks on, being overky hands on as if to rush the baby out. Unless its a high risk birth there's no need for this

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 12:07

X post

MrsKeithRichards · 22/10/2012 12:07

From my limited knowledge, gained from discover home and health, the whole process in the states does seem very clinical and doctor led.

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 12:10

I watched one, a poor family who got free treatment. Their baby had died. They were treated disgustingly. 'Oh it's here, do you want us to get rid of it' and picking it up like it was a bag of rubbish.

The women on at programme were treated like cattle. Spoken to my friend who lives in America and she says sadly it is like that, when you haven't got insurance or money to pay

Was in tears

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 12:11

Picking her up like a bag of rubbish* got caught up with the doctors words if 'it' then

NeedlesCuties · 22/10/2012 12:25

I've heard about Rikki Lake's, 'The Business of Being Born'. Is it available online? Linky please, so I and other interested people can find it.

TerrariaMum · 22/10/2012 12:30

I don't think it is, Needles. I've looked for it.

EdithWeston · 22/10/2012 12:31

You might also be interested in reading TheAmerican Way of Birth written by Jessica Mitford some decades ago. Plus ça change...

Vagndidit · 22/10/2012 12:37

Funny enough, I have the same horrific reaction whenever I watch UK-based birth shows (treated like cattle, no pain relief, etc) It's just a case of what is considered "typical."

And, I'd hate to say it, but the post-birth recovery and care is years ahead of that which is provided here in NHS hospitals.

Most people get private rooms, catered meals (my friend's hospital offered lobster and steak dinner for her and her DH!) round-the-clock nursing care, and you can send your newborn to the nursery for a nap if you need a break. Although I suppose the Portland and the like would provide the same here if you could afford it...

Fuchzia · 22/10/2012 12:47

I don't think steak dinners ate a good marker of post-birth care. They probably are cheaper for the insurance company to provide and make it seem a bit fancier but give me the no-fills NHS approach any day!

jellybeans · 22/10/2012 13:03

Is it 'Maternity Ward' by any chance? Some of them focus on high risk wards. I do think YANBU though in general. I also don't like watching them because they often feature circumcision if the baby is a boy. Also the whole doctors in masks and babies sent to the nursery etc. Things are not perfect here though either.

flyingspaghettimonster · 22/10/2012 13:03

It is very hard to get the birth you want here. I had my youngest at a great hospital, but it wasn't the vbac i wanted. I was given a very negative response to that request and told that in cases of previous 4th degree tears, the old scar tissue can tear open again and leave permanent seepage between vagina and anus. After hearing that I was sold on the c-section.

The operation was rushed so much that my husband barely made it into the theatre - from first cut to delivery was 2 minutes and the whole thing was just 18 minutes. Total bill over $10k.

We did get an hour to ourselves after delivery, but then baby was stolen for 'warming and bathing' against my wishes. Throughout my three day stay nurses kept coming in to take him to the nursery for the doctor rounds... After 30 minutes I would stagger up there and collect him and inform them the doctor could ruddy well come to us. Ridiculous making all the babies wait crying in the nursery for doctor rounds.

On the other hand, i was treated very well, had my own room and pain meds were plentiful (compared with the lousy paracetamol i was given for my UK c-section) pressing the bell meant a nurse was there within moments. All nappies and newborn supplies were there in a drawer for me as well as vests, hats, blankets. A bag of personal care items for myself as well.

So there is some good, some bad.

flyingspaghettimonster · 22/10/2012 13:06

Oh, the biggest two differences were the continual pressure to have him circumcised by every nurse there, and the fact you have to register a name before you leave the hospital. Also the insurance gets to decide when you are fit to leave, not you or even the Dr. I had nerve damage from the spinal and was in agony, which they weren't able to control properly by the time i had to go.

Want2bSupermum · 22/10/2012 13:43

I gave birth here in the US last year and will be back in Feb. Overall, I was very happy with my obn group and hospital care. My only complaint was that no one informed me of the potential side effect of my milk not coming in due to the drugs given to me to treat preclampsia.

A lot of these programs are very biased. My experience was positive. I think the high infant mortality here has a lot to do with the higher rates of assisted conception, multiple births and mothers being older. I know two friends who had stillbirths. Both conceived with IVF and were 39 and 43. When I had DD the woman in the next room to me had just given birth at 28 weeks to her twins and she was 44. Both were ok but were in NICU. I was surprised at the number of babies born early but the mothers were nearly all close to the age of 40 with multiples.

oldraver · 22/10/2012 13:48

Needless it is, I found it by accident as the title is missing 'The'

Primafacie · 22/10/2012 13:51

I am saddened by the way UK hospitals handle birth.

EdgarAllanPond · 22/10/2012 13:55

the high mortality rate probably has much to do with 1 in 5 women not having health insurance and therefore not getting proper pre-natal care.

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