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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to completely bypass halloween

107 replies

crazyhatlady · 21/10/2012 17:57

Just back from supermarket shop with ds and it was full of halloween tat, literally every corner we turned.
Now he's harassing me for said tat and tbh I just feel like it's a big marketing ploy to encourage people to spend money on crap they don't need

A lot of my neighbours seem to go ott decorating the houses. I just don't get it. I'm a single parent and trying to put cash away for Christmas, also got 3 kids birthdays to buy for next week. Ds is 4.

So am I justified or just a big meanie?

OP posts:

OhlimpPricks · 22/10/2012 10:24

I hate Halloween.
By all means take your kids and knock on their friends doors, but I really don't think it should be encouraged.
For the elderly, and other vulnerable people, knocks after dark can be extremely distressing. And I think the promotion of knocking on people's doors at night is very wrong. The majority of kids will have a responsible adult with them, but in every class, you will have those couple of kids whose parents don't give a damn. They may take it upon themselves to wander round knocking on doors. Any old pervert can put an illuminated mask from Asda in the front window...

PatronSaintOfDucks · 22/10/2012 10:38

I really cannot understand how "knocks after dark" (most of the time, it's around 6-7 pm!) can be "extremely distressing". How can a bunch of generally small kids in costumes be distressing? Or even teenagers? What are you afraid of? War, hunger, disease, robbery, assault, rape, etc. are distressing. But children in masks asking for sweets?

Yes, there may be a few rowdy and not very well-behaved ones, but is it worth cancelling the fun for the well-behaved majority because of it? Are we so far gone in our confidence as adults that we cannot handle a couple rowdy kids?

Where is the sense of community and hospitality?

Don't get me wrong, if you hate the whole thing, it's your right to just not open the door or go out. But to claim that you are "extremely distressed"? (bar rare cases of mental conditions that make noise and breaks in routine hard to handle)

Mrsjay · 22/10/2012 10:40

I have never done halloween it think it is a waste of time and just pointless, if he children has a party to go to then fine sigh they dressed up but i would happily let it slide and not bother,

fluffyraggies · 22/10/2012 10:40

I think it's really bad form to be saying people are being grumpy or a spoil sport to not like halloween. Some people have a damn good reason not to like it.

I spent 9 years bloody dreading it when i lived in London. If halloween was just all about parties and under 10s dressed up and politely knocking on doors untill 7 or 8 in the evening then so be it. But my experience was of teens dressed in black hoodies knocking on the door till 11 or 12 demanding small change or food. Yes really. And i didn't live on a sink estate or any famously dodgy area either. That was just the reality. EVERY SINGLE YEAR there was damage done to my property and others in the area. Paint, eggs, oil, ect chucked around the door. Flower beds trampled, dustbins emptied over the garden. Always something. I was alone with 3 very young DCs and would refuse to answer the door after about 8 because i found these lads intimidating. Some of them were were 6 footers with rubber masks on.

I would just turn the lights out downstairs, go upstairs and prey the damage wouldn't be too bad in the morning.

What jolly fun. Yeah. I was in tears about it some years.

So fuck halloween. And bugger off with your Oh but it's fun, and how baaaad it is on here with people not liking it. And don't let your kids TOT if they're over 10!

(I live in a village now and things are allot better, I've even done a pumpkin the last few years. I'm no longer alone in the house, the TOTers round here are mainly young, accompanied by an adult, and it's over by about 8pm. But i will not let my kids go TOTing at all, and i still get that horrible stressey feeling when i see all the stuff in the shops)

OhlimpPricks · 22/10/2012 10:54

fluffyraggies I live in London. Like you, not in the middle of some ghetto, and glad you share my dislike of TOTing. I always look out of the bedroom window before opening the front door , and no it's not very nice to see a gang of late teens in hoodies throwing eggs and paint around.
My Mum lives outside London, and uses her chain if she answers the door even in the daytime. To a petite lady in her late 70's, a gang of teenagers dressed in horror costumes, screeching away is very distressing.

PatronSaintOfDucks · 22/10/2012 10:54

Well, I must have been lucky to have lived in places, including rough council estates known for drugs etc., where majority of people behave in a civilized manner at festival-time.

Most people on this thread, however, seem to be intimidated not by any serious stuff like property damage, but by the mere fact of somebody they don't know knocking on their door on one night a year and asking for sweets. That's what I find very strange.

VinegarTits · 22/10/2012 11:02

some miserable buggers about, we love halloween, its all about the kids having fun and making memories and it doesnt have to cost a lot, go the pound shop or make your own

Mrsjay · 22/10/2012 11:04

I am miserable about it I am the halloween grinch

usualsuspect3 · 22/10/2012 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjay · 22/10/2012 11:05

OH i have sweets at the door incase somebody comes I want a joke though I need to be entertained don't just come with your hand out I just didnt do anything halloweeny with my kids

PatronSaintOfDucks · 22/10/2012 11:10

And anyway, the whole point of a carnival is to temporarily disrupt the social order, turn things upside down, take people outside their comfort zones, make them question things and let off steam. That is one of the functions of the winter solstice carnivals and pre-Lent carnivals. Same goes for things like the Pamplona bull-run, the tomatina festival, etc. Rowdy behaviour should be taken in context. Yes, there are screeching teenagers in death-masks, but they are there for one evening only, and they are really just screeching teenagers in masks, not Osama Bin Laden or David Cameron come to take your winter fuel allowance away.

Badvoc · 22/10/2012 11:14

We don't "do" Halloween.
Never have.
We do have a bonfire and fireworks etc on bonfire night as the kids seem to enjoy that more.
It's just all a bit tacky IMHO.
Probably why kids love it! :)

usualsuspect3 · 22/10/2012 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffyraggies · 22/10/2012 11:15

Thank you for the 'that hasn't happened to me' posts from people who have already said they love halloween. We know you like halloween. You've said. Obviously this hasn't happened to you.

I'm glad it hasn't happened to you. But it did to me.

fluffyraggies · 22/10/2012 11:16

Got the hump today :(

usualsuspect3 · 22/10/2012 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZZZenAgain · 22/10/2012 11:18

never celebrated it when I was growing up so I suppose I just have no connection to it and I have never done anything Halloween based with dd either and she is 12 now. Doesn't really appeal to me except for maybe the jack-o-lanterns

Mrsjay · 22/10/2012 11:20

yes my teens are going to parties DD1 wants to dress up as a zombie Dorothy that is a bit twisted she thinks it is hilarious

usualsuspect3 · 22/10/2012 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjay · 22/10/2012 11:25

It is a uni party well at somebodies flat so i guess lots of drink will be consumed and pictures of zombies all over her facebook , DD2 is undecided she cant decide if it is uncool to dress up for the school disco or now,(not that dd2 is in the 'cool crowd anyway)

WholeLottaRosie · 22/10/2012 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ZZZenAgain · 22/10/2012 13:32

if I lived in America where they really go to town on this, I would probably make an effort to get my dc involved somehow and have treats in store since it is very likely, trick or treaters would come round. I live in the Czech Republic and that doesn't happen, it isn't done at school and when we lived in Germany, some people were starting to celebrate it in a small way but it wasn't an established tradition at all, at least not where we lived.

I suppose if the kids are all talking about it at school and doing Halloween art or whatever else and parties are being held, I wouldn't refuse to allow my dc to participate, I don't have anything really against it but I don't much like the outfits, spiders and all that stuff and really no-one I know does any of that

Jusfloatingby · 22/10/2012 16:01

When I was a child (in Dublin) Halloween was a really simple affair. A few monkey nuts, a bit of apple bobbing and a cheap plastic mask from a local shop. We also had a barm brack with a 'gold' ring in it for someone to find. But there was no decorating the house, buying fancy dress costumes, letting off fireworks for weeks in advance etc.
It was just a one day event. If you wanted to dress up and call on a few of the neighbours you just made up a costume from bits and bobs around the house. Now it's nearly like a mini Christmas.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 22/10/2012 16:18

I'm in a bit of a conundrum about Halloween. I like it and don't mind dishing out sweets but DS is only 10mo and I'd much prefer if the knocking stopped after 7 when he goes to bed. Does anyone have any experience of kids obeying signs left on doors to that effect?

Campari · 22/10/2012 16:35

YANBU.

My DS hates it, he gets frightened by the costumes and a couple of years ago I had to pick him up from his friend's party, he was beside himself in tears because theyd turned the lights off and played scary sound effects for a game. Its all very well some people saying "its just a bit of fun," but some young kids can be easily scared.

The one thing we do each year is get a big pumpkin, carve it into a funny face, then we make soup from the...whatdoyoucallthem....innards??

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