Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toys at the dinner table - I've given up, dh appalled

97 replies

Alitoomanykids · 21/10/2012 09:35

My two year old wont sit still at the dinner table. She is very easily distracted and gets up and down all the time. It is impossible to keep her sitting in either a high chair or a booster seat as she just undoes the straps and stands up / climbs on to the table. I have basically given up and now allow a collection of toys at the dinner table. She actually eats quite well when she wants to but doesn't seem to need more than a few mouthfuls sometimes. Anyway, in a nutshell dh is appalled by this (he works away during the week and is only home at weekends) and its not really fair to the two older kids either who have never been allowed toys at the table. I'm currently taking the path of least resistance!

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 21/10/2012 10:12

You're H is overreacting.

My DH used to work away during the week and if he'd come home and said he was "appalled" by something so small I'd be angry and upset. He does know you are basically a single parent during gather week to three DC? He needs to support you in solving little behavioural problems not criticise you.

uoYekorByMredluomS · 21/10/2012 10:12

No one said anything about silence silver charm. You can make a family meal fun without toys.

whatsleep · 21/10/2012 10:12

My two year old dd is just he same, high chair and booster seat have long gone due to her spending more time trying to escape the straps that actually eating. Now she climbs up and down from the table constantly, driving us insane! Toys on the table sounds a great idea I shall be trying it at lunchtime.

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 10:12

I know what you mean uoYekor and yes the eating out thing was really important to me as well. But I have to confess to taking a huge bag of toys to the restaurant for those occasions. Blush

QuickLookBusy · 21/10/2012 10:13

And apologies to single parents for my comparison. I know being alone in the week isn't the same as being a single parent, but it does feel like that at times.

Kveta · 21/10/2012 10:14

DS wouldn't sit in a highchair from about 9 months, straps made him scream blue murder, and without them he just climbed out. we found a booster seat better, and the IKEA children's chair the best of all.

he is 3 now, and could get distracted in an empty room. but he does sometimes eat a whole meal, and is allowed toys at the table if we ever eat out. I don't really see an issue with it tbh, they stop eventually, why stress it when they are young?

ChaoticismyLife · 21/10/2012 10:14

If he is that appalled maybe he would like to do the mealtimes today and sort it all out for you Ali.

^^This...

lollystix · 21/10/2012 10:15

DS1,2,3 don't have toys at the table but DS1 who is just 1 does. The baby has always ended up with toys at the table as it does help them get through dinner. By about 2 - 2.5 I have phased them out. All of mine have been through this and are fine. Seriously...you have bigger things to worry about. If DH is going to give you a hard time you need to explain to him it's survival and he can take a running jump...I'd like to see how much better he could manage.

SilverCharm · 21/10/2012 10:15

uoYekor but is the OP making them fun? I know what it's like with a DH who works away all week...bloody knackering! Doing ALL the entertainment....all the bedtimes, pick ups and drop offs....I expect OP doesn't always feel like being Mary Poppins at tea time.

lollystix · 21/10/2012 10:15

oops - DS4...not 1. DS1 is 6 now. My efforst with him are spent on trying to make him sit straight and not rock on his chair.

QuickLookBusy · 21/10/2012 10:16

I think more parents should take a bag of toys to restaurants for their small dc, Sparkling

I did with mine, it keeps them occupied and happy, so everyone else can enjoy their meal.

ChaoticismyLife · 21/10/2012 10:16

Thinking about it, one of the pieces of advice on mn when you take your dc out to eat is to take stuff to occupy them, ie a book. So if it works at home why not do it there as well?

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 10:18

These toys are shocking Grin

Fairylea · 21/10/2012 10:22

Anything that means you can all eat in peace and enjoy being together isn't worth getting your pants in a twist over.

We don't even have a table ! .. we have a massive kitchen and room for one but we all hate sitting at it so sit in the living room with dinner on our laps... I do however eat out with the kids regularly and they have good table manners

Cahoots · 21/10/2012 10:29

At 2 years old a few toys at the table are fine, nice, quiet toys. Not Nurf guns or drum kits

Kveta · 21/10/2012 10:39

this is a good table toy

Cahoots · 21/10/2012 10:56

...and I think this would enhance any mealtime.

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 11:01

Or this

TheDeathAndGlories · 21/10/2012 11:05

I'm the same Sparkling
It's not worth sweating the small stuff. Its quite easy to stop things like that later on

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 11:08

But does that make me a lazy parent Death? Sounds like I don't care doesn't it? Sad

thebody · 21/10/2012 11:12

Straps are a safety issue and she should never be able to undo them and stand up.. Strap her tighter.. Otherwise she may undo cat seat. It's a no no.

Toys at table so what!!

Your dh sounds a bit if an arse tbh.

FrustratedSycamoreBonks · 21/10/2012 11:13

I have to say that IMO since DH is away 5/7 dinner times, he's not really in a position to judge what works for you for the majority of the time. If the toys mean you all sit at the table and eat, then where is the problem?

TheDeathAndGlories · 21/10/2012 11:24

Well if you are so am I sparkling

I think that I've just learned which battles are worth fighting now I'm more experienced. I have also learned which things have long term impact and I wouldn't consider toys on the table at that age to have that much

Yama · 21/10/2012 11:25

Agree with Frustrated.

Just say to your dh - "You are not the boss of me."

NormanTheForeman · 21/10/2012 11:26

I would never allow toys at the table, but that was because ds would get distracted by them and wouldn't eat because he was too busy playing. With no toys he would eat much better.