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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel totally floored and confused by this - and not know how I feel or what, if anything, to do

6 replies

Ithinkitsjustme · 20/10/2012 15:49

When I was a child I used to stay with my uncle and aunt regulary and loved them both to bits but since I grew up we have had very little contact. Recently i was told that they had split up by a family member, although it all seemed a bit hush hush. Today I found out on fb that he has been sentenced to prison for indecently assaulting young girls and it seems to have happened at around the time (in years) that I was staying with them. I have now read the newspaper article about the case and his family have all cut him off (don't blame them at all) although certainly I and my siblings were not aware of anything. Now I feel confused, I am absolutely disgusted by what he has done, and am very sorry for the girls involved but I also feel (unexpectedly) sorry for him. I never thought I would have any sympathy for anyone in this situation but I can't help it.

OP posts:
BloodRedAlienReflux · 20/10/2012 15:53

Nasty, have you been in touch with your Aunt? Sounds like she could use some support?

Ithinkitsjustme · 20/10/2012 15:55

No, I've only just (an hour ago) found out. I don't even know where she is living. She also will have a lot of suport from her own and my uncles family.

OP posts:
fuckadoodlepoopoo · 20/10/2012 15:55

I suppose you separate the man you used to know and like, and the awful things he has done. Its probably quite normal to feel that way, confusing though.

CailinDana · 20/10/2012 15:56

Wow tough situation. I can understand your sympathy because in your mind he is still the lovely uncle you remember. It's hard to imagine he could have done something so horrible. You aren't required to feel anything in particular about what he did, just try to process it as best you can. As Blood said, it might be worth contacting your aunt, who could end up quite isolated in a situation like this.

CailinDana · 20/10/2012 15:58

X posted. I wouldn't assume for one minute that your aunt has any support. When something like this happens people can become tarnished by association and I wouldn't be surprised if her friends and even her family are avoiding her, either out of disgust, a belief that she knew and didn't say anything or just from not knowing what to say.

uniqueatlast · 20/10/2012 16:07

I second CalinDana. Other family memebers and friends may well wonder how it all went on without her suspecting anything. As you stayed there around the time and experienced nothing untoward, you may be in a good position to understand and support her.

I'd get in tough if she was my aunt. hugs as I appreciate what a horrid situation this is for you.

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