To wonder what is the point of 'renewing your vows'?

[dolcelatte]

I recently went to see Hope Springs - Meryl Streep excellent as ever (although I now see her as Margaret Thatcher which distracted me slightly!) but the film was touching, poignant and well acted. However, I thought the ending was a bit contrived, albeit provided a 'feel good' factor when the middle aged couple reconnnected with each other and renewed their vows.

Nevertheless, given that the vows are 'until death us do part' and/or otherwise intended to be on a permanent basis, it does seem to me to be somewhat illogical to 'renew' them, in the way you would renew say a car or a washing machine.

Has anyone done this and, if so, why - for example had you broken your vows or did you just feel that you wanted to make a duplicate public (or private) gesture of commitment?

ravenAK, why not have an anniversary party then?

We are having a tenth anniversary mini party with friends who missed the wedding and our children. I will look amazing and have great hair unlike the birds nest I was sporting the first time around and we will go ski ing for the "honeymoon". There's a bit of a story there, DH only agreed to getting married so that we could get a week alone ski ing and then I changed my mind and decided I wanted a lovely summer wedding with good light instead lol

We are thinking of doing this, simply because we didn't have a proper reception (just a wedding breakfast) and we still (13 years later) feel we owe our friends a party!

Times have been financially tough and we haven't been able to afford to do it (either for our tenth wedding anninversay or combined wtth DS2's Christening)

Now we are thinking of doing it as part of our 15th Anniversary, and doing it "right" this time. We don't want presents, we just want to have our missing party so our friends can celebrate with us, and a renewal of vows would be a nice part of that.

DH has said he old like to do this for our 25th wedding anniversary.

He says that it amazes him that after all we have been through that, if he had his time again he would do exactly the same - he would marry me again today (presumably in spite of the grey hair, the irritability and the rise) and he would like to do the closest thing to that.

If it helps we deinately wouldn't want any presents, we would have it somewhere nice like Cliveden and we would pay for absoloutely everything.

I want to renew mine, I want to do it in Vegas. It sounds tacky and silly but I want to go there and Renew my vows with Elvis doing the ceremony bit, not even joking, I've told dh we're going it for our 10th anniversary.

:) for pagman.

your daughter could wear a fabulously cute dress.

so could mine, and i could go for a venue used for my friends wedding (i had to leave early as 40+3 at the time, just when the event was heating up like Midsummers Nights Dream) where there is camping space as well as hotels down the road in Tunny Wells.

basically i have been pg or with a small baby for every wedding for the past 7 years, and I deserve a Treat. seems a shame to celebrate your relationship once, and whilst your kids are small/ not born yet.

Yes. Definitely agree with the whole 'deserving a treat' thing

I always thought the Heidi /seal getting re-married each year was kind of sweet in a romantic yet jokey way. Until the whole break up....

My parents renewed when DM converted to
Catholicism (have a feeling my grandparents also did when my grandfather converted). Just family, religious service, nice lunch. My DF had had affairs too, but the renewal wasn't about that (and didn't stop it...
) but, they are still together now, have just celebrated 40 years and seem alot happier now.

Lots of lovely stories here. Feeling all soppy and sentimental.

had they had a pagan hand-fasting?

those are meant to be on constant renewal.

my brother had just renewed his hand-fast when SIL walked out.

though i still think it would be a great idea for us. i love a good party - i fancy something that would make BFGW look tasteful.

The cynic in me wonders which one of the couple cheated

Beograde - yes, I agree. I assume it's a marriage in trouble if they renew.

Aren't the Beckhams going to do it or have done it - still, I suppose that supports the theory in a way ie that there is a reason why.

God above. So if after 25 years of happy, affair free marriage we decided to renew our vows some crotchety arsed cynics would imediately think 'one of them is at it'

So lovely.

Marge and Homer renew their vows, it must be ok

End Of.

bangs gavel

I'm not sure about renewing something that is supposed to be forever, but I wholeheartedly think that having a celebration that is more than just a party can be a good way for couples to see how far they've come and give themselves a pat on the back, and any guest should feel 'good on them' too.

My friend does it every 5 years, which is excessive and not something I would do, but she feels it keeps them on the right track (very firey couple) so as their guest, despite it not being my thing, I always think 'good on them'.

When you first say your vows you're on a high, you mean them of course, but you're usually at your happiest as a couple. Marriage can be far more hard work than you think it will be. My marriage has required a lot of strength, far more than I expected, even though we love each other very much, life can be tough. If people feel the need to say "Hey, I meant my vows then, and I mean them still" well, good on them.

I'm another one who thinks 'oh, they must have had a massive row/affairs'. Mind you I'm yet to get married once...

How sad that some people are so cynical.

DH says he would quite like to do it for our 25th, we had a small wedding in a registery office 22 years ago and he has never worn a ring, he says he will after we reaffirm. wonder if we will, I am more tempted to just write some vows for ourselves, go somewhere beautiful and meaningful on our own and say them to each other, exchange rings (eternity ring for me) then have a massive party for all our friends. I would love a beautiful frock though as I had a suit first time not a wedding dress

Wondering why I said them the first time at the moment let alone renewing them!

oh girls

Eggy invoked Simpsons Law. This should be over.

I'm in the 'one of them was caught playing away club' too,

What is the point of renewing vows which are intended to last a lifetime unless one or t'other of them has been broken?

Thanks stepaway

I want to do it for mine and DH 10 year anniversary, in Vagas with elvis marrying us.