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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the dummy fairy is a total bastard?

24 replies

Softlysoftly · 19/10/2012 22:07

Big plans today DD1 is just turned 3, she only has dummy to sleep, today was the day the dummy fairy comes. Planned at her cousins house for a treat sleepover, fairy presents at the ready.

Now she's had to be picked up, can't settle. Is weeping loudly and DD2 already a fecking terrible sleeper (4m) is in bits as she can't drop off.

My nipples hurt from trying to feed DD2 to sleep and I can't comfort DD1.

AIBU to tell her the DFairy is coming another time and give her them back.

Ps am staying with my mum who keeps harrumphing and muttering about terrible timing Vs Dsis who talked me into it but didn't see the sleepover through. Gah!

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 19/10/2012 22:09

Am speaking with hindsight, which is a wonderful thing

But planning the Dummy Fairy when not in usual place of residence completely barking

I'd give back and try again in a couple of weeks

smalltown · 19/10/2012 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gordyslovesheep · 19/10/2012 22:13

YANBU - pick your battles - the fairy can wait until your DD2 is a better sleeper and you nips not so sore!

Original poster

Softlysoftly · 19/10/2012 22:13

I know bernard it was nuts yes? Doesn't help we are all in 1 room now fecking sister grumblegrumblemutter flippinglackofbackbonetotellsistertobuttout mumblegrinch.

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 19/10/2012 22:15

Oh God, give her the dummy

Are you NUTS planning dummy removal on Christmas Eve ?!?!?

Sokmonsta · 19/10/2012 22:18

We did dummy removal on Xmas eve. Hung them all on a little tree for dd (2.5). The fairy came and left her a special toy ready for bedtime. Father Christmas took them when he filled her stocking. Dd was so excited about her new toy and Father Christmas coming it distracted her from not actually having a dummy. Hoping Ds does as well this year although may be being optimistic.

notnowbernard · 19/10/2012 22:20

2 out of 3 of mine have had a dummy

They both stopped at 3 (my insistence)

A week of Hell

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2012 22:21

DD1 gave up her dummy on her third birthday, we'd never heard of the dummy fairy so just worked her up to it. I was dreading it, but thankfully it went off like a dream and never upset her one jot.

Now it's coming up to DD2 turning three in a few months and I'm not sure I can do it! I can't stand the thought of her being upset not getting the comfort she gets off it and me being the one to withhold it.

I was hunting round for DD1s dummy when she was ill at 8 YO totally forgetting she'd not had one for five years It was an instinctive reaction to try and comfort her.

Given you might be storing problems up for yourself at a later date, I would let the dummy fairy come back just this once (can you weave it into the story that they can only do it one time?) and prepare yourself for it when you're better placed and not at your mums?

Original poster

Softlysoftly · 19/10/2012 22:28

Dummy Fairy has been told to call back later, and peace reigns.

DD1 is now sleeping with a smile that looks a little smug

DD2 is having her daily 2 hrs of sleep :(

Mother is drinking tea and looking smug

Sister shall be avoided until I have the strength.

Nips are on ice

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 19/10/2012 22:29

Give her 2 weeks to forget it

Then just go cold turkey

Ithinkitsjustme · 19/10/2012 22:33

Wait until she's ready to give it up. No point in making a big song and dance over it, who cares if she has a dummy until she is 4 (don't like seeing lids running round the street with them, but it's none of my business) we tried the whole "Santa will bring you presents but 3 yo DD2 was so distressed about Santa coming that we decided to forget it for 2 months, by which time she had chosen a "special" soft filled Build a Bear that goes to bed with her instead. When she decides that she is a big girl now, she'll give it up with no problem. Don't make a rod for your own back - well that's my advice anyway.

crookedcrock · 19/10/2012 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 19/10/2012 22:36

Why do you want her to lose the dummy?

hugoagogo · 19/10/2012 22:38

It was never gonna work away from home.

You might want to try it before christmas-my dc always struggle to get to sleep christmas eve anyway without having to give up their comforts.

You could get her to swap it for one of these?

beanandspud · 19/10/2012 22:43

DS announced completely out of the blue at 6:30pm on a bank holiday that he was leaving his dummy for the dummy fairy that night and that the dummy fairy was bringing him a scooter .

Cue frantic trip to late night supermarket to get a scooter followed by much swearing at scooter trying to assemble it at midnight.

To be fair, DS gave up the dummy that night and never again asked for it but I do wish we'd had some warning.

Sorry OP, that maybe doesn't help except to say that they will give them up when they are ready and make sure that you have appropriate reward hidden away

knittedslippersx3 · 19/10/2012 22:44

We left ours for Father Christmas to give to the baby elves on Christmas Eve. We had a few failed attempts before this. I worked brilliantly, wrote a note to FC asking him to give the dummies to the baby elves and he wrote one back saying the baby elves would be very happy and he left a special big girls present in return.

AdoraBell · 19/10/2012 22:49

I'm sure I heard the fairy say she was so busy collecting all the dummies from big girls that she may not get around to everyone tonight so she'll get through the backlog over the next few weeks, probably catch up with you when you're at home

Graceparkhill · 19/10/2012 22:51

DS1 ( now 20) had dummy until almost 4. At the time that seemed really old and embarrassing .

He has perfect teeth,never needed any orthodontics and is laid back to the point of being soporific.

From memory we went for the harm reduction approach - refusing to buy replacements ( at one point he had a wardrobe of dummies) until the last one wore out.

DS2 refused any attempts to give him a dummy and he too is fine and dandy with lovely teeth.

Do not put anymore pressure on yourself and bring back the dummy!

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2012 22:57

at beanandspud's savvy DS.

That's lovely Adora It's what DC like to hear, reassuring and has a backstory.

AgentZigzag · 19/10/2012 22:59

Adora, but then you'd have to think of why the dummy fairy wasn't able to get round to everyone, why she wasn't organised enough and run up a backlog, how will she know they'll be at home and not at OPs mums, whether they're related to the tooth fairy, and what dust particles are made from ()

Turquoiseblue · 19/10/2012 23:04

We tried quite a few times but dd would get so upset that it was a non runner - then over the last few weeks I ve done a lot of chats and conversations involving telling dd how she didn't really need the dummy anymore cos she was a big girl and how ye dummy fairy would take it and she could then go the the Disney store with mummy and pick a big girl present. Then one night we couldn't locate the dummy and she just sighed and said oh well mummy I m a big girl now off he went to bed and went to sleep (I had also chatted to her about how she would be able to sleep cuddling her bunny without the dummy etc ) so I do feel the power of suggestion helped and she managed to get rid if it and feel she was partof the decision to get rid of it (albeit with bribery lol) she s 3.
Good luck and please take sleep where you can - feck it you can get rid of the dunmy when you ve energy to cope with the sleepllessness. Give your SIL the heave ho at for now
Btw my good pal is a pedodontist and she said to get rid of it by the age of 3. So I didn't feel too bad then!

Original poster

Softlysoftly · 19/10/2012 23:33

Thank you all! Some positive stories to give me hope.

Exit cannot even remember prob a mixture of all her friends having junked them + mum saying her inability to say Ts is from the dummy.. Although she only has it as the end of the day and always takes it out to talk. Her speech is advanced (HV not me!) and the dentist never mentioned an issue. So I would say peer pressure .

bean brilliant

Just endured 30minutes of DM telling me she doesn't know why us young mothers are in such a rush after all I'm not walking round weeing my pants with a dummy in am I? mind you add some glow sticks and narcotics and that was the 90s.

OP posts:

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 19/10/2012 23:42

dummy fairies can forget the odd dummy.

dd had a bottle fairy. it did work, but over the length of a week. she left a little something everyday til the habit was broken.

UniS · 19/10/2012 23:43

give her her dummy and keep fairy stuff till your at home and girls in separate bedrooms.

I didn't bother with the fairy stuff, just told boy that he could have the USB mouse of his dreams when he was a big enough boy to not use a dummy. That very night he ditched the dummy... And I had to work out how to get the mouse to our house ASAP.

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