Am I precious pregnant lady? School.

[ZovutZovut]

I'm 31 weeks and blessed with a pretty smooth second pregnancy, however I'm starting to feel the need to protect myself from work impacting on it. I don't think I'm being precious, am I?
I'm deputy head/ senco/ ppa cover/ nqt mentor and cover... and pretty much anything else going. If it needs doing it seems to revert to me.
I've put my foot down on playground duty this week. tbh honest I could just about manage my own (though not great) but everyone else's cover is really impacting on my tiredness and weeing/ eating needs. I'll get in early with the surprise of covering a class (having arrived a little late due to ongoing sickness) 20 min later only to have gate duty dropped on me for the 15min before school starts. Stress. I'm a good teacher but not wonder woman able to pull out a lesson plus resources from any year group from nursery to year 6 on the spot. Then I'll be stuck in class unable to wee with no TA and high needs, only to have break duty and have to some how hold it from 8.45 until noon. I think this has caused a recent kidney infection as I end up drinking less to manage. So I get headaches too. Also, it may be seen as precious, but I don't want to have my bump in the middle of rowdy playtime football/ races in a tiny playground. The kids mean well and are lovely but accidents happen (and parents fight at pick-up but that's another story...) Nor do I like swollen ankles. I know people stand a lot more in their jobs but I'm shattered, I'm desperate for a tea/ loo/ 5 min of silence. If my colleagues were more considerate I'd wing it, but 'SMT' are the enemy whatever you do- last week I had to actually had to shout to get someone to cover the playground for 1 min while I went to the loo as I was about to wet myself in desperation (shivering didn't help) and no one would pop out when I asked nicely. I'm the only bloody SMT member at the moment (the Head is at a neighbouring school, just directing more and more cover/ delegating from afar)
I'm hormonal but I feel like everyone's dumping ground, even when I was off for a few days ill (kidney infection and the only time off) I have loads of emails along the lines of 'where is x' 'you didn't do y'.
I feel like throttling someone and I'm way to close to the end of my tether where I have a hormonal rant/ break down at someone. In assembly today I was acutely aware of boring 240 kids shitless en masse because I was so tired and un-animated.
I'm snappy with the kids, forgetting things and it's all piling up around me. Plus our SEN needs have exploded and Im trying to pass through a million and one things before I go off and am struggling with paperwork relating to referrals, statutory assessment (think paperwork an inch thick) etc whilst dealing with amazingly difficult chats with parent whilst nearly being too tired to focus on them. Or dealing with behaviour issues (rarely those of the children though!)
I'm sitting with my own (not done) risk assessment because what's the bloody point in it being created when no one will look at it. Plus trying to arrange maternity cover for myself whilst everyone carping on about the budget (PM me if you know someone who will do my job for under 10k and then they'll be happy in the LEA....)
Everyone else seems to be on the view it's business as usual when pregnant, and I've pretty much managed it. And yes as someone muttered, I'm pregnant not ill but I feel like being a precious hormonal pregnant woman now and just going over the edge. Everyone has the view that management have it easy anyway, but during my previous pregnancies I did have a class and I didn't feel so stressed.

Is it me not coping? Is it school that's the issue?

tethersend, you made me smile again. 'There are no indispensable people' is my catch phrase I'm known for when manhandling guiding sick staff off the site for some rest whilst they recite their planning in minute detail in a whisper. Quoting Stalin balances out the niceness from SMT and avoids confusion

I''m aware of giving away too much info with my ranting, but no ML is not yet arranged

you aren't being precious-but you DO need to start opening your gob. If necessary get a note from your GP suggesting you would be better not doing playground duty if your head is arsey.
Your colleagues need to realise that they either cut you a bit if slack or you'll end up off sick and then they'll really struggle. Also give your OH a bloody good kick up the arse. You are going to have a newborn and a toddler. Speaking from bitter experience. It is hard-you need support, not a silent partner.

I would start your mat leave. As others have said, you are NOT indispensable, however dedicated etc you are to the kids and to your job. You're clearly not coping. Enjoy the rest.

And Fanjo- Two teenagers, a newborn and a toddler to be exact.

Self-inflicted madness.

Glad you are smiling again.

ZovutZovut have some non alcoholic

Its Friday and almost half term. You are entitled to feel fed up.

I worked in a school while pregnant and its really hard. I ended up injuring myself as I tried to go the extra mile. Dd is almost three and half years old and I still suffer occassional joint pain.

I think you need to look at your risk assessment and say what is realistic. Schools will push and push and sometimes you have to just be selfish.

A risk assessment is really for you to think what you can and can't do. Its rare that it ever gets looked at.

ML isn't arranged yet?

Do you mean that you've given them your dates and they haven't yet appointed or that dates haven't been arranged? Do Payroll know you are going on ML?

The problem is that these are issues relating to poor management, not the rest of the staff. Your school is undermanaged and under staffed by the sounds of it. Be careful about blaming the teachers, it is not their fault, and if they are lacking TA support etc, they will not be feeling good about their work situation either. The issues of management need to be sorted out for the sake of pupils too.

Lol my Dad's catchphrase is, "Sure the graveyards are chokka block with indispensable people!"

True when you think about it.

Not appointed, I'm very well behaved and gave my intended start date for ML when I was only 9 weeks to all relevant parties.

I'll probably be alright, but I will take onboard, I think this is a lot of just being a Friday snap/ mini-breakdown.

goinnowhere, there is a real range with the staff. We have the saints, the experienced teachers all the way to the ones that other schools would have managed out years ago to high turnover supply. What we don't have is a team, it's become a little dog-eat-dog.

If you don't want to go off sick, then maybe your risk assessment is the way to start? If you are expected to fill it in yourself then write yourself out of playground duty and anything else you might need. Who cares if the other staff don't like it, you'll be away on mat leave soon enough.

I really don't understand why women on their second pregnancies are supposed to be able to do more than on their first. It's obvious that it's going to be harder if you have to look after a young child when you get home and have broken nights or early mornings. So make sure DH is pulling his weight too.

Hope you feel better for a good rant, shame about the high needs, high heels confusion nearly derailing the thread but it made me

Ah well, ML cover is their problem then. Press the Fuck It button

Is the executive head type arrangement a permanent one or are they still recruiting?

Break is directed time, so direct your staff onto the playground.

To be honest, most of what you say just sounds like working in a school. Just had a member of my team go off at 37 weeks instead of 39 because the travel between two sites and then between classrooms 1/4 of a mile apart on one site became too much. Your school sounds pretty awful, but you are SLT so I suppose you have to take some of the responsibility for that.

Dog eat dog is sad, but too late in your pregnancy for you to do much. You need to think about yourself more-I felt like you with my last pregnancy, snowed under, neglected and eventually unproductive and a poor leader.
I chose (wisely I feel ) to go off sick for my last 6 weeks as I couldn't walk with SPD either. I spent those weeks eating crisps, convincing the toddler to nap do I could watch endless Jeremy Kyle and baby story episodes. Bliss. Just go off, life's too short

Look after yourself and your baby.

I'm not trying to scare you but this is my story. I worked in a high pressure job (think LA, Agents of Doom sort of thing) when pregnant with ds2. We were short staffed. My risk assessment was ignored. I had the largest case load of anybody. I used to get home and cry in the car - dh had to physically help me into the house. At 32 weeks I was made to travel across the country to a very demanding court case. I should have said no. I should have gone off sick. I should have demanded the risk assessment be adhered to. Five days after that court trip I had a midwife appointment. No heartbeat.

My beautiful boy was stillborn the following day.

I blame myself - if I hadnt worked so hard and so relentlessly maybe I could have prevented it. Maybe I could have noticed something wasnt right. Although I wasn't in the same role as you, I could have written a very similar post to yours at the same point in my pregnancy. I wish I had.

I'm not for one minute suggesting this will happen to you OP but you MUST put yourself and your baby first. Because nobody else will. You are clearly stressed to hell, and the more you do the more people expect you to do. You either need to put your foot down (or feet up!) at work and tell people that actually you can't do x, y or z - get a doctor or midwife to back you up, or just get yourself signed off sick.

Good luck to you, I hope it works out for you (and I hope I haven't offended anybody with my post - I just want to get across that its just a job. Your health and your baby is far more important) x

You should ask to discuss with your senior/line manager presumably the head - if no solution is possible you need to go off sick. Whilst off sick you can discuss if there is anyway you can continue to work with different working arrangements otherwise stay off sick - this will not affect your maternity pay/leave and speaking as a doctor myself I think few would worry about signing you off for a few weeks. Try something relaxing every day when you are at home even if only 5 mins I know it seems impossible but you need to make some time for yourself as it isn't going to get easier when the newborn comes and your sanity is crucial to everyone in the house.

I went off sick with my first 4 weeks early as i couldn't take it anymore there is no shame in putting yourself first.

good luck!!

IAmNotACaterpillar, I am so so sorry to hear your story. I think with successful pregnancies behind me I can be blase. I not at all offended, it's perspective for me. This is a much loved child, not a bump. I can't even comprehend how hard it must have been for you to never see your son awake, I will respect what you have said and take it to heart. It really wasn't your fault, if I could give one think it would be to take away the 'maybes' for you.
Thank you.
Sorry if I've phrased this post poorly, but I'm touched you have shared this.

caterpillar, that's a dreadful thing to happen.

It's up to YOU how you deal with the situation, no-one else can see inside your head and say, "ooh, she seems stressed, I'll do playground duty!"
IMO you're right not to go off sick - you aren't actually ill. At least take mat leave earlier, then yon can do it with a clear conscience. This is why we have mat leave, after all. I ws made redundant 2 days before I had DD, so am slightly jaded, but seriously, it's a contract no more and no less.
at the very very least you SHOULD, frankly, grow a pair. TELL your colleagues that there IS a new rota for playground duty. And action it. You're the boss, for gods sake ACT like it.

No problem, ZovutZovut - I really hope you are OK. I have since had my little girl (and ironically got myself signed off really early in that pregnancy because I was in a new role and my colleague wrapped me in so much cotton wool I was soooooo bored!)

Look after yourself and your baby x

Yes you do sound precious. Take early maternity leave or do your job. Pregnancy is a condition not an illness.

But stress IS a sickness- and you are more than entitled to go off sick with it rather than using your mat leave. Nothing to be ashamed of or anything to not give you a clear conscience

Lots of good advice up thread... Just read Caterpillar´s thread - Caterpillar my heart goes out to you.

OP, my feeling is your first responsibility can only be towards your own health and that of your unborn child. When you´ve taken those needs into account you do the best you possibly can in your work.

Not drinking enough because you don´t have the opportunity to use the loo is shocking. When you can´t manage this you are not currently in a position to be responsible for a school. It´s hardly surprising you´re overwhelmed.

Being pregnant is not synonymous with being ill, as your enlightened colleague pointed out. But it can still kill you or be life threatening. Almost losing a baby at this late stage through stress (my experience) isn´t an illness either. So, should you just roll up your sleeves and get on with it???

There are countries where ML MUST start from the 8th month of pregnancy; a mark of a enlightened society IMHO, with the wellbeing of pregnant women and infants central...

"Take early maternity leave or do your job. Pregnancy is a condition not an illness."

Those are not the only two options, Ginda

Sickness, including stress, can be exacerbated by pregnancy. As happy as I am for you that you had (I can only assume) straightforward pregnancies, I feel duty-bound to point out that you sound a little pious in that last post. Pregnancy, especially towards the end is tough for the vast majority of women. To pretend otherwise is a little disingenuous.

Ginda, how would you feel about going through your working day without a drink and not being able to use the toilet. Would that be just fine with you or might it impact on your ability to do your job?

Also, FYI, according to the World Health Organisation:

"Every minute, at least one woman dies from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth ? that means 529 000 women a year. In addition, for every woman who dies in childbirth, around 20 more suffer injury, infection or disease ? approximately 10 million women each year."

But heh.. pregnancy is not an illness, so what does it matter!?

That´s what my sibling told me when I was pregnant. I didn´t even bother telling her I almost lost the baby. Because some people are so ignorant it´s not even worth trying to reason with them.