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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To straighten my 2 year olds hair?

132 replies

FannyFifer · 19/10/2012 20:03

My 2 year old dd has really frizzy wispy hair, it's quite long but looks very thin and straggly, like mine.

I was doing my hair a few weeks ago and she was watching so I did her hair with the GHD's as well.

I put the heat spray on first, but is it really bad??

I have to admit it looked so much better, i usually have to put it in a pony tail as she never looks tidy.

I did it again today for the second time, once every few weeks is ok though, isn't it?

Awaits flaming.

OP posts:

Binkyridesagain · 19/10/2012 21:00

There's no need to tame frizzy hair using straightening irons. I have frizzy hair that on some days looks like a cross between Helen Bonham carter and Diana Ross, a wash with conditioner only, a squeeze to get rid of water and no rubbing with a towel tends to sort it out if it needs a little more help the I use some hair oil.

notactuallyme · 19/10/2012 21:01

dowagershump what's wrong with hairdressers? Mine have all gome since they were tiny

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:02

Stacey I would do it the minute a dc came home upset about it.

Thank you property :)

Ephiny · 19/10/2012 21:02

(I would not have a problem with helping an older child safely remove body/facial hair if they wanted to though - I wish my mum had too, it would have helped not harmed my self-esteem IMO)

Surely not an issue for 2 year olds though?

brdgrl · 19/10/2012 21:02

(Don't really want to go into THAT whole debate, but...while I haven't done either, circumcision at least has religious and (debatable) health reasons behind it).

Straightening your child's hair or waxing their unibrow? Sure, the immediate effect is temporary, but the message will stay with them forever.

Don't teach your child that curly hair is something to be "managed", please. Teach them that it is beautiful.

PropertyNightmare · 19/10/2012 21:03

MrsRhett, you are right. I had hairy arms (I mean really hairy!) as a child. I don't anymore (I shaved them at about 18, I now wax them). I never looked back. Seriously, wish I had done it at 11.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 19/10/2012 21:05

MrsRhettButler I can understand if they want something done but just a blanket statement of 'I would wax my child if they had a unibrow' will obv gather a response of

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:06

couthy's advice for dealing with hair is very good btw. I have very frizzy curly hair and although I straighten it nowadays that was mainly how I used to treat my hair when it was curly. It definitely works.

PropertyNightmare · 19/10/2012 21:06

Funnily enough I am against plastic surgery though. I can't think of anything more destructive than fake breasts for cosmetic (not medical) reasons.

brdgrl · 19/10/2012 21:07

I was teased - a lot - for my pale, pale skin and my frizzy curly hair. I would have changed my hair in a heartbeat. (I love it now and can see in photos how beautiful it really was!) My DD has hair that is possibly even curlier than mine was, and I expect she'll endure her share of teasing.

But I do think that if your child is teased at school because other kids' parents have taught them a certain feature is ugly or undesirable, and then you "fix" it for your child, you're firstly, confirming for them that the other people were right to tell them that they were ugly ("but don't worry - we can hide it!") AND adding to the social problem by just being one more family that conforms and hides their difference.

Sirzy · 19/10/2012 21:08

I think there is a big difference between helping with hair removal when they are old enough to be concious of it and straightening the hair of a 2 year old.

DowagersHump · 19/10/2012 21:08

Oh, nothing wrong with taking a child to a hairdresser per se but this:

"My DDs hair was terrible at that age. Always looked messy and so flyaway. And tying it up all the time made it worse.

When she was almost three I straightened it a few times on a low heat. Then took her to the hairdressers and she used GHDs on it! So after that I used full heat. Its maybe been straightened 10 times in total.

Its now much better. Gets blow dried and sits perfect. It didnt damage hers at all. "

all is kinds of wrong.

MrsRhettButler - what if your DD had something you couldn't fix by ripping the hair out of her face (let's not fudge it)? How about a birth mark? Or a hair lip? Or that her skin was a different colour to her classmates?

How far are you prepared to go to make your child 'fit in'? Or will you just equip your child with the tools to deal with it?

It's vile that children took the piss out of you. But that is no reason to subject children to horribly painful procedures. It's the thinking behind circumcision actually - the arguments on here are all about fitting in and looking the same as their dad.

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:08

Sorry stacey should have said if it was a problem but let's face it, any kid with a monobrow is going to get teased.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/10/2012 21:09

While I think it's a damn shame on many levels that you think it's OK to to straighten your toddler's hair :(

At the same time, I am a bit eye rolly at these people who say "any woman who does anything more than leave their hair to dry and brush it with a willow twig is an idiot" too.

I'll do what I want with my own hair thanks!

PumpkInDublic · 19/10/2012 21:09

CouthyMow has phrased it perfectly "Why not teach them to embrace themselves for who they are?"

This should be on the agenda for any parent.

PropertyNightmare · 19/10/2012 21:09

Thing is though mono-brows are not a good look. Not in any universe. Fighting the good fight on that one is a bit pointless really.

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:13

Dowagers obviously I would teach her that she is beautiful with a birthmark, hairlip etc and would support her and help lift her self esteem. I do think facial hair is different though because its something that people can and do remove daily and in every walk of life.

DowagersHump · 19/10/2012 21:14

No. They are children.

If they want to do something about their 'monobrow' when they're older, then they will talk to you about it but don't impose your sad ideas of 'beauty' on your poor children

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 19/10/2012 21:14

I'm not sure a monobrow is an immediate pass to teasing tbh. My dd has a strawberry birthmark in the middle of her forehead. She's 8yo and has not been teased yet. I'm not sure what i would do if she was as she's spent too much of her little life in hospitals without sending her for laser surgery. I think it's more likely we'd work on her self esteem and quick come backs

ItWillSoonBeChristmas · 19/10/2012 21:14

FFS, She is 2 years old! Leave her hair alone.

mudipig · 19/10/2012 21:14

Mine had a bald shiny head until 2 and a half. She was beautiful. Some of her friends had mad scientist hair. It's fine.

Wouldn't in a million years risk burning and scarring mine - because they do move quickly and unpredictably. For what? She won't care if she's two. So it can only be for you.

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:15

Do you know what, I've thought about it a bit more and if I'm perfectly honest with myself I think I would wax a 2yo's monobrow.

DowagersHump · 19/10/2012 21:16

MrsRhett - I did my degree with a woman with very obvious facial hair. She was very popular then and is still a very lovely woman and happily married with two children.

Your experience is not universal.

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:16

I'm talking very thick, complete monobrow btw not just a couple of stray hairs.

MrsRhettButler · 19/10/2012 21:19

I undertsand that dowagers I know not everyone has a problem with it as I do but I can't help being a bit sensitive about it and it would break my heart if dd felt as I did about it and didn't know what to do. At one point in my teenage life it was a HUUGE thing for me and made me very miserable and if I'm perfectly honest my facial hair wasn't even that bad its just that once the teasing started it never stopped.

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