AIBU to be a tad [hmm] about my neighbours new car?

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

First off, this is absolutely NOT a benefits bashing thread.

I am probably BVU and this will show me up to be a nasty, mean spirited and bitter aul crone, BUT my neighbours just took delivery of a brand new car today- (think 3 letter, premium marque) - which they receive AFAIK through the motibility scheme. (Where I live this is very common practice.) Neither of them work and presumably receive benefits and HB. They definitely rent their house as we know the owner.

My DH and I were both high earning professionals before the recession hit and paid a very considerable sum for our own house, unfortunately we were both made redundant (within weeks of each other) several years ago and have fought tooth and nail to keep our home (both working very low paid unskilled jobs, taking in lodgers and DH moving away for a year to retrain.)

Obviously we are very fortunate to have been able to hold on to our home but it has been an incredibly tough few years- the pressures of redundancy, unemployment, and being on the breadline have taken a massive toll on our mental health, wellbeing and relationships- both with each other and family/friends.
My DH came home today soaked through after being out all afternoon in the pouring rain selling electricity door to door.

As I said upthread this is not a benefits bashing thread- I am fully aware that being on benefits is no picnic- DH and I spent 6 months on the dole and it was beyond grim, however AIBU to want to weep out of frustration seeing my neighbours new beemer parked in the driveway??

meant to say my life on my worst enemy lol, it's late

TBH I am mortified at how I have come across and I really regret this post.

My sister is 26, she has a 3 yo and a 2yo. 11 months ago she was in hospital with left sided weakness, she could hardly walk or raise her arm (she is left handed!), tests showed that she had MS. Depending on the day you see her you might not think she has a disability- 20% of the time she cannot walk around her flat well at all so stays home 60% of the time she walks with a stick and the remaining time she can walk unaided.

She gives up her DLA to which she is entitled for an automatic car that has been adapted to her needs so she can still drop kids to nursery and go to work, even on the not so good days where she has to use a stick she can still manage but if not for the car it would be too much for her to walk from house- bus stop, bus stop - nursery, nursery - bus stop, bus stop - work.

Would be easier really if she didn't work as it tires her out a lot (she could be around to look after the goat all day!) but she doesn't want to feel useless- the car allows that.

Just because someone is not in a wheelchair/have a limb missing or some other obvious sign of disability does not mean that they are not disabled.

Yes I have to admit my SIL fits the category of someone who gets a new car every 3 years top of the range. She can't walk and needs a carer and cleaner until she is in the airport and then suddenly she doesn't need her crutches anymore and does all sorts of stuff on holiday. She stays with our cousin in Portugal and their whole family have commented on this.
I'm sorry but this does kind of taint my view of the benefits system whether others like it or not.

Yes plastic I absolutely agree. I have made a real mess of this thread.

what bothers me with threads like this is, in encouraging healthy conversation the disabled feel so defensive they attack those who are in similar circumstances.

Plastics sisters needs also indicated her car, just like ours does with us. There are less automatic cars on Motability and the adaptations need paid for.

But surely as well as the approx £10,000 received by motability via loss of high rate dla, they also get to sell the 3yo car after the lease period has ended? I'm sure that it is a self sustaining scheme or it would have gone bye bye by now, no idea how much a 3yo bmw would go for, but I'm thinking not peanuts .

I don't think many people would want to give up their health for the sake of a new car, you did choose to take on a huge mortgage, just shows that just because you earn a high wage, you won't always do so.

One thing that does puzzle me though (dons flameproof suit) why does the lease end after 3 years and you get another brand new car, would it not be more sensible to keep the existing car until it is knackered, but forfeit less dla? I'm sure there is a reason, but it's not obvious to me.

Fucking hell, how many people put there are jealous of MOTABILITY cars, that people have to give up their DLA? And they are only ALLOWED to keep them for 3 years, or the motability scheme loses too much resale value.

They basically rent the car with their DLA.

Jealousy is a disgusting thing to behold.

If you want their car so much, do you want their disability the same amount?

"One thing that does puzzle me though (dons flameproof suit) why does the lease end after 3 years and you get another brand new car, would it not be more sensible to keep the existing car until it is knackered, but forfeit less dla? I'm sure there is a reason, but it's not obvious to me."

3-year leases on cars are standard in fleets (which is what Motability is, effectively). After this age faults become more common, and it is generally reckoned, across the board, that it the total cost of ownership for the fleet, taking into account the cost of breakdowns, cost of repairs, managing repairs, etc., to buy a new car and keep it for 3 years than any longer.

After 3 years, for instance, an MOT is required.

"Fucking hell, how many people put there are jealous of MOTABILITY cars, that people have to give up their DLA? And they are only ALLOWED to keep them for 3 years, or the motability scheme loses too much resale value.

They basically rent the car with their DLA. "

Well to be fair that's not necessarily a bad thing. Cars are a massive money sink whichever way you look at them, and if you buy a new car for £20k then after 3 years you might only get £7k for it, so actually renting a car is a good thing.

Talk to me about renting houses, and I would agree that it's a fair point, but in terms of car use, renting is by no means a bad thing - you lock in a fixed cost, you don't have to worry about depreciation, resale value, upfront cost, interest, etc.

Ahh thankyou skippy, makes sense.

Couthy will you not accept that sometimes the system is abused?

I'm not jealous at all btw Couthy, as it stands I have zero chance of even affording lessons, never mind owning a car. I will take the bus, although the smug little twats in their Mummy's 4x4 shouting insults to people at bus stops can fuck off and die (actually happened). I don't begrudge anyone a motability car.

Please delete this thread MNHQ.

As is doing the double, subletting council houses,claiming to be a single parent whilst living with a partner, walking with a stick in public and bragging about it down the pub. This is what I am frustrated with and I accept that this wasn't clear in my op.

So why are you on here moaning about them instead of reporting them through the proper channels? Really? I don't expect an answer, though I hope for one.

Same thing on the open market would be about 50% more expensive.

And you would own your car. People do not own Motability cars, they are rented.

Skippy- a good deal for a car is not worth being fucking disabled for.

The bottom line

My DD can't speak and needs 24/7 care.

But hey it's worth it because we get 200 quid a month towards a car.

Er, nobody said it was?

No, you just banged on about it being a great deal for a car.

It isn't.

Fwiw OP I completely understand your frustration with working your guts off and feeling that sometimes benefits are abused. I think that's an honest human reaction. Expressing gives people the chance to explain more

I have massive sympathy with people needing benefits for disability and also agree that often the true impact of their disability goes unrecognised. They must also be sick to the teeth of benefit bashing, feeling the need to prove their disability, feeling the need to defend their disability and just coping with it.

However to say the benefit system is not abused and leap on any poster who suggest there may be cases where it is, is understandable IMO but not rational.

There will be cases where it is abused and those cases are causing the bad feeling for everyone else. I think the abuse is (hopefully) minimal but the witch hunt is rife and here lies the problem.

OP sounds like she has had a tough time. Disability is not a trumps game against any other misery in life. You may feel double redundancy and the threat of losing your house are nothing but they'd certainly tip me into desperate emotions.

There's a high rate abuse of DLA here? News to me. Tell me how I can get in on it as I am too ill to work full time but to well to get DLA.

My mother in law has a mobility car. Her and father in law just got back from holiday. Shall she send it back and be trapped at home as, obviously, people with disabilities shouldn't ever have nice things.

I don't think it is unreasonable to feel envious/jealous/bitter or anything else. But be careful how you manage those feelings, because it isn't any of your business how your neighbours came by their new car and, as you have admitted, you don't know the details of their finances so are actually resorting to assumptions and icing these with your own tales of woe. So in effect you are making yourself miserable for absolutely no reason. Which is silly. Focus more on your own life.

Good post toothbrushthief

Please have my van but take my disability to but sure you don't want

Oh and down payment in a van was just over 4 thousand as well as giving up my DLA

DLA is used to pay for the car, they either get a car every 3 years or DLA.
My mil gets DLA, she has hip displacia.
She found it very hard to get the benefits she was entitled to but Bil also gets DLA, and he IS working the system.
He claims it for a bad back, but can lift my kids on his shoulders and play horsey for hours- you can tell theres nout wrong with him and people like him do make me angry as its those that are like him that make claiming hard.
But op, you know nothing of what disability
your nbr has- unless you really know them so don't judge.