AIBU to be a tad [hmm] about my neighbours new car?

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

First off, this is absolutely NOT a benefits bashing thread.

I am probably BVU and this will show me up to be a nasty, mean spirited and bitter aul crone, BUT my neighbours just took delivery of a brand new car today- (think 3 letter, premium marque) - which they receive AFAIK through the motibility scheme. (Where I live this is very common practice.) Neither of them work and presumably receive benefits and HB. They definitely rent their house as we know the owner.

My DH and I were both high earning professionals before the recession hit and paid a very considerable sum for our own house, unfortunately we were both made redundant (within weeks of each other) several years ago and have fought tooth and nail to keep our home (both working very low paid unskilled jobs, taking in lodgers and DH moving away for a year to retrain.)

Obviously we are very fortunate to have been able to hold on to our home but it has been an incredibly tough few years- the pressures of redundancy, unemployment, and being on the breadline have taken a massive toll on our mental health, wellbeing and relationships- both with each other and family/friends.
My DH came home today soaked through after being out all afternoon in the pouring rain selling electricity door to door.

As I said upthread this is not a benefits bashing thread- I am fully aware that being on benefits is no picnic- DH and I spent 6 months on the dole and it was beyond grim, however AIBU to want to weep out of frustration seeing my neighbours new beemer parked in the driveway??

Surely to be considered fit and well enough to drive a car then disability can't impair driving, therefore most people who get motability probably work?

I would be surprised if it was safe for someone with serious physical health problems to drive.

economisextra
But lots of people on DLA are not just disabled, they are ill, with issues such as pain and chronic fatigue. Just because someone is okay to drive a few journeys a few times a week does not mean they are well enough to hold down a job. Few employers are flexible enough to make provision for a person who cannot guarantee they will be able to work when they are supposed to.
I work and get DLA but I'm essentially self-employed. If I need a kip in the afternoon or a few days off, I can do so. There are not many jobs like mine around.

You don't have to drive your own car. DS1 has been awarded higher rate mobility for life (which means he qualifies for the motability scheme). He will never be able to drive. He has a Motability car which I drive him around in.

Some cars are adapted to be driven from wheelchairs. Some cars have adaptations which remove the need for pedals.

I'm still confused.

I'm doing this face ATM

What are you trying to say econo

Economistextra

A car may be for a child. Or someone who can drive but, for example, could not stand for long periods of time.
I could list more but do you not see that there are whole swathes of medical conditions that mean you can drive yourself to the supermarket or a hospital appt but not be fit enough to work 40 hours a week?

Butch I am still not understanding what point ou are trying to make?

I've been keeping an eye on Employment threads on MN, precisely because of the "If you can do X, you must be able to do Y," argument.

So far, it looks like an average one day off sick a fortnight (ie 90% attendance) constitutes a sackable offence.

Of course if people are off every second Tuesday from 2pm to 5pm - for dialysis, say - that can often be managed as part-time work. But as Moomin says, few employers (or clients for the self-employed) can be flexible around sickness that has no schedule.

The point I was making was I wondered why the op was jealous as if the neighbours have a flash new car they are probably using it to drive to work as I would have thought benefits weren't enough to buy flash new cars. I doubt if someone with serious disability would be able to drive, if they can drive a flash car they are very likely working and good luck to them, why be jealous of someone else's hard work?!

Sock, that is shocking. I am so sorry that happened to your DS.

Economist, have you actually read the thread. Have you read the posts from people in receipt of DLA? Do you know anything about DLA at all or are you just trying to be contentious for the sake of it?

I think this is one of those situations where it would help if you read the thread.

Because I am waiting for my son to get home and rehearsing all the ways in which the op, by her own admission, was being unreasonable would take too long to rehash.

I think it is sad how some of judge people on face value, when you don't know what it is like to be that person on a day-to-day basis.
I'm sure most, if not all people would trade their car in return for being a healthy non-disabled person.

Seriously a select few of you on here should trade places with the people you envy.

Some of you-stupid phone!

Still doing this

I used to have a motability car. Husband and I both worked from home in our own business and were therefore around for school pickups etc.
A significant number of people assumed neither of us worked, and we were claiming every benefit under the sun, or that my disability was due to some accident that I'd got a massive payout for, (or that DH was some sort of dodgy crimelord geezer, but that's another story).
Anyway, these days we are doing okay and live in a house no-one would assume is funded by benefits. And I no longer choose to drive a motability car, because quite frankly, I got fed up of people making assumptions.
Things are not always how they seem OP.

Yabu and a knob

I have an intense dislike for BMWs now. Drat, I never even thought about them before this thread.
Econ you are talking out of your backside.

On a more serious note, some of the posts on this thread are heartbreaking.
Makes you wonder how nasty people can be to damage mobility cars. Truly awful.

'What is ATOS i have seen it on a few threads I don't think we have it (is it a company) in scotland, '

Oh, yes, they most certainly have ATOS doing assessments here in Scotland.

YY, the car could be used for a disabled child. We qualified at higher rate and could have got a car to drive her to all the hospital appointments she would have to have had, had she lived, as she was severely immuno-compromised due to her cancer treatment and the stem cell transplant that was done to try to save her little life.

But oh, well, it didn't. She died and now she's not costing the taxpayer anything so result, eh!

i personally think moomin should tell us the crime lord husband story.

Oh ATOS is Scotland is up to something particularly special.

It is taking government money for "medical assessments" for PIP (20% reduced successor to DLA). And paying NHS Lanarkshire to do the work for it. Minus a healthy slice for ATOS, of course.

And presumably to whatever questionnaire ATOS develop.

Expat, you and Aillidh are still regularly in my thoughts. Along with Rindercella and others on this thread.

Call me naive but I'm actually really shocked that people would go round vandalising cars because they are motability. Got me bloody wondering now - our last one got scratched right down one side, and scribble lines all over the doors. I never considered there might have been a motive!

Though, on the other hand my lovely but clueless son, played naughts and crosses on one, with an ice scraper, and let the handbrake off another and smashed a neighbours walls - the joys of a child who you cannot leave unsupervised for a second! Anyone wanna swap? 'Free' car included?

Sockreturningpixie
DH is as honest as the day but has a certain long-haired outlaw biker persona that attracts the more dodgy element. For instance he was once offerred a deal on a large quantity of drugs at the church beetle drive.

i know it shouldnt be moomin but thats brilliant

Sockreturningpixie, do you still live there now? :( my god I don't know what the hell is wrong with people :( I have very luckily never experienced any of the animosity, we get stared at and tutted at but I can cope with that, but physical and verbal abuse, nope :( Someone tried to break into my car on the hospital car park once but I assumed that was just random

expat, honestly take no notice. A lot of the blokes that post on these threads haven't even got kids, let alone ill or disabled ones

Oh expat and sockreturningpixie . Although, that is why threads like this are good in some ways, hopefully some MNers will have read the posts (even if they've not posted themselves) and altered their opinions on what DLA/motibility/life with a disability is really about.

So what if some people get a free house, car, helicopter, goat, rhinocerous etc. Anyone with a real disability or a disabled/terminally ill child would live in a hovel with no material goods whatsoever if it would cure them or their child. How can people be jealous of others in that situation?

my dd has a mobility car, she can't drive.
she doesn't work, so does that mean she should be judged?

It's not even free though, none of it is free. I don't get free carers allowance I bloody work damn hard doing my utmost best for someone I love. If it was paid employment I would have been given a promotion years ago as I am the best person at this job and no-one knows my patient better than I do