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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I own my mother?

77 replies

MichaelaS · 18/10/2012 17:29

I took a nap this afternoon and when I woke up my mother was a whole 2 feet away from me. She is supposed to be with me AT ALL TIMES. She muttered something selfish about putting washing away, but to be honest it was so ridiculous that I just let rip with my highest pitched "I am in incredible pain take me straight to A&E now or maybe I'm just upset" scream.

She seems to think its ok to put me down to play for 5 minutes whilst she goes for a wee too. Why can't I go with her? And honestly, all this needing to eat. She is only good for making milk and sleeping on and she only let's me do that for 23 hours a day.

AIBU?

Ps I am 6 months old and very good with her iPhone

OP posts:
Pickles101 · 18/10/2012 20:05

13wk old miniPickles stares at all the toddler tips with undying attention

RatherBeACyborg · 18/10/2012 20:11

MiniCyborg here (nearly 2). Wait till she isn't looking (when she blinks is good) and 'lose' things.

I've lost three phones so far. [smug]

RatherBeACyborg · 18/10/2012 20:12

Ooh and when she has left the room, climb something (bookcases & tv stands are good) then call for help. She'll coming running in a panic.

Rinse & repeat my friends.

GordonsAlive · 18/10/2012 20:56

SmallGA here, I am 13 weeks old and Mummy thinks she currently has what I think is known as an 'easy' baby. I've nearly got her... She'll relax soon and then WHAM! She won't know what hit her Grin I believe I'm due what known as a 4 month sleep regression thingy very soon! I can't wait! I'm getting tips from BiggerSmallGA who is currently STILL NOT ASLEEP and at 5 years old she should know all the tricks Wink

GOLDENLiquidAngel · 19/10/2012 08:43
whois · 19/10/2012 09:33

This is super hilarious!

MakeItALarge · 19/10/2012 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 19/10/2012 10:19

Love this thread, it is making me realise that although the baby stage is fab, being a 9yr old girl and almost 13yr old boy is so much better! The parents cant work us out at all!

Grin
AMumInScotland · 19/10/2012 10:23

Do make sure to add to the fun by playing "starfish" every time mummy wants to put clothes on you, or put you into that car-seat. Specially when she is in a hurry - those times she's running tound the house shouting "Where are the car-keys? Where's my phone? OhGodOhGod I'm late" are the best ones. And then you put every limb out stiffly in a different direction. Best if you scream, or just give a little whimper, when she tries to twist a limb into your coat. If you can then make that limb go limp for a few minutes you'll have her apologising for the next several hours and regretting trying to make you do anything.

RatherBeACyborg · 19/10/2012 10:32

Ooh and another one - when you're out, (this works well with daddy), shriek 'no, no, no' at the top of your lungs. Pulling away and looking scared adds to the fun. Daddy loves the way everyone turns to look and frown suspiciously. Grin

becstargazeypie · 19/10/2012 10:33

YANBU - you need to nip this in the bud, or before you know it she'll be taking a shower, eating her dinner while it's hot, and finishing her cup of tea. I recommend the tips on this Mumsnet classic: cutted up pear It taught me so much. Now that I'm 6 unfortunately I can't use poo, sick and screaming as weapons any more. Sigh. Those were such happy times... I am slowly rotting my Mum's brain with 'Power Ranger's Samurai' though. An episode a day is enough to make her want to chew off her own arm apparently. You just have to get more creative in your approach to keeping them on their toes the older you get...

From BecstarDS

piprabbit · 19/10/2012 10:37

I realise that my suggestion is something that is going to require long term planning and commitment from you - but I can assure you it will be well worth.

You need to work on being able to access and remove your own nappy. Once you can do this you are only a moment away from being able to stage your very own dirty protest.

Not only does a small amount of poo go a very long way, but it stains so will leave a permanent reminder to your DM of what will happen next time she is tempted to step out of line - Oh, and it's good fun too!

Fairyjen · 19/10/2012 10:41

You think you have problems!! Stupid bloody woman I live with is washing my blanky as we speak because it "smells" apperently and is "dirty". Of course it bloody is, that's jus how I like it! Takes ages for me to get it like that as well. And then to top it off I will have to wait for it to dry. She has told me to stop screaming as she has "man flu" I mean for gods sake if I can puke all day long and feel fine I don't see why she can't. She is supposed to be the adult after all.

Good luck to you that's what I say!

AudreyCox · 19/10/2012 10:51

Holding the poo in is fun enough but wait til you get to 2 and can put your hand in and pull the poo out to show visitors. This was especially funny because mummy had dressed me so girly and all the visitors were in the middle of saying how pretty I was!

FrothyDragon · 19/10/2012 10:55

Mini-Dragon here. (They let me on the interwebs at school, and I've hacked Mummy's Mumsnet account.)

YANBU. However, I echo the need to start crawling. However, this is not to play with plug sockets... By your age, I'd learnt the importance of hiding phones and keys. When you're old enough, may I suggest hijacking her phone whilst she's out of the room? She has a good game on there, where you press the letters and numbers, and there's a voice on the other end. The numbers beginning 0845n are the most fun, as they tell you to press other buttons, which is funny...

twolittlemonkeys · 19/10/2012 10:59

Hahaha - I was just about to link to the cutted up pear thread. Love it.

A good one once you can walk and talk is shrieking 'Help me! Help me!' when she tries to take your hand in the supermarket or other public place. That'll really get everyone staring and put her in her place!Grin

MrsReiver · 19/10/2012 11:20

I'm Master Reiver and I'm 8 - a tip for the future, and this will work for years, if your mother ever has the audacity to give you a row this is what you do.

Stare at the floor while she bangs on and on, concentrate really hard on filling your eyes with tears.

Look up at her through your eyelashes and say in your most plaintive voice "I'm sorry mummy, I'll never do it again."

Works a treat every time, you get a immediately forgiven and an enormous hug, then Mum feels so guilty for giving you a row you can get away with bloody murder for the rest of the day.

There's apparently an even Smaller Reiver coming in February - I hope that doesn't alter the arrangements too much, I do enjoy having Mum wrapped round my litter finger.

becstargazeypie · 19/10/2012 12:17

MasterReiver, yes I work that one well too. In fact I recommend upping the stakes with crying until it sounds like you're going to be sick. I've found you can make this sound in your room, while building Lego, or reading a book, you just keep the sound going while you're playing. Word of warning - if your mum quietly pops her head around the door and sees that you're actually perfectly happily playing while making that wailing sound, she can become suspicious. Learn from my mistakes.
From BecstarDS

WitchesTit · 19/10/2012 12:28

Poor you!
You are only trying to do what's best for you both!

A loud alarm call whenever your Mum tries to do anything that doesn't involve cuddling or feeding you is the best way to get her to sit down! Keep doing it, she'll soon get the message Wink

Arithmeticulous · 19/10/2012 12:28

MasterReiver - sobbing out "you don't love me" also gets lots of what they call "naughty" behaviour forgotten about. Particularly if you say something in a baby voice like "cuggle me peez" afterwards.

Faverolles · 19/10/2012 12:29

MiniFav here - agree with mini dragon - phones are fantastic fun. Wait until mummy is selfishly making a cup of tea, climb onto the chest of drawers where the phone is, balance precariously on the edge, whilst dialling numbers and shouting "Leleloooooo" into the phone.
Gives mummy a heart attack and spoils the cup of tea too - win win!
Such fun.

LunaticFringe · 19/10/2012 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrothyDragon · 19/10/2012 12:37

Mini-Dragon again (Smuggled Mummy's phone out during the school run, now on School's wi-fi...)

I saw a policeman yesterday, and Mummy told me they're there to make sure you're good. I think they're friends with Santa. I suggest we all phone them on 999, pretend to be our Mummys and Daddys and tell them we've been good, but Mummy's a stinkypoohead, and she's been naughty.

FrothyDragon · 19/10/2012 12:40

LittleLoon, I assume you are my subordinate... Sorry... I mean cousin.

May I suggest you learn some words, but I'll teach you the ones which were fun to say when I was two.

(PS Please stop pulling my hair, and I'll teach you how to really make Daddy angry... Deal?)

Love MD

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 19/10/2012 12:44

I'm InSPsFanjos 3 year old.

(What a stupid name my mum has, what is a fanjo anyway?)

The older you get the more control you get! At 3 and I know tell me mum what I'm wearing and I put it on my self. She mumbled something yesterday as I was trying to get dressed about it been a pj top? I didn't care it had Bob the Builder on it.

She also got huffy with me because I saidheher butt was huge and I even put my arms out wide incase she didn't understand.

Once you learn the word No you will have so much control. You can ask for something, cry til you get offered it the scream no while throwing it!

It's great fun been 3!

I hear mum talking to other mums about something called stool its where she thinks she is putting me for a few hours a day in January. I think not! I'm staying with mum and making sure I don't lose any control over her.

She is mean though. Last week she wouldn't make me a fire that I could put out. I told her fireman Sam does it but she didn't care. She obviously isn't going to support my dream of been Fireman Sam.

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