to feel humilated in a school meeting?

[amy175]

My daughter many many special needs caused by a genetic disorder. We were having a care plan meeting with some community nurses and the head teacher. She has weight issues which they are due to the disorder. During this meeting i was asked what was in her lunch box, and i told them all, but the head went and got her packed lunch and opened it and showed everyone. I just felt humilated, as i had told them truthfully what was in it, so why did they need to look? Everything in there was as suggested by the dietician and they did eventally admit it was a good lunch, no crisps, choc or sweet things. But why did they need to get it out? The head was going on about how much more food my dd has than everyone else and how she sometimes has pasta instead of a sandwich, but she doesn't it just takes her longer to eat it. And what my DD has for lunch is nothing to do with anyone else but me surely? I just felt so small and humilated. Am i wrong to feel like this? or am i being too sensitive?

god im a moaner today!

Do you think any of your H's behaviour is right, I think all the poor treatment your life trained you to stop listening to your gut, you know this is not right, you are bullied by many people who will be judged by this one day.

What ages are your dc?

You need to preserve what health you have, that was made very clear at conference, to keep you as you are is an achievement with EDS people.

You don't need a bully leeching off you, putting you down.

You must time things well with bullies.

Do not allow anyone to rob you and your dc of the last of your health.

I wouldn't put too much effort in for those clients, they won't give two hoots about you when someone else provides your service. Your health as a carer and as a person of worth needs moving up your family's priority list.

kids are 17, 11, 9. no i hate being treated like that but it always happens to me i have a sign on my head ! think oh is just lazy and selfish as he was brought up that way. thinking of writing chore cards to share equally between us! that would make him realise how much i do!

better go get my dd from school. thank you xxxx

Chore cards will only work if everyone wants it and carries it through.

I would start if I was you on making people clean up after themselves, it took me three years to retrain my kids and get respect, still working on it, little steps. They grew up with everyone thinking I was their slave and a Father for their formative years modelling I was inferior, that stuff is hard to pull back, it also took counselling to help my selfesteem, which is also a work in progress.

I hope all works out for you.

You shouldn't be lifting a non mobile 6 stone child - even without your back problems. Can you get an ot assessment for adaptations to your home? This is normally done by ots from social services; but don't worry - that is all they will do, it doesn't mean you end up with a sw.

Write a letter, slowly, wording it carefully. Explain you were unhappy with way meeting went because (list with bullet points, they love bullet points but not getting them!). Perhaps Ask something along lines of what training staff do receive in disabilities/health issues? Offer to have your GP write in to clarify, not just re diet, plus letters from any national org concerned with this condition (inc bumf/photocopies of info) as it appears that HT/nurses/teachers/whoever at this school have little knowledge of the condition or its management. Esp if the school dinners are unsuitable, ask them how they INTEND to address that, and other issues you've raised. What are they going to do? Other folk here may have ideas about wording but it must be icily polite, yet patronising between the lines as they are **s. Humiliate em back, just not obviously. I'm not even you and this has got my goat!

Sorry missed two asterisks there

Sorry hadn't read zipzap's post re letter but it's a good one. Good luck.

Stand your ground darling. Say to them 'is your idea to humiliate me? Don't let them get away with this.
Take a solicitor (or solicitor friend) along next time. Parents have done that with me and it works. It's intimidation.

Complain to the Local Education Authority and OFSTED.

unfortunatley the ot has done nothing to help, she says she isn't non mobuile enough to help. she has been non mobile 4 days in the last fortnight/

start logging each 'event'. It's hard for them to argue with pure fact. Take photos/ video if needs be.

we take her to A+E each time so it is logged

should i complain about the nurses?