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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not make DD wear a brace? (More of a WWYD rather than an AIBU)

88 replies

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:20

What is it with all the braces at the moment? Every other teenager seems to have them even when they seem to have perfectly acceptable teeth. In my day the only kid in the class with braces was the one with Bugs Bunny teeth sticking out at a 45 degree angle. Are we becoming overinfluenced by the American ideal of perfect gnashers?

Anyway DD's NHS dentist seems to think her teeth are perfectly fine. But I would bet my bottom dollar that if I took her private, the dentist would tell me that her top teeth stick out (couple of millimetres at the most) and would need fixing otherwise she'd be at a serious disadvantage her for the rest of her life and never get a decent job/bag her man and live happily ever after. DD has no desire to wear a brace; all her mates who have got one complain and it has put her off.

So, given that she is a sensible teenager capable of making considered decisions, should I:

a) investigate getting her a brace
b) not bother
c) let her decide after explaining the pros and cons (she'll probably decide no)

Over to MN.

OP posts:

vvviola · 17/10/2012 21:25

As someone who has pretty crooked bottom teeth, that my lovely dentist refused to brace because they weren't that noticeable, I'd say let her choose (although leaning slightly towards no). I'd think if she's bothered by them, then she can choose to do them. If not, why put her/you through the hassle (& expense? If it's private?).

She can always get them done as an adult (I was offered the option 2 years ago in my 30s to get mine done if I wanted. I didn't bother)

LiegeAndLief · 17/10/2012 21:26

They might seem to have perfectly acceptable teeth. My teeth looked perfectly acceptable when I had a brace, but apparently (according to several dentists including NHS one) if I hadn't had one they would have mutated into hideous tusks growing out of the top of my head (or something).

If you think the NHS dentist is competant, then I would leave it at that. I had train track style braces for 3 years, they were really painful every time they were tightened and generally made me miserable, I certainly wouldn't encourage any child of mine to go through that to move their teeth a few millimetres for cosmetic reasons.

hiviolet · 17/10/2012 21:28

I'm confused. Your dentist says she's fine so you don't need to make her wear braces, do you?

LIZS · 17/10/2012 21:30

ds has been referred for one on NHS but is stubbornly refusing to cooperate. Don't feel we can force the issue after all it is a 3 year commitment on his part as well as ours, even though it would impove the spacing of his teeth and bite. I didn't get the chance and wish I had now but at his age I'd probably have refused too.

Lancelottie · 17/10/2012 21:31

Goodness, if you can avoid bracedom, do!

Took two years to get one for DS1, and his teeth were projecting 15 mm out of line with the bottom ones (so pretty damn obvious).

DS2 has found his hurts his face, wrecks his music playing and cuts his lip; plus there's the risk of trapped food causing decay if they aren't very careful. We only agreed to it after the (NHS) dentist was adamant that it was needed. His front teeth are OK-ish, but his back ones were all over the shop.

I'm not looking forward to going through this again in a couple of years with DD.

Original poster

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:32

hiviolet
The dentist says she's fine and that her teeth aren't crooked enough to be treated on the NHS. Cosmetically I can see that they are not totally straight, but they're certainly within what I'd call normal range. However, it seems that more and more kids are getting cosmetic treatment on their teeth these days. So my concern is would I be a bad mother if I didn't get it corrected.

Liege I'm pretty happy with the competence of the NHS dentist. She did a successful root canal on me.

OP posts:

PhyllisDoris · 17/10/2012 21:33

Can you afford a brace if you don't get one on the NHS? We were quoted £4000!

Original poster

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:34

"I didn't get the chance and wish I had now"

That's what I'm worried about.

"DS2 has found his hurts his face, wrecks his music playing and cuts his lip"

This too.

OP posts:

hiviolet · 17/10/2012 21:34

Blimey, wasn't aware that so many parents had the spare cash to pay for braces privately; don't they cost an arm and a leg?

Honestly, if they look fine then leave them alone.

Original poster

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:35

£4k! Bloody hell. I haven't looked into the costs.

OP posts:

TheOriginalNutcracker · 17/10/2012 21:36

Tbh i am confused as to how all of these teens are getting the braces if they don't need them. There is struct criteria now, and anything graded under a 4 or high 3, is refused nhs treatment.

I have one dd who has had extensive treatment at hospital, and who's teeth are now amazing, and one dd who only just got on the list, but at a different place as her case isn't as severe. 18mths later she is still waiting.

Lancelottie · 17/10/2012 21:37

If it's the cosmetic effect you're worried about, they could end up worse (because of decay).

DH is pretty unconvinced that it's worth the pain for DS2 (though as I said, the dentist was adamant). DS1 OTOH really was a ringer for Bugs Bunny, looking back at the photos -- and even so, we nearly didn't get it done!

Lancelottie · 17/10/2012 21:38

Yep, we get the hospital rather than dentist for DS1, Nutcracker.

Scarynuff · 17/10/2012 21:38

If the NHS dentist's opinion is that she does not need them, there is no need to have them and she won't get them for free. If the opinion is that she does qualify for braces, they should be free (although there might be a waiting list) and I would recommend getting them.

Better to get these problems sorted whilst she is young and lots of her peers are in the same boat. As an adult, the same treatment could cost up to £3,000.

However, you say the dentist does not recommend braces, so there's nothing to consider really is there, she doesn't need them

Original poster

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:39

What's the grading thing Nutcracker?

OP posts:

PhyllisDoris · 17/10/2012 21:40

It's never too late to have a brace. DD can always have her teeth straightened when she's older if she changes her mind. You can have them done as an adult, do there's no rush.
My DD had hers on the NHS eventually, but beive me, if your DD isn't up for it, then it's not worth pushing her into it.

LIZS · 17/10/2012 21:40

ds would be treated at the hospital which itself is part of the problem as it is half an hour away and he can't miss school (Year 10)

Floggingmolly · 17/10/2012 21:42

Her dentist hasn't recommended a brace and you don't want her to wear one.
There is no problem here.

Wethoughtitwasanotherday · 17/10/2012 21:43

If it were me I would get a second opinion and seriously consider going down the brace route if you feel it would improve her teeth noticeably. I had braces, I have great teeth and I am eternally grateful to my parents for forcing me to do it. I have noticed so many adults with bad teeth and I just feel that it is a shame because it is the first thing I notice about them. Having said that, virtually all my friends and family had braces, it was the absolute norm and it really does make a difference to your appearance. DH refused to wear his brace, his teeth don't look great and he really regrets it. If there is any suggestion my kids would benefit from a brace they will have one and I am afraid that I won't give them an option. As it happens my eldest is unlikely to need one, his teeth are really straight but my younger one has moved her jaw through thumb sucking, it won't be covered on the NHS as it is considered self inflicted so we will pay for her to have a brace.

pamplemousse · 17/10/2012 21:43

I have very wonky teeth and I have a job, had a husband (didn't leave cos of my teeth!!) and am pretty happy. It doesn't ruin your life.
My parents offered me the choice, I decided not to have braces because a few of my friends who did have them were in considerable pain when they were tightened and had a complicated cleaning regime that I knew I wouldn't stick to.
I don't regret having wonky teeth at all. I went out with a dentist for 3 years who dated me because he liked my teeth... but then he was slightly odd!!

ithaka · 17/10/2012 21:45

My daughter's NHS dentist referred her to the orthodontist and we were told she did not qualify for braces. Although her top & bottom teeth are not perfectly aligned, it does not affect her speech or eating.

They would not proceed as it would be purely cosmetic and could require jaw surgery and may not be permanent.

So you may find you couldn't get braces any way.

Original poster

MardyBra · 17/10/2012 21:46

"I have very wonky teeth and I have a job, had a husband (didn't leave cos of my teeth!!) and am pretty happy. It doesn't ruin your life."

That bit was tongue in cheek.

OP posts:

hiviolet · 17/10/2012 21:47

PhyllisDoris makes a really good point. If private is the only option, then she can get braces as an adult if she wishes. You don't need to worry about whether she'll regret not having it done, because she can get it done anytime.

Fishwife1949 · 17/10/2012 21:51

My son had a 2cm gap between his top and bottom jaw meaning the top set of teeth were much futher forward than his bottom set

He dribbles and has had speach issues because of it i only which i had know this when he was a toddler could of saved him years of speech therapy which has no effect because his jaw was the issue i let him choose and he said he would rather wear them now because everyone has them as yu put it

I know somone who is 36 and has braces not a good look on a grown man rather do it when a teen

Lancelottie · 17/10/2012 21:53

Fishwife, does your son have one of the twin block braces, then, or a palate thingy? (Being nosey as haven't come across many other kids as misaligned as DS1!)

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