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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be shocked at the school

279 replies

wonderingwendy · 17/10/2012 18:40

handing out my 11 year old dd tampons ?
i was really angry .
she knows all about periods and we have a very open relationship ,she has sanitary towels and that is the best option for me and her i believe
im just shocked as to how my little girl would even manage to get a tampon inside her .
the teacher gave it to them and they weren't even in a sex education class.

OP posts:
stinklebell · 17/10/2012 19:28

YABU

My 11 year old was given some tampons, they also gave her sanitary towels and panty liners as part of The Talk.

We talked about them, told her my experiences and preferences and left it up to her to make her mind up.

I found starting my periods so hard, and sanitary towels made it so much worse, and I felt so much better when my mum suggested tampons.

I would not make my daughter's experience worse just because I preferred one thing over the other

SouthernShepherdess · 17/10/2012 19:29

I remember me and the other girls at my Middle school having a lady come to school (probably the school nurse) and talk about puberty, periods etc and taking home a big pack of sanitary towels to my mum..when I was 9! That was in about 1988/9..so this is nothing new at all. I was quite excited about it! She just thought it was quite funny and said I probably won't be needing them for a few years..she put them at the bottom of her draw and used them herself! lol..but after 4 kids she really never gave it a second thought! I think you are greatly overreacting! Like I say..nothing new here. Use the tampons yourself! No law to say they have to be used by your DD. Much greater things in life to get upset about.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 19:29

But what she said wasn't accurate

LemonBreeland · 17/10/2012 19:29

I've read 5 pages of this and the OP has still not explained why she thinks tampons are inappropriate.

Tampons inside the body do not grow huge like they do in a glass of water, no matter what your flow is.

lalaland30008 · 17/10/2012 19:29

Bitout, to be fair, the op did tell her dd that the tampon will get bigger the heavier your flow is, totally inaccurate and quite scary sounding to an 11 year old.

WandaDoff · 17/10/2012 19:30

I was given pads & tampons after the period talk at school.

I was 11 & in a convent school at the time, which was 20 years ago.

SauvignonBlanche · 17/10/2012 19:31

YABVU!
"i was really angry...she has sanitary towels and that is the best option for meand her i believe"
What a strange attitude! Hmm
My DD is the same age as yours and I've bought her both. She hasn't stared her periods yet but I have told that is something that she can choose when the need arises.

picturesinthefirelight · 17/10/2012 19:31

Yabvu. I was given a sample box too at the period talk at school it used to happen at around the age of 12 but girls are hitting puberty much much earlier

Dd will be encouraged to use tsmpons as soon as possible once she starts her periods as she will find her dancing difficult. Similar for dneice who swims competitively.

BitOutOfPractice · 17/10/2012 19:31

lala she only said that, very briefly, after she had been mauled half to death. Give her a break.

mum11970 · 17/10/2012 19:31

Your dd may have decided pads are for her but, as you said, she hasn't started her periods yet and may well change her mind once she starts. They are something that should be available should she change her mind.

NatashaBee · 17/10/2012 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Binkyridesagain · 17/10/2012 19:31

My mother used Dr Whites draught excluders and refused to buy anything different for me when i started my period at 12 years, when I was 15 and allowed to earn my own money, the first thing I bought was a box of tampax.
I was very lucky that my mum had upgraded from a sanitary belt.

Hulababy · 17/10/2012 19:32

Just read that they were given tampons and towels as samples. Well even less of an issue then, not that I had an issue anyway. They are just being shown their options. Maybe they should be shown samples of reuseable options too - towels and cups?

PatriciaHolm · 17/10/2012 19:33

Well, she's said that how much they expand depends on your flow, which isn't true.

OP, I can understand how it must be hard to come to terms with your 11 year old needing sanitary protection potentially very soon; it feels so young! But it really is up to her to figure out what is best for her, based on a proper understanding of the implications of her options. You say she had never seen a tampon; can't you understand that it's a good thing she does? That it's useful that school have introduced her to something you seemed not prepared to?

BeingBooyhoo · 17/10/2012 19:33

"YABVU!
"i was really angry...she has sanitary towels and that is the best option for meand her i believe"
What a strange attitude! "

i agree. it is a very odd reaction to a very normal experience for young girls.

LAlady · 17/10/2012 19:34

I wish I'd been given tampons when I was that age. Instead I had to beg my mum to let me use them. At least you can still get on with your life without being excused from swimming/showers etc!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/10/2012 19:36

Op you sound like my mother on this issue. Trust me that is not a complement.

BeingBooyhoo · 17/10/2012 19:36

i really hope OP's reaction hasn't made her DD afraid to ask for tampons in the future if she feels she needs them or wants to try using them.

TuftyFinch · 17/10/2012 19:37

I know a grown woman who won't use tampons because she thinks they would stop her wee coming out. She has a degree in Biology and 2 children.

StuntGirl · 17/10/2012 19:38

Unreasonable and quite batshit crazy.

SauvignonBlanche · 17/10/2012 19:39

DD looked a bit nonplussed about the tampons in the Lilets teen pack I bought for her but I explained that the way women's bodies are designed meant that almost anyone could use them.
She said a teacher had said they were good for swimming lessons - cheeky cow, I think I'll complain.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 17/10/2012 19:40

Gosh, why would you give sanitary protection to high school boys? Maybe the ones you know are super-mature and the girls in their class would happily borrow from them if caught short Confused but the boys in my class much preferred sticking towels to each other's blazers and zooming tampons around like rockets!

OP I think YABU. Tampons are a perfectly acceptable, usable form of sanitary protection, not anything obscene.

PomBearEnvy · 17/10/2012 19:41

My mother had never in her life used a Tampon, yet still explained that option to me before I started my periods.

I used Sanitary towels for a year, but had to opt out of a lot of sports I enjoyed, such as swimming, ballet and gymnastics at my time of the month because of impracticality and self-consciousness.

I was so grateful of her reaction, when I said how unhappy I was, she put her issues aside and bought a range of small samples and encouraged me to relax and find what suited me. Her open mindedness made my teenage years a lot easier!

cynister · 17/10/2012 19:42

I had almost the opposite. My dd perfered towels to tampons when she first began her menses. We actually had none in the house, so had to stop at shop to pick some up before school. I talked with her at length about both towels and tampons. She decided to wear pads for about six months, that is before the swimming season began! I just let her be, and she sorted out the tampons vs towels in her own good time..

conantg · 17/10/2012 19:44

OP, my mother had the same view as you; in her case she thought that in some way a tampon would remove my virginity. This is not the case. Only a penis can do that. Oh, and by the way, THIS WAS IN 1963!!!!
You are being very very very unreasonable and also stupid.